Chapter 6

I lay on my bed groaning in pain as I tried to shove more food down. He was passed out on the couch. Three empty plates of nachos, two monster burritos, a tub of icecream, and a box of doughnuts were scattered around him. All licked clean. He wasted nothing. I had actually seen him lick them all clean. He had grunted and groaned to haul his stuffed body around just to do this. At one point on all fours with his gut hanging down. He was even fatter than I thought. He had finished then collapsed back onto the couch. The orchestra of grunts groans burps chewing and chugging and huffing moaning was finished with the sigh of relief that comes from a man unbuttoning his pants after eating an ungodly amount. I hadn’t gotten as much down. But in my quest to egg him on I had somehow eaten myself into a rather embarrassing position. I was pinned down by the weight of my own overstuffed belly. Even worse was that I couldn’t get to the button on my jeans. Even worse was that my pot addled brain had decided that I might as well keep eating and drinking. And I had until I could no longer reach my food. That both scared me and turned me on. This created another problem. There was no room in my jeans. Not with all the food I had eaten. So I had panicked for a bit only to realize I could pull the food closer by grabbing the bedding. So I in all my wisdom thought that eating more would help by either popping the button or making me fall into a food coma.

Winter weight was all it was. Besides, it was nothing compared to my friend. The holidays will do that to you. Obligatory eating and boredom plus seasonal goodies. You have to eat it then because you won’t get a chance again till next year. You are stuck at the table, stuck at the family gatherings and then the rest of it away from prying eyes and under the cover of heavy clothes and excused from exercise by the cold. There is nothing to do but eat. That’s what I told myself as I watched him stuff himself with each extra calorie I provided him with in addition to all the holiday food. He could barely button his pants back up in time for dinner. I had poked his middle and challenged him. Whoever grew the most from thanksgiving to January would get $100. He agreed clearly not thinking. He had said it would be easy. So much food around, so much obligatory eating.