Chapter 5

Benny took in his wife’s expression of worry. He loved the food, too much actually, which was the problem. He should’ve stopped after the first serving, but it was too good to turn down a second. Now here Jess was, trying to load even more onto his plate.

“No, no it’s so good! I’m just really full is all.” Benny placed his hands on his belly, emphasizing his statement.

“Really?” Jess cocked her head to the side. “I didn’t think this was all that filling of a meal. Did you have anything else to eat?”

Benny pondered his options on how to respond. If he admitted he stopped by McDonald’s earlier, he’d risk upsetting Jess over “ruining his appetite” again. He remembered her comment on how much effort she’d put into cooking tonight. He couldn’t tell her.

“Nah it just…must be the potatoes. Filling, haha,” he said lamely. He watched as Jess’ body language deflated. She set down the bowl and spoon and settled back into her seat dejectedly.

“It’s okay if you’re not a fan of the roast, Benny. At least now I know, it’s fine.” Jess picked up her wine glass and took a sip as she crossed her other arm over her chest.

“I…” Benny didn’t know what to say. She only called him by his name when she was annoyed or upset. He tried to evaluate how full he really was. He definitely shouldn’t have any more, and the heaviness he felt in his stomach was proof of that. But he’d rather not have his wife irritated with him tonight. A little more wouldn't hurt. “Don’t be silly, of course I’m a fan.” Benny picked up the bowl of potatoes and served himself a bit more.

“Really?” Jess said again, excited. She grinned and took the bowl from Benny’s hands, serving him triple what he had given himself. She then proceeded to top it with more roast and gravy, leaving out the veggies this time. “I knew you would, you always appreciate my cooking.” She set the serving utensils down and leaned over the table to plant a kiss on Benny’s cheek.

“Yeah, I really do,” Benny said in response, smiling back at Jess. She seemed to be happy again, picking away at a roll and popping little bits of it in her mouth as she watched him expectantly.

Benny straightened back up in his chair, moving himself closer to the dining table. He felt his gut roll forward, filling the space between his large thighs. It made a muffled gurgle sound from the movement and abundance of food already to be digested. He ignored it and took a bite of his third plate of food. The silky potatoes went down easy, and the savory gravy whetted his appetite enough for him to think he could get through without too much effort. But the roast, while juicy and tender, seemed to make him noticeably fuller with every bite. He could feel his stomach expanding as he ate, slowly, which rode his shirt up as a result. He repeatedly pulled it down, wanting to maintain a semblance of composure despite how overfed and fat he felt. He had never had thirds before, a thought that kept playing in Benny’s head. It felt as though he were actively crossing a new boundary. At least when he had seconds it was just in an effort to satisfy his ever-increasing hunger, even if he felt like a beached whale by the end of it. But endeavoring to eat even more, after he’d already decided to stop, after his body had already told him to stop, felt like a different level of gluttony on his part. Like he wasn’t simply getting fat, but overtly making himself fat.

Jess placed another roll on his plate, and he hadn’t noticed when she filled his wine glass again. What was it his third, fourth glass? He wasn’t sure, but when she got up to get a new bottle, he appreciated a few moments on his own. He took the opportunity to really rub his upper belly, it was distended and far past the satisfying fullness Benny had grown accustomed to. The rubbing didn’t help much but he continued anyway, letting out soft moans as he tried to ease the pressure. Jess returned with a new bottle and one of her keto ice cream bars for herself. She had finished her plate at some point and was apparently moving on to dessert. Benny quit rubbing his gut, he wouldn’t want to draw Jess’ attention to it, and continued forcing bite after bite into his mouth. He had given up trying to keep his shirt down, it rode up every time he leaned in for another forkful. After what felt like forever, he finally shoved the last bit of potatoes into his mouth.