Taco girl and moon stache save omnomopolis

Chapter 3 - THE MUSTACHED TACO OF JUSTICE

Main Street was dead quiet. The scorched hulks of burned out vehicles sat smoking among the wreckage of a day's worth of constant, violent battle. Some bits of assorted flotsam -- tissues, plastic bags, empty paper cups -- occasionally blew down the road, in some ways betraying and in others reinforcing the sense of emptiness. But the street was not empty. On one side, the grim faces of six of the Cookie Decuplets glared across the street, where Taco Girl strutted out of an alley. The dimming rays of the early evening sun lent the scene the washed out fuzzy look of an old western film. For a full minute the two parties just stared at each other, the Cookie Decuplets grasping their various blunt instruments, Taco Girl with her hands at her sides, fists clenched but body relaxed.

Taco Girl broke the silence. "This is your last chance to give up."

"That's not happening, lady," answered one of the Cookies. "You ate four of our brothers. We're not gonna walk away from the person what did that."

"From here on out there's no turning back," said Taco Girl. "and there's no way you can win."

For the first time, it was weakest looking Cookie that spoke. "We knew the first time we cashed a bad check that the consequences would eventually catch up with us. The longer we kept at it, the worse we knew it would become. But we kept on going, damning ourselves into an ever deeper circle of hell. So really we knew coming into this that there was no way we could win, and from the beginning there was never any turning back. But it's been one hell of a ride, and there's no way we're going to get off the train before we reach our final stop."

Taco Girl cracked her knuckles, then took her fighting stance. "In that case," she said, "It's time I finished my dessert."

Taco Girl once again let loose her war cry and began to charge. She rammed straight into the lead Cookie and delivered a long straight punch so powerful it immediately split him in two. She dove into a roll, simultaneously picking up the two pieces. She broke out of the roll with a handstand, then side-somersaulted to her feet. She began to eat the split Cookie while knocking out another with an expert kick. She finished off the Cookie she had, then grabbed the unconscious one by the legs and swung him around, knocking back an attack from the remaining four. She stuffed the Cookie into her mouth whole and chewed while holding off the rest. She was getting tired of the taste of Chocolate Chip Cookie Decuplet as she swallowed the last of it down, and her mouth was getting dry.

"I sure wish Moon Stache would show up with that milk," she thought aloud.

Suddenly there was a deafening CRASH! And a BOOM! Something smashed into the road behind her, throwing up a wall of asphalt dust and debris.

"Did someone order some... space milk?" Moon Stache stepped forward from the crater he had left. A collective gasp was heard from the Cookies, the hiding bystanders, and Taco Girl. "Here, catch!" Moon Stache said as he tossed a gallon jug of milk into the air.

Taco Girl leapt up and caught it at the apex of a backflip; no easy task, considering her altered center of gravity. She raised it to her lips and finished chugging it as she hit the ground with a seismic THUMP!

"Thanks, Moon Stache," she said. "I can handle it from here."

"I thought a hero as great as Taco Girl wouldn't need any help from a washed up old has been like me." joked Moon Stache. "FOR JUSTICE!"

"FOR JUSTICE, MOON STACHE!" shouted Taco Girl with glee. She munched, crunched, nommed, bit, and even nibbled. In seconds the four Cookies were gone. The only remaining hardship they could cause anyone would be indigestion, and with Taco Girl's super atomic gastric juices, that couldn't possibly be a problem.

The citizens of Omnomopolis all at once left their hiding places and rushed into the street, cheering for their saviors! They lifted Moon Stache and Taco Girl into the air and carried them on their shoulders to City Hall. Well, actually they carried Moon Stache and lifted Taco Girl onto a flatbed truck, but the meaning of the gesture was not lost on anyone.

They set the two down before the Mayor, Mr. Hellmann R. Naise. "Moon Stache," spoke Mayor Naise with an authoritative tone, "I, the Mayor, would like to thank you for your services to our fine town of Omnomopolis, both personally and on behalf of our voting citizens. If it were not for your incredible feats of milky daring, we would still in fear of rampaging criminals, and if it were not for your heroic feats of the past, we could well be living under the dark cloud of communism. And to you, Taco Girl, I say, uh, thanks for helping. If there is anything we can do to repay you both, name it."

"For my part," said Moon Stache, "all I want is to rub the belly of the true hero of the day, Taco Girl!"

"Go right ahead!" said Taco Girl. "It could use a rub."

Moon Stache gave Taco Girl's belly a firm yet gentle massage. After he had been at it for twenty minutes everyone began feeling a little awkward.

"Ahem." Taco Girl cleared her throught.

"Oh, sorry," said Moon Stache. "I guess I got a little carried away. Well, that's it for me, I'll be off back to my Moon Base on the Moon. Hi ho Moon Stache, away!" And with that he soared into the sky, disappearing into the clouds.

"And you, Taco Girl," said the Mayor, "what can I humbly do for you?"

"You can spring for lunch, I'm starving," said Taco Girl. "Where's the nearest buffet?"

And thus, Omnomopolis was no longer troubled by food-related crises (Except of course for the E. Coli at McDonalds). The citizens were at last free from worrying about supervillain attack, and could once again go about their daily lives and divert their attention to life's little problems, such as the collapse of the town's economy after the Mayor emptied the treasury to pay for Taco Girl's lunch binge.

And then everybody fucked.

THE END