Chapter 1 - Happy by The Rookie

Happy. The one thing you can say has been consistent your whole life. You've always been happy. And there's no taking that for granted. You've always lived a charmed life; loving parents, a brilliant baby sister, B+ student her whole life, college paid for, settling into a nice desk job at a pedestrian's office back home. Bad things never seem to happen to you or anyone close. Maybe a little misfortune here and there but nothing too inconvenient. You quickly became the favorite at work with patients and staff, especially for organizing all of the holiday parties and pot lucks. You know everyone's birthday, everyone's kids, what grade they're in, extended family members and so forth. A busy but wonderful first year in seemed to be a projection of her future at this office. That one year turned into two, those 2 years turned into 5, those 5 into 10, and then...

[🎶WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE, WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPEL-]

You are quick to turn your alarm off. The last hour has been nothing but tossing and turning so snoozing didn't make sense. You look over to see the other side of the bed empty while simultaneously being slammed with a barrage of magic breakfast smells; bacon, French toast, cheesy Scrambled Eggs, potatoes O'Brien, sausage and fresh fruit. Anyone would be delighted to wake up to these comforting smells, but you sigh and begin to collect yourself. Then just like every morning, it takes a few moments before your mind connects with rest of your body. And every morning it feels like you feel just a fraction fatter than the day. After 30 years at the same office (now as an office manager with a significantly higher paycheck, also thanks to seniority) 28 years of marriage, 4 pregnancies (in less than a decade, to include a set of twins), those fractions have started to add up. Your slow but immense inflation of fat can be traced back as far as college when your first began to yo-yo. Luckily, it was only short lived and your weight stabilized until it was time to collect on its hefty inevitability. What people don't realize is that one of the things you'd looked forward to the most about being married was as an excuse to be fat. Being a homemaker, a mother, these were all legitimate excuses to carry a significant amount of extraAfter 30 years weight and congregate with those similar to her, both in peer group and size. After the first pregnancy, you made a half ass attempt at working out but you couldn't convince yourself that it was an excuse to buy workout clothes that she couldn't see using longterm. The women in your family were mostly overweight to obese, with a lot of them fluctuating in weight. But as the years went by, it was clear that you weren't losing weight and the chances of you ever losing weight were rapidly declining. And your years at the pedestrian office have had an impact on most of the young women who were grateful to be employed with us. The office even developed a reputation for growing nurses and potlucks galore because you couldn't help but find an excuse to celebrate. And celebrations always meant food and plenty of it. You grew into your role organically (as well as literally AND figuratively) as the office "Big Mama", embracing the title and living up to it and then some. As much as you love to indulge, you love to spoil just as much. Fast forward to right now; you're lazily lugging your swollen, overly fed and imbalanced carriage of fat out of bed and into the bathroom. You enjoyed being chubby and chunky and even moderately fat, as it was an excuse to eat and buy new clothes. But the years and pounds have taken their toll; making you slower and bigger and less active. The term BBW was applicable at one point, but you are now definitely into SSBBW territory. A brief glance in the mirror and you're reminded just how much you've actually gained. There's no question you're the fattest on either side of the family, in your office and in the neighborhood. Your mind tries to reconcile the idea that you've gained 100lbs when in reality it's at least 200lbs you've gained since starting at the pediatrician office. A good amount of that weight was backfire weight as well from marrying a handsomely chubby man hoping to put weight on him instead of the other way around. While it worked initially, he only gained a fraction of what she did and never seems to break past it, no matter how much he ate. All of your kids are either self disciplined when it comes to food or rely on supersonic metabolisms, both for the most part. And here you are, putting away thousands of calories a day and burning less than hundreds, creating a matronly fortress of baby weight, leftovers, brunches, late night fridge raids and countless sugary caffienated drinks that you swear get you through your day. While the warm soapy water cascades down your swollen, stacked rolls, inflated breasts, a belly that can pass for being in the third trimester, tree trunk thighs from waddle worthy hips down to your plump calves and chubby toes, you realize that you've come to a cross roads. Reaching 400lbs was not only very possible, but almost inevitable. Now was the time to make one of the biggest decisions of your life. On one hand, you know you would try to have to lose at least 100lbs. Not skinny, just more in shape and healthier. Grandchildren seemed to be in the near future and how much fun can a fat grandma be if she can't go anywhere? You liked routine and knew how to do in a healthy way. But it was hard to deny that hubby seemed to cum harder and harder the fatter you got. Always offering to bring you snacks, keep you from getting off the couch. Hell, even breakfast in bed started to become a weekend ritual. You never indulged in any vice; a beer here and there and a vape pen that was mostly CBD for sleep and elbow pain from and old car accident. But food? You're a slave. And your husband is mother superior. How would he feel if you broke 400? 500? 600 or more? Would he leave? Would he embrace it? You can't put it off anymore. Staring at your naked, obese frame in the mirror, a coin flip seemed like the most fair way to decide it. Reckless? Possibly. But you had never been so unsure of anything in your life. Naked and moist with steam and residual shower water, you flip a coin. The coin seems to stay in the air for 5 minutes. During that stretch of time, an epiphany struck. No matter what, you've always been happy. Not once has anyone ever made you feel bad about your weight, no one has ever lectured you and made you feel like your weight made a difference. And you can't remember a time when you weren't happy. Did you really need to derail your current path? Would it be worth it to sacrifice the food who's power you've underestimated your whole life? Heads meant you would get in shape and tails meant you let your heifer fly free. The cold quarter landed on your chubby wrist; goosebumps invade your body as you take a deep breath. A wave of peace follows and despite not looking at the coin, you make your decision. Food makes you happy, your husband makes you happy, your life makes you happy; why change that? The faint smirk leaving your face is a sign if relief that you're never gonna have to worry about dieting again. Plus, it was about time to go shopping again and that is also something that makes you happy. You never go to work completely stuffed, but today you've got your maternity scrubs pulled out and you might reach 5000 calories before lunch. Maybe being happy is the right choice. And even though you never looked at what the coin decided, you'll never have hanging on your tails end. ;)