chapter 6

The next day in Studio Art, Wes smiled wide at me, his dimples on full display. We didn’t say much, just finishing our drawings, but the energy between us had shifted considerably. I still thought about Dante and whatever could happen romantically, but I was also very eager to see where things could go with Wes. It was a decision I never thought I’d have to make, a real Harvey’s Choice.

Dante found me in the cafeteria a few days later. We hadn’t hung out in over a week, and I didn’t see him as often on the walks to or from school. He was just really busy. I looked at him as he sat across from me.

“Hey Stranger,” I said. He gave a smile and I noticed it wasn’t especially cheery.

“Hi Harvey.” I picked at the world’s saddest side salad as he ate a sandwich from a sack lunch. I offered him half of my pizza and he happily agreed to take it off of my hands. “You want to go see a movie with me and Tone tomorrow?” he asked.

“Tomorrow, as in Saturday?” I asked stupidly. He nodded.

“I’m caught up on a lot of the work I need done for next week, and I could use a break.” He lowered his voice. “Besides, I miss hanging out with you.”

“Yeah, you have been really busy.”

“I can have the car and stuff too, so if you maybe want to drop Tony off, we could go get something to eat after.” I had no guys—none—for eighteen years and now I had two. I’d heard of people juggling five, six potential partners at once. I didn’t want to juggle anyone. I was no circus clown, no court jester. I felt slightly sick to my stomach. Was I supposed to let Dante know I was going on a date with another person? I still really liked him, but I had also really liked Wes for a long time. It wasn’t fair to lead Dante on because I was scared things with Wes might not pan out.

“I can’t. I’m sorry,” I said, being a complete clown. I was juggling. He frowned, looking so let down. “Maybe some other time though.”

“I don’t have to bring Tony,” he said. “It could just be us if that’s the problem.” Now that was despicable, making him think I didn’t like Tony. Tony was cool; he definitely wasn’t the problem. I looked at Dante and smiled sadly. I knew I was disappointing him. He had his chocolate chip eyes focused on me and I had to look away.

He looked large and commanding in the lunchroom. I had made fun of his mustache, but it was actually very dashing with his little goatee. He was cute to me, but he could definitely intimidate a room full of ninth graders. He was a bit taller than Wes, but not as beefy. He wasn’t as muscled either, but I could tell he still carried some respectable muscle from his basketball days.

“Tony’s not a problem,” I said truthfully, before lying like a lying liar. “I’m just busy. My mom and I have to do something.” He nodded slightly and continued eating his lunch.

Since it was Friday, he was dressed more casually. He was wearing a pair of blue jeans that I assumed had been loose-fitting at some point and a black t-shirt. It had a bunch of different music notes on it and the name of his college. His chest was muscular, but I noticed a slight sag to it. His belly jutted out, pulling the fabric of the shirt. I got the feeling, just like with the jeans, that it was an older shirt.

“I’ll talk to you later,” he said once he was finished. He stood up and I looked at his butt as he walked away. He had an amazing bubble butt. I wanted to see it without those jeans covering it up. He shoved his trash into the garbage shoot angrily and left the cafeteria.

I wished I wasn’t in some weird love triangle that wasn’t even a love triangle at all. Wes had practice after school, so I walked home with the Washington brothers. Of course, the day I pissed Dante off, he was able to walk home with us.

“Harvey, are you going to the movies with us this tomorrow?” Tony asked. I looked at Dante, who told him to drop it in a low voice.

I felt awful, but it was not like I could tell him I had a date with another guy. That would just make things even more awkward. I made it home after saying my goodbyes. “Harvey, what are you doing tomorrow night?” my mother asked. “Because I’m having grownup company and I need the house until midnight.”

“Grownup company?” I laughed. “I’m going to a movie,” I told her.

“With Paul’s kids?” she asked. “Because, uh, that’s my grownup company. It’s Paul. We’re going to be having dinner.” My mother was obviously smitten. She and Dr. Washington—were going to be busy Saturday night! Dante must’ve known I lied to him, about having to do something with my mom.

I was such an idiot! That was why he was so upset. He knew I was lying to him, and I guess that really surprised him. I should’ve just been honest. I should’ve told the truth.

I must have drafted a hundred different texts to Dante that night, but I didn’t send any. I didn’t want to hurt him or for him to be upset, but I also really wanted to go out with Wes. Would Dante even care? Maybe he was seeing other people too and this wasn’t a big deal at all. But the only way I’d ever know any of this was to talk about it with him, but I was a coward. After deleting my hundredth and one text, I finally fell asleep.