Chapter 10

I told my mom I was using the car. I rarely drove and I was really bad at it. I was always so nervous. I put my seatbelt on and placed my hands at ten and two. “Don’t crash” I repeated to myself over and over again. I pulled out of the driveway and made my way to Wes’s house.

I was there in about twenty minutes and I pulled up their long driveway. The garage was open. I put the car in park. I didn’t crash. I got out and saw it was Wes in the garage. Of course he was lifting weights, looking all gorgeously hunky and stuff.

“Uh, Wes…” I called as I approached. He looked at me with his beautiful blue eyes and gave me a half-smile. It felt like he didn’t want to see me. “Can we talk please?”

“Yeah…sure,” he said. He stood up from the weight bench and I got a boner. His beefy body glistened with a light layer of sweat. He walked over towards me, his arms not touching his sides, because he seemed to walk in such a way that suggested he couldn’t put them down if he tried.

His belly jutted out in front of him in a nice round sphere. I wondered if he had eaten recently. His thighs were massive and his chest looked solid. He was a behemoth…that was for sure. “Did I do something to make you mad at me?” I asked.

“Why would you think that?” he asked. He was so handsome. I couldn’t stop staring at him.

“You just ignore me again and you don’t say anything to me in Art. I…is it because I freaked out on our date. I just was really nervous and…and…I’m sorry.” I was rambling and he was looking at me and I just needed to give up on the dating game and join a monastery.

“I thought ya were made at me…” he said. “I was being so dumb and aggressive and I thought you thought I was just some idiot trying to screw ya on the first date.” I wish he’d put a shirt on so I could form sentences.

“I really like you Wes” I said. He smiled.

“I…I really like you too Ha…Harvey.” I loved how he was just a big softie. “Can I kiss you?” he asked. I walked into his slightly sweaty body and he leaned down a little to kiss me. I liked the way he smelled. It was slightly musky, but I could still totally smell his active sport deodorant.

“Are you coming to my mom’s little engagement announcement dinner on Sunday?” I asked.

“She’s getting married?” he asked. I nodded. "Who’s the guy?”

“Dr. Kinkle…Dante’s, uh, dad,” I told him. “Wes…”

“Yeah Harvey?” I was still holding onto him. He could probably snap me in half if he didn’t like what I was about to say. I told him everything about Dante and me and how we kissed and how I blew him off for our date and that I was a terrible person. I didn’t want to be a liar. I didn’t want Wes to think that about me.



He didn’t say anything for a while. He didn’t break my spine, so that was a good sign, but his hands shook slightly. I had upset him. I hurt his feelings. He let me go and stood there in front of me, all hulking and kind of frightening. “Wes…I…I’m sorry.”

“I’m not mad,” he said. “It’s just…do you still like him?” Did I? I…don’t think I did. I smiled to myself. I think I was over Dante…and besides, he was my brother.

“I like you Wes” I said. “I don’t think I like him like that anymore.” Wes smiled and kissed me. He’d be over my house on Sunday…along with Dante. I just hoped Dante and I could be friends.

“I love you Harvey.” Those words lingered for a moment. He said that he loved me. I almost cried and I thought about my parents. My mom said my dad stayed here in our town when she said those words. They were like a trap…keeping me here when only a few months I wanted to leave more than anything.

“Wes…I…I can’t say that to you” I said. His face fell. “Not here…not in this town.” He looked at me. “I don’t want to stay here, do you? Have you ever even considered leaving?”

“Of course I have Harvey. I’m gay. You can’t be gay and happy here.”

“Then let’s leave!” I exclaimed. “Why should we have to stay here? Why can’t me and you go somewhere nicer and be happy there? I want to play the cello, Wes! I want to play the goddam cello!”

“Then you can play the goddam cello!” he shouted. “We can leave. We can go wherever you want to go and I’ll be there for you Harvey. I’ll be there, lovin’ you like I always have!” His breathing was deep. He grabbed my arms and pulled me into his body forcefully. He kissed me like a lunatic and it was something I always wanted.

His stomach was slightly less sweaty, but still just as large. He was honest to God the man I loved and I knew he was. I didn’t need anybody else. I had Wes and we were going to leave and be happy and I was going to play my cello. Wes was going to let me play my cello and we’d find something he was passionate about and he’d do that.

I wanted us to eat pie together and see movies together and kiss and have sex without me freaking out and it could all happen somewhere else. We’d be leaving and facing the world together and we’d be happy, me and my blue eyed, puppy dog.

The End!