Chapter 8 - The Turning Point

---> hey all, sorry for the long delay, here's the next few chapters! --->

Jordan was staying over with James that night, he remained quiet for the whole journey home and James was worried about him. Quickly the sheer anger and frustration he had displayed to his parents had evaporated and turned into sadness and rejection once the heat of the moment had passed. They spent an evening cuddled up on the sofa, but the mood was not relaxed - James could tell thoughts were churning through Jordan’s mind. As much as James felt wretched for his man, he couldn’t get the image of Jordan’s neck pulsing as he chugged and swallowed enormous mouthfuls of cream from his mind.

He knew Jordan was hurting internally when he turned down a chocolate milkshake - something James had never known him to refuse before. In fact, James had deliberately started keeping a stockpile of them in his fridge because he knew they were a tempting treat for his growing partner.

Towards the end of the evening, Jordan spoke. “You know, they are probably right, you know?”

“What do you mean” James stammered back, taken by surprise at Jordan suddenly opening up.

“I have let myself go and it is disgusting…, I know what you’re going to say” he stopped James interrupting with a wave of his palm “and you are really sweet, but no amount of compliments from you changes the facts. I definitely have put on weight and I have been trying to ignore the fact. But I need to face up to it, I am going to weigh myself”.

James followed him upstairs to the bathroom, asking “Well, you have put on a few pounds sweetie but you know I love you all the more for it”

“I know you do, and I really love that you do, but I can’t use that as a reason for denial to myself that I have been letting myself grow. Anyway, I know you would be happier if I got my lean figure and jawline back sweetie”, little did he realise how incorrect his statement was.

“Well, how much do you think you weigh darling? I bet you have barely put on anything” James asked, as Jordan retrieved the scales from the cupboard, wiping off the layer of dust they had accumulated.

“I was about 165lbs, but since I could not fit in those 32” jeans at the shop, I must me more like 180 now, I’d guess. Well, here goes nothing - let’s see what I am working with.” Jordan said with a determination in his voice which surprised James. James was concerned at how quickly and how deeply his vicious parents’ words seemed to have affected Jordan’s confidence. Jordan kicked off his slippers and slid his joggers down over his ample backside, before lifting his arms to pull his shirt over his head. James marvelled at the curves of his love handles momentarially before snapping back to reality.

The scale creaked as he climbed on, the digital numbers dancing. Jordan exhaled and looked up at the ceiling nervously, before glancing down as the figure came to a rest on 201lbs.

“Fuck Fuck Fuck” he exclaimed. “What the fuck?! How have I done this to myself? This is the first time I have been over 200lbs since I was 20 years old. You know I was 260 at my heaviest and I was so proud to get down, I vowed never to go above 200 again. Fuck”. Jordan shuddered with frustration, breathing deeply. James slid in immediately and cooed gentle words of comfort to try and calm him down, after a few seconds it worked and Jordan’s determination returned.

“That is it. It is diet time. I am going to lose this weight and you are going to get your toned boyfriend back”. His lips made a firm line across his pale freckled face and his normally twinkling eyes were full of steely determination.

James felt his heart drop, and his stomach sink. No, he told himself, you were madly crushing on Jordan when he was toned before - you know if it makes him happy you will remain attracted to him and happy to be with him. Still, despite telling himself this in his head, he could not shake his uneasy feeling.

Clearly distraught with himself, Jordan said little more before he climbed into bed. Sleep did not come easily for either of them, both of their minds churning. James wished he could reach into Jordan’s mind and make him understand just how beautiful and sexy he really was. He wished he could build his confidence and rid him of the baggage a lifetime of his vile parents had lumbered him with.

Although only inches apart, James felt more distant from Jordan than he ever had before. He rolled over to give his man a spoon, sliding his hand over plump love handles and tucking under his chubby gut, wondering if this was the last time he would feel his lover be so soft.