Chapter 25 - Knock Out

It was raining. The skies were dark. The highway was empty save for a lone, red sedan blasting across the landscape. The pitter patter of the rain drops and the swishing of the windshield wipers making up for the lack of conversation inside.

The occupants were listening to the wheels of the car rolling across the slick ground, only to be interrupted by an occasional crunching sound. The occupant in the passenger seat, a chubby-looking young woman, was snacking as she stared out the windshield. The driver, as muscular as his companion was chunky, kept both hands on the wheel as he, too, stared out at the road.

This was their third day in the car together, en route to their universities. They’d arrive in a few hours, and Sadie was already imagining the meal she’d have once she got back to the Varney cafeteria. And she was excited to be doing so, as the tuition money had only cleared a couple nights before. Her gain-aversary video had taken off, and her 25 followers expanded to over 400, more than covering the expenses she’d need to stay at school that semester.

But a few hours was too long to wait for a meal and Sadie asked her boyfriend, “Hey Trev, want to take a break soon? There’s a good restaurant coming up. I think we tried it last summer”.

Trevor didn’t say anything for a moment, before answering, “That’s alright. I just wanna get there.”

Sadie was taken slightly aback. She wasn’t used to her meal requests experiencing much pushback. “Are you sure?”, she asked, before adding in a sing-song voice, “I hear their fries are amazing!”

“Yeah, I’m sure. Let’s just try to get there before this storm gets worse”, he replied without a hint of playfulness.

Sadie was disappointed, her stomach beginning to rumble, but she understood. The weather really was terrible.

But an hour later, as she watched the restaurant come, go, and fade away in the rear view, Sadie reached into her snack bag only to find it was empty and that she was hungry. For the first time in over a year, she was feeling deprived, and it sucked. Feeling angry and desperate and, frankly, a little bratty, she tried asking Trevor again for a pit stop.

Trevor, who had evidently not learned the lesson about denying a woman a meal, once again said, “Nah, we’ll be there soon. It can wait.”

That’s when Sadie got mad, her hangery feelings taking over. “What’s going on with you?!”, she demanded, “You never used to say no like that. Are you mad about something?”

Trevor sighed, took a deep breath, and answered, “Sadie, the weather out here sucks and I don’t want to be driving in it. The app says it might snow tonight and we gotta beat that.”

Again, Sadie understood the logic, but pressed on anyhow. She tried smiling and said, “But Trev, what’s being stuck in the snow with me? Whatever we do, it’s an adventure.”

This apparently worked, as Trevor again sighed and said, “You know what? You’re right. I’ll stop at the next gas station and you can pick something up”.

———

As the car roared down the highway, the sun began its descent down to the horizon. But behind the endless pouring of rain and the unceasing gusts of wind, there was no one to notice.

Amidst the black and the wet, only punctuated by the occasional flash of yellow light, the beacon that was the Fossil Oil gas station stood out like a spotlight, drawing all those weary travelers near.

Sadie perked up when she saw it coming, the sweat behind her neck beginning to dry. “Oh thank god”, she thought. Her hanger had left her feeling a bit panicky, but it all began to fade with the prospect of a quick bite literally on the horizon.

True to his word, Trevor pulled over at the gas station, saying as Sadie practically leapt out of the car, “let’s try to make this quick”.

Partially to avoid the rain, partially to satiate her hunger, Sadie ran to the gas station entrance. She hadn’t realized her appetite had gotten so out of control, but it didn’t matter, she needed to eat.

And Sadie didn’t know where to look first. There were hot dogs rotating in their cabinet, premade burgers and sandwiches in the fridge, and endless chip and snack options, their vibrant packagings all alluring.

Sadie ended up going for a little bit of everything - a hot dog smothered in mustard, a burger, 3 bags of chips, a dried sausage, and a soda. If the young man working the register thought anything unusual of this scene, his passive expression betrayed none of it.

Running back to the car and strapping in, Sadie breathlessly explained, “In case you’re hungry too, I got you some stuff as well”.

“Thanks, but that’s alright. Go ahead”, he replied.

So Sadie dove in, her hunger an energizing, propelling force. She ate a big of chips in no time, had taken a swig soda, and began working on the hot dog with a deep, pleasure-filled moan, when Trevor, eyes on the road, spoke up and asked, “Sadie, what’s going on with you?”.

———

“Listen, uhh… I like you, Trevor”, Sadie began, “and I think you feel the same. But there’s something you should know. I uhh… really like food, and I can eat a lot of it. I don’t like running and I’m sick to death of Greg’s healthy stuff, you know this. But it means I’ve gained a little weight and things like this *pointing to the popped button* happen. I need you to accept that and not judge me - can you do that?”

———

The rain pounded ever harder. The roadside lights came to an end as the car entered the final stretch ahead of its destination. The air inside, which had previously been punctuated by intermittent crunches, now grew still.

Sadie stopped eating and looked at her boyfriend, a confused look on her face. “What?”, she asked.

“You’ve really changed lately, you know that? When we met, you were Sadie the track star. Sure, you liked food or whatever, but you had lots of other stuff going on. But now… now it seems like all you want to do is eat or talk about eating or go out for food… you get what I’m saying. I mean… have you looked at yourself lately…? It’s starting to get worrying.”

Sadie felt cold, her hunger completely faded. There was no getting out of this conversation.

“Yeah, I’ve gained weight, I know”, she began, coolly, “Do you remember, months ago, that night during Spring Break, I told you I might get fat, I might pop buttons and rip shorts, and you had to be okay with that, without judgement? Because I’m sensing that judgement now… now what, tell me, is going with you, Trevor”.

The car passed a particularly dark stretch of road before Trevor responded, the notes of bitterness in his voice no longer disguised, “I never thought you were serious. I mean, it’s just like the stuff last month with the Varney track team. Who willingly gets fat? Who actively tries to lose their scholarship? It makes no sense.”

Sadie got angry, feeling heat rise from her chest and settling somewhere in the region of her second chin. She raised her voice somewhat, saying, “Varney track was YOUR idea. YOU wanted to stay together and live in the same town. I did what I had to. And It’s not like I’ve seen you much anyway… and please, you didn’t think I was SERIOUS?! Why would I lie about that”

Trevor visibly did his best to stay calm, a lot was coming out that he’d been stewing on for a long time. “Oh my god, Sadie, who could possibly be serious about any of that. Trust me, you’ve already gained enough weight sitting around that dorm and eating your friend Daphne’s gross ass food. Maybe try a new hobby for a while, huh?”

Sadie was incensed by this latest barb, but didn’t get a word in as Trevor continued, “And as for me not seeing you much, that’s on you too. Do you know how many times I’ve invited you to JTU? Dozens. And do you know many times you, my girlfriend, ever visited? NONE. I have a really cool group of friends, we have hobbies - you clearly didn’t want to be a part of it, so I moved forward without you.”

“Oh what do you want me to do, hang out with a bunch of gym rats?!”, demanded Sadie.

“So you do know what we do!”, exclaimed Trevor, his voice rising as well, “You’ve never said anything about it, did you know that? I’ve completely changed my body and my diet and it’s like you never fucking noticed. And yet, you offer me the garbage you just bought, please, I’m not gonna praise you for turning into a pig. It goes both ways, Sadie!”

“Yeah, like I should be so proud of you for turning into a human statue”, Sadie scoffed

“At least I’M happy!”, yelled Trevor.

“AS AM I”, matched Sadie.

Trevor looked to calm himself again, and said in a more level tone, “You know I saw Greg over the break…”

———

The outline of a town came into view, bringing relief to the darkness. The rain was turning to slush as darkness fell and the temperature dropped. But nothing could match the frigidity in the car.

“He texted me, I guess, right after New Year’s”, started Trevor, “he asked how I was doing, how I was liking JTU, and all that, but he really wanted to ask about you. He’s really concerned. He even asked if you were pregnant, can you believe that? Then, he invited me out for coffee, maybe a couple days later. He said he spoke to you, that you’d made everything out to be fine and dandy, with track, with us, everything. Don’t worry, I didn’t spill your track secret, but I told him I was concerned too and that I’d try to talk to you. Here we are, but know you’re not being as low-key as you think”.

Sadie was momentarily stunned. A quick TV-side conversation was one thing, but Greg actually sought out Trevor? That was bad. What else would he do? She would consider this another time, there were more pressing concerns at the moment.

“You were concerned too”, she replied in a mocking tone, “cut the crap. I was straight up with you from day one. Despite what you’ve said, I’ve never actually changed. Sure, yeah, I’ve gained weight, but I’m still myself. It’s you who’ve changed, Mr. Pizza Boy”

“You say that, but I’ve changed in a way that makes sense. I’m HEALTHIER! What you’re doing it’s, it’s… madness.”

He said the last word softly, as though it were a grenade plinking into no man’s land. But Sadie, now in a fighting mood, picked it up. “MADNESS?! Oh *** man, that’s so intolerant. I’m being myself. And you know what? Eating whatever I want, gaining weight, it’s FUN. What I’m doing is liberating, and *** for not being on board. It was the ONLY thing I asked of you”

Trevor glanced at Sadie, still keeping his eyes on the road, the expression on his face resembling pity as he said, “Oh yeah, fuck me for thinking my girlfriend was exaggerating about potentially getting fat. Such a normal thing for a girl in our society. And fun, you say?! I can’t believe you’re so deluded. How much weight have you gained anyway, like 35 pounds? How fun could that possibly fucking be?”

“Try 50”, Sadie hissed, beyond furious, “and it’s not just fun, you piece of shit. It turns me on. I get off on it. I’m gonna get so fat, you won’t believe it, and I’m gonna love it”.

Sadie had thrown the final, largest truth, the one there was no escaping from, right as Trevor passed the Crestfield city limits and turned towards Varney. The car reached peak silence as snow began to fall.

The wheels crunched and rumbled over the changing ground, the silence persisting until the car pulled up in front of Varney’s Myers Hall. “I can’t do this”, said Trevor, a mix of confusion and outrage etching his words, “I need a break from this… from us… Please go”

“Couldn’t agree more”, stated Sadie, her tone like solid rock. She grabbed her bag of half eaten snacks, her luggage, and left, leaving Trevor Anderson, the pizza boy, the math buddy, behind.