chapter 5

We had both agreed that we would not let the wedding get in the way of our gaining and that we would weigh each other at the end of each month as the wedding approached. A wicked little pleasure that we had not given a thought would cause Constance's wedding dress maker so much angst!
I guess it's the little things that make you realise that you are no longer even close to approaching the same size as the majority of other people. The day after the big weigh in Constance took me shopping for her engagement ring and for a look at wedding bands. Though Constance still had what I thought were fairly slender fingers, the range of rings in stock told a different story. For me there was no hope. My fingers had gotten quite pudgy, though they were far from being sausages...well not yet anyway. It took six jewelry stores, three shopping centres (and three lunches) before we found what we were looking for in terms of style. The jewelry store sales girl was quite polite and even blushed a little when noting that the rings would need to be resized. She was more than a little surprised when Constance suggested that she should get them made two sizes bigger than our current measurements. Before she could ask why, Constance patted her belly while looking at mine and explained that it was most likely that like all newlyweds we would put on a pound or two and it would save time getting them the right size now. Her shock was evident, but she dutifully wrote the request into her order book.
Having done a full day's work, and with only three small lunch breaks, we had worked up an appetite that only a good buffet could resolve and so we headed to 'Linguini's' an all you could eat gourmet pasta restaurant.' We had become a regular sight there over the past six months, eating there at least once a fortnight, and Sergio, the owner, always gave us a knowing smile as we entered. Sergio was a very large man himself and had just gotten married six months earlier to Maria, the head waitress. Sergio greeted us at the door as always and we shared the news of our impending nuptials. Sergio whooped for joy (making all of us fatties the centre of attention) and called for Maria to come and hear the great news. Sergio and I obviously shared a few things in common. Maria had been a plump girl (six months and a lot of pasta ago). It was no surprise for either Constance or I that each time we saw Maria, she seemed 10 pounds heavier. Constance whispered in my ear that Maria seemed to be outdoing me in the gaining stakes. It was hard to believe but true none the less. Maria had left plump way behind, probably 140lbs behind.
Sergio showed us to our regular table and recommended his house special 'to start'! Of course Sergio's linguini was the house specialty so we started with a piled plate each and quickly moved to a bowl full of Fettuccini Carbonara each and a full stick of garlic bread, to mop up the sauce. I spotted a chicken pesto gnocchi and went back for a third plate. No sooner had I finished than Sergio arrived at the table with Maria, each of them holding two huge plates of spinach and ricotta Tortellini. The deep plates were swimming in four cheese sauce and heaped high with grated parmesan. Sergio announced to the whole restaurant that we had announced our engagement and soon we would be as happy as he and his Maria. The patrons gave some polite applause but they largely looked on in bemused silence as Sergio and Maria joined us at the table. It must have made an impressive sight with four complete fatsos about to consume yet another meal that would feed thirty two weight watchers!!
Even though I had expanded my stomach to accept huge proportions over the last year, four massive helpings of the richest pastas you could imagine had my upper belly quite tight and my shirt starting to strain as I scooped the last of the sauce from the bottom of the plate. Sergio commented on my sweating brow and Maria conspiratorially shared that she knew that feeling all too well. Constance, never backward in coming forward, took that as an entrée and congratulated Maria on her recent gain. Sergio and Maria just smiled at each other. After a few moments Sergio congratulated Constance on mine and moved his chair back putting his hands meaningfully on his voluminous belly. 'You are people after our own hearts, I have a special dessert for us to share in celebration.' Sergio waddled his way back to the kitchen and returned with a chocolate and cream profiterole tower that must have stood two feet high. By now many of the patrons were whispering to one another behind their hands, no doubt appalled at our size and our continuing calorie binge. Sergio explained that a lunchtime function had cancelled and 'it was a shame to let it go to waste'. Sergio must have seen the slight look of dismay cross my face as he leaned forward and said, 'we can take our time, have a hot chocolate or three to wash it down, my staff can handle things and hey, I'm the boss, so we can stay here until it's finished.' Sergio finished the sentence with a smile at Maria just as Constance's hand slid down under my belly apron giving it several squeezes and a jiggle for good effect. It was going to be a long evening...
It was almost midnight when the last cream covered profiterole disappeared into my groaning stomach. I had had some pretty extreme stuffings over the past year, trying to stretch my stomach, but this surpassed any of them. The conversation had been great with lots of laughter and after the last of the patrons had left, great stories with Constance and Sergio swapping competing tales of their exploits in getting Maria and myself fatter. It was so obvious that he and Maria were as deeply in love with each other as Constance and I. Now it was time to go and while Constance was great at her feeding craft, I now understood why Maria had gained so much so fast. I moved my chair back very slowly and with Constance on one side and Sergio on the other I lifted myself from the chair. My belly groaned under the weight of more than 10 pounds of pasta, profiteroles and almost a gallon of hot chocolate. The buttons on the top of my shirt, which had been comfortably loose on arriving, were now obviously straining. My first step made my stomach hurt in a pleasant kind of way as I gained a slow shuffling momentum towards the door. I could feel the food gently sloshing in my belly as I took each step. Thankfully the car was just outside and I was very much looking forward to lowering the seat and letting all of the food digest.