Chapter 4 - second chances

A few weeks on a poor diet and I lost weight. I didn't have a scale, but I'm sure I lost at least 10 pounds.

One day I came home, and my parents looked at me strangely.

"You have a guest in your room," my mom said.

I walked in and saw Mr. Alvarez sitting on the edge of my bed.

"Did you hear that Bella got the role?" he said.

"I heard," I said. "Why are you here?"

"Bella needs you. She won't admit, but she'll need you by her side."

"And you flew all the way out here to tell me that?"

He hesitated.

"You know, at first everyone thought you were prettier than your sister."

"What?"

&quo t;And you are more naturally beautiful than her," he said. "But you aren't cut out for the life of an actress." He looked down at my still plump belly.

"Are you going to call me fat now too, just like your precious little nephew?"

"No. Just please come to Los Angeles. You can fly back with me... please?"

His words sounded pleading and I didn't understand, but he could be quite persuasive. So I flew back with him later that night.

I met his wife on the plane. She was a pretty blonde, but was quite chubby and certainly weighed more than me. I pretended to be asleep and not hear them fight the whole back to L.A.

Mr. Alvarez put me up in L'Ermitage hotel, which was close to Bella's. He told me she'd be too busy with filming for a few weeks to see me, but she'd call when ready. In the meantime, he gave me the name of a driver I could use to get around and a credit card to use however I wanted. The first thing I noticed was that the room service menu was amazing. They had a wood oven baked sea bass, a 35 day aged new york strip, main lobster, spicy porchetta pizza, Gnocchi with smoked mozzerala, and Risotto with black truffle. If that wasn't enough, for dessert there was plenty to choose from, with Nutella pannacotta, cappuccino tiramisu, and salted caramel chocolate cake, just to pick a few.

For a brief minute I considered trying to limit my eating. Then I laughed, realizing that my dream had come true, not just once, but now twice. I could eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted again. I wasn't sure how long I would have this opportunity. There was nothing more to consider. I promised myself to never let doubtful voices hold me back, and to live this dream to it's fullest. I'd deny myself nothing.

The first three days I lounged in bed and tried every item on the room service menu. I tried every dessert a few times to decide on my favorite. It was the fresh baked chocolate chip cookies with stracciatella cheese. The third night, I ordered a bottle of wine to the room. I thought they'd card me and figure out I was only 18, but it worked and I drank the whole bottle and got delightfully drunk for the first time. I ate a whole chocolate cake in a drunken stupor and fell asleep giggling, the world spinning.

The next few weeks were a blur. Each night I called the driver, grabbed Mr. Alvarez's credit card and headed off on a culinary adventure. I tried Spago, Kogi, and Spice table all in one night. Name dropping Mr. Alavarez got me reservations wherever I wanted to go. I can't even remember all the places I tried: Melisse, Bestia, Cut, Jitlada, Baco Mercat, Sea Harbor.

Oh, I was in love.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't above still stopping in for a dirty pleasure (or five) at McDonalds or Burger King for lunch most days.

One day I surprised even my own self. In bed I ate a room service breakfast of Brioche French Toast, a croissant, Eggs Benedict, Apple smoked bacon, hash browns, and a smoked salmon plate. For lunch I ate a big mac, fries and McFlurry from McDonalds and a three piece extra crispy chicken, potato wedges, mac and cheese and slice of chocolate pie from KFC. While getting ready for dinner, I put on a dress that felt very tight (it hadn't when I bought it a week ago) and munched down a bag of Doritos, a snickers bar and two ho hos.

For dinner I had the five course tasting menu at spagos at 5:00, a 16 course small bites menu at Melisse at 6:30, and a 17 course tasting menu at Providence at 9:00. I could barely move when I got home but drank a bottle of wine with a plate of fresh warm cookies and ice cream until I felt nauseous.

Never had I felt so full. My stomach seemed to yell at me and I took large breaths to steady myself. The feeling was terrible in some ways, the nausea coming in waves. But mostly it felt exhilarating. I had been full before, but never felt that it was physically impossible to eat anything else. I considered trying to eat more to see what would happen, but knew very clearly that I would vomit if I ate a single bite of anything else. I was surprised that I managed not to vomit anyways. I lay in bed and pictured myself at the head of a large luxurious buffet as an ancient queen; eating and eating and eating until my belly hung far off my of lap. I pleasured myself and fell asleep feeling wonderful.

Little did I know that sometimes dreams can blur more into reality than we'd like...