Chapter 2 - free to fatten

Emily was my first - the first girl I really fell for, and I fell hard. And she was the first one I had ever had sex with. I thought we were so close. I wanted to blame John for this, but Emily was the one at fault. She was a bitch for dropping me like she did.

Still, I was obsessed with her. I spent days after that crying alone in my room. I almost left college, but I struggled along until Thanksgiving week break.

At home, my misery just seemed to increase. I cried privately every chance I got, Saturday through Wednesday, barely eating a thing. I tried hiding my pain from my family as best I could. It wasn't hard to do. They were all so wrapped up in the holiday.

I even thought they were too wrapped up in it all to see that I had packed on some serious poundage. But Mom mentioned my weight gain finally on Wednesday.

"I'm glad to see you've filled out a little," she said. "But you've barely eaten since being home. You need to eat."

"A little? Mom, I've gained 25 pounds. I weigh almost 210."

"Well, you carry it well," she said, heading back to the kitchen to bake some pies.

I looked down at my bulging belly. I felt it rumble with hunger. And I resolved right then and there that I was going to just eat as much as I could, get as fat as I could, really show Emily that she wasn't going to keep me from getting fatter. If anything, I would show her just how fat I could become.

My family always went to Grandma's on Thanksgiving Eve. It was our tradition. My parents and members of my extended family are almost all overweight or obese. Some are a bit less chunky, but they are the minority. With my athletic build and slender waistline, I had always been the thinnest one in the family.

"No more," I said to myself. "Emily has freed me to grow as fat as my fattest relatives."

Arriving at Grandma's house, we were immediately greeted by all the cousins, uncles, aunts and others. We sat down at a large and overflowing table. It was so beautiful. I had never noticed just how wonderful the aromas of the foods were at Thanksgiving, and how beautiful the colors of everything, all golden yellow and brown.

Everyone picked up serving bowls and platters, and we all started passing food around. Turkey, cornbread stuffing, corn, butter, biscuits, oyster stuffing, mashed potatoes, more butter, cornbread pudding, green bean casserole, macaroni and cheese, and yum, the gravy. Good gravy! Delicious gravy!

I felt I could not get enough. I filled my plate over and over again. Everyone just moaned and groaned at the pleasures of all those fine tastes coming together. By the time I had finished my third plate, my belly had bulged out bigger than it ever had before.

"Take it easy, stud," Uncle Lou said. "You're liable to explode!"

I just patted my belly and smiled at him. Other family members made comments about how good I looked, and I basked in their compliments. "College must agree with you," Aunt Elsie said, reaching out and lovingly pinching my fat rolls.

I felt like I was about to explode out of my jeans. Grandma always knew what to do. Mid-meal, she helped me to my feet and took me into one of the guest bedrooms where she kept a chest of clothing. "Here's some things your dad used to wear," she said. "Help yourself." She left so I could change

I found a pair of rather large blue sweatpants and put them on. They felt so comfy. I put my jeans in the chest. Maybe someone else might need them someday. I felt like I was shedding my old skin and not looking back.

I thought about what sarcastic insult might come from Emily's lips if she saw me like this, and I just felt like saying, "I'll be as fat as I want to be, bitch!" I smiled at my imaginary conversation with her desperately trying to get me to stop eating.

Back in the dining room for dessert, I eyed the pies - apple, chocolate, pumpkin - and the homemade chocolate chip cookies, fudge brownies, cobbler. I got some of each dessert, then came back for seconds then thirds, piling more and more on. It just seemed so glorious at that moment to just eat and eat and eat.

I even had a contest with my cousin Sherry, trying to see who could eat more. I won.

Sherry had a friend from high school with her. They were seniors, and her friend Amanda was very cute, with just a little chub herself, not fat but pleasingly plump. As Sherry admitted defeat, Amanda just looked at my belly with admiration and shook her head, saying, "How do you pack it all in?" She stood, came over to me and patted my bulging gut.

This is a girl I could love, I thought to myself before heading back for more dessert. There was a football game on in the other room, and usually, I would be in there watching, but talking with Amanda and Sherry - and eating all I could hold - seemed much more interesting than football this year.

Stuffed to the gills, I still was eating as the girls headed upstairs to go to sleep. Grandma's was a place where everyone could stay with some in sleeping bags and others on high old beds in small third-floor rooms.

After a while, I retired myself, and I soon was in a dreamy sleep, dreaming of all kinds of delicious goodies and my belly just growing bigger and bigger. In the dream, Emily came forward with a pin as if she was going to pop my belly, and I became scared. I awoke with a start. It was still dark, and I checked my watch. 2:45 a.m. My stomach grumbled hungrily, and I had no reason to keep from reacting to it.