Chapter 1- double date

Note from the author: This was meant to be an October Halloween story but my girlfriend dumped me and I lost interest in everything other than clocking in at work, sleeping and eating. The feederism takes a while to develop, sorry.
—-
“Many investigators wondered how a dominant woman like Cindy might choose a controlling partner like Mathew. So criminal psychologist were consulted-“

There was an annoying tapping on my car window, I paused my podcast. It was Mandy. Her once cherry red hair was poorly maintained and faded. It reminded me of a fabric rose from an abandoned headstone bouquet. The red had been bleached by the sun and discolored by the elements. Had she never used red shampoo and conditioner before? Maybe she just didn’t own a mirror. She tapped on the window again and pointed to the lock on my door. I flipped the automatic unlocking mechanism unleashing her chaos into my my space. There were few people I liked less than Mandy.

She slammed her boots up on the dash and her leather jacket squeaked against the back of the passenger side seat.

“Listening to your creepy murder podcasts again,” she slammed the car door behind her. I involuntarily jumped from the slam, and my phone slipped from my grasp. Seizing her opportunity Mandy grabbed it.

“Ya know, my lit professor said that stories we listen to the most contain what we are missing from our lives. You wishing you could murder someone,” she smiled self contented with her clever little snub. I maintained eye contact along with an unamused look with her until the eye contact became uncomfortable enough she lost her nerve. She pressed the play button on my phone.

“Oh come on this is an old case and the psychology they are citing is outdated and sexist,” I whined hoping she would turn it off.

“Oh good I’m taking psychology right now maybe this will help me,” she replied unrelenting.

The podcast went on to detail a dominance scale for both men and women. The psychologist who developed the theory believed that all women liked being subservient. However, more dominant women had a more active sex life, more partners and engaged in sex that was “freakier”. Relationships are more stable when partners are from the same level. People who engage someone from a different dominance level have a psychological problem. This was supposed to explain why a controlling psychopath woman might gravitate to a dominant psychopath man instead of a guy she could control. This lead to couples that might rape and murder people together.

Finally Mandy paused the podcast.
“Must be hard for non-dominant women like you and Kristy to know the dominant guys are all out of your league,” Mandy prattled off in her typical crazy manner.

“I’m really not worried about it,” I was wishing I’d never unlocked my door. I could have listened to my podcast in the library,

“It sounds like the dominant guys are the top of the food chain, and most sought after guys,” she argued.

“I’ve never been into that. Didn’t you hear what happened to me Tuesday,” I paused.

She shook her head no. Every so often a couple of the guys from the football team would get bored. They’d pick a homely girl to flirt with. All of them would be in on it and they would see how long they could string her along.
“I don’t really know the names of the guys on the football team but they tried that fake flirting thing,” I looked down at my feet.

“It’s like they could sense I was disgusted with them,” I looked out the window of the car. I’d never really liked muscular guys tracing all the way back to my Ken doll when I was a kid. What I couldn’t understand is why these guys took my disinterest so hard. For a long time I’d watched them fake flirt with several girls. Many of my friends were attentive to the advances, and gushed about the encounter for weeks. I’d seen popular girls play hard to get and act disinterested. The guys didn’t seem bothered by that. They’d even tried the trick on a friend who didn’t like guys. Her disinterested didn’t particularly upset them either. So why when I glared them down and told them to go away did I get a different reaction?

“They took my art portfolio and flushed a couple pieces,” I kept looking out the window. Next time I would play dumb and try to emulate my friends. Next time they would leave me alone imagining I spent weeks gushing over the encounter. Next time I wouldn’t be the causality of a frail ego.

Mandy snort laughed imaging charcoal sketches filling up the school toilets. I wasn’t really surprised. I knew we weren’t really friends. She was here to use me. I was letting her because I’d get something in return.

“Well it’s too bad for Kristy she isn’t more dominant. Maybe if she was her boyfriend wouldn’t be cheating on her,” Mandy smiled proudly.
I felt my stomach do a flip liked I’d gone down a roller coaster. It was so hard to know with her what was a lie and what was true. I looked anxiously out the window. When I looked down I realized I was gripping my steering wheel too hard.
“ Drew and I hooked up on the biology trip to the Galapagos,” Mandy’s smile was gone when I looked back at her.

“I mean can you really blame him,” Mandy gestured to her body which was partially sprawled on my dashboard. I wondered again if she saw what I saw when she looked in a mirror. There wasn’t exactly anything wrong with her. She just didn’t have the right amount of polish for someone with her attitude.

I still couldn’t speak from
Being stunned. Mandy elbowed my side.
“Come on don’t be upset about it,” she prodded me further.
“Don’t tell me you care that much about her,” she continued.

She looked at me and I knew my face was a dead give away. I couldn’t hide how I really felt to save my life.
“She’s my best friend,” I croaked.
Mandy pursed her lips annoyed. It clicked in my mind that similar to her not seeing herself for what she was maybe she also didn’t see me being friendly for what it was. My insides flashed hot then cold with anger. Did she really think she’d fooled me? That I was so desperate for a friend I mistook her rare and shallow visits as treasured pieces of a relationship. Was she so out of touch with reality she thought a forced friendly conversation every few months was enough to have built some kind of emotional repertoire with me?
“Surely you’ve got to be a little bit jealous. Every guy she befriends falls in love with her. Any one you choose will always want her more than you,” Mandy pushed.

I knew she was right. Kristy was beautiful and every sad, awkward, nerdy boy she found and brought into her friend group always fell for her after a while. How could they not? The prettiest girl they’d ever met had their same hobbies and she wanted to be their friend. In her naivety she lavished each of her outcasts with genuine care and attention. It was like watching ships smash themselves into a siren cove. It was hard not to be jealous but I’d enjoyed the same genuine friendship and connection she offered them. After years of watching shipwrecks I knew she really didn’t mean to do it. She reminded me of a real life Disney main character. Always feeling like a side character. It was depressing but I couldn’t be anything but loyal.
I shook my head to Mandy.

“She’s encouraging the rumors that you two have a thing to make Drew jealous,”Mandy pushed harder. My chest sank. It was hard to know when Mandy was lying. Sadly, events in the previous days confirmed her accusation.
I looked anxiously out the window at the parking lot. I grimaced when I saw Kristy walking through the parking lot.

“Here she comes,” Mandy giggled snidely.
“Annie-poo, Annie-poo,” Mandy mocked loudly as Kristy closed in on my vehicle. The wind picked up a couple strands of her blonde hair as I rolled the window down.

“Hey, Annie-poo,” Kristy smiled. I was used to this nickname as she’d called me by it for years.
“Oh Hey, Mandy you’re here too,” she smiled. Mandy smiled back while she repositioned herself and scratched her waxy black boots on my dash.

“What are you guys up to,” Kristy leaned into the car window. I felt my face get pale.
“Oh Anna-Banana here was just teaching me about some criminal psychology and I was relating it to the animal behaviors I saw on my trip to the Galapagos,” Mandy quickly filled in.

Kristy gave us both a squinty smile that stretched across her two perfect pink lips.

“Wow you guys are so smart,” Kristy giggled.
Almost as if on cue Mandy swung open my car door and hopped out.
“Hey, I see Sam across the parking lot, I’m gonna catch up with him,” Mandy called out and waved as she walked off.

“I need to ask you something,”Kristy said once Mandy was out of ear shot.
“I promised Mandy she and I would get ready for the Halloween party together before we meet up with everyone else. She finally wants to be my friend again, and she’s always so busy,” Kristy looked at me her face hopeful.

I forced a smile. “That’s okay we’ll see each other at the party, plus Mandy is better with stage makeup,” I shrugged nonchalantly.

Mandy was right I did listen to true crime because it filled a void in my life. That void was a longing for truth. Detectives in the stories I liked unravel criminal’s motive. Suddenly, the community sees the true nature of the perpetrator. I couldn’t help but wish Kristy and everyone else would see Mandy for who she really is.
—
I leaned across the library counter.
“Hey Sara, you went on the Galapagos trip,” I rested my cheek in my hand. The pretty little librarian tucked a strand of dark hair behind her ear. Her warm chestnut eyes sparkled.

“I was,” she smiled back. The bright white of her teeth emphasized the contrast of her warm brown sugar coloring of her skin,
“Did you see Mandy and Drew hanging out a lot?” I shifted my eyes as I spoke as if it was inconsequential.

“Mmm no, I don’t think so,” Sara looked off as if she was recalling.

“She just said maybe her and Drew had gotten really close. Maybe even had some kind of thing…,” I trailed off nervously.

“Oh god,” Sara muttered. Under her breath she muttered something about her really being crazy.

“No, she was my cruise roommate and she was with me the entire trip. I’m gonna have a word with her,” Sara massaged her forehead in frustration.

I grimaced shyly feeling bad for causing trouble. While I enjoyed some drama I knew the studious part-time librarian, full-time student didn’t need any in her life. I hurried out of the library to my next class.

After class I sat at an empty table on the outskirts of cafeteria re-reading my class notes. The sound of the bottom of a chair scrapping the floor interrupted me from my thoughts.
It was Kristy sitting down across from me. I gave her a small smile.
“How’s it going,” I leaned in a little.

“Do you think Drew still likes me, he’s been hanging out with this other girl a lot,” Kristy looked down at the table. I felt the color drain out of my face. Was it possible Mandy wasn’t lying?
“Other girl,” I coughed.
“Yeah, her name’s Marissa. Drew, he’s been on the lacrosse team for a while and she’s on track. They’re like best friends all the sudden. They work out together,” as she spoke I started to feel my pulse going back to normal.
I turned on my phone. To be honest I didn’t keep up with Who’s-who of the school.

“Show me her page,” I flickered to a social media website before handing Kristy my phone. When she handed me the phone back I saw a twig like girl in photos with blonde highlights and a passion for athleticism. Gym selfies, vacation and girls night out photos. There were a couple pictures of her with what I assumed was her own boyfriend.

“She looks like a boring basic bitch,” I sighed.
“I’m sure you don’t need to be worried about her. They probably just work out together. It looks like she has a boyfriend,” I continued.

“I still wish Drew would stop working out. I miss the way he used to be,” she muttered. I nodded , I could never argue with that sentiment. I don’t think she’d ever mean it the way I would.

I saw the boyfriend in question from across the cafeteria. I remembered the way he’d been before. I remembered the nerdy smiley guy. He was tall now and his shoulders were broad. His hair was more manicured and he’d traded out glasses of contact lenses. He gave me a familiar grimace that I remembered from a couple days ago when he’d seen Kristy hug me in the hall way. I felt a chill go down my spine. I had not been consulted on the “make Drew jealous” scheme and if I had been I wouldn’t have gone for it.
He approached our table and started talking to Kristy. I went back to my notes for a couple minutes as they got caught up on the previous events of the other’s day. I could tell when they were together everyone else faded into the background. I didn’t really want to interrupt. Ironically, it seemed as these thoughts ran across my mind an interruption presented itself.

“Hey, Annie-poo,” Mandy screeched in a shrill mocking sort of tone. As she did this she grabbed around the tops of my shoulders near my neck making me anxiously jump and shrug my shoulders.
“Wow someone’s jumpy today,” she muttered prying her fingers out from my scrunched up shoulders.

“Hey Drew, I just wanted to let you know I’m stealing your girlfriend tonight,” Mandy continued.

Drew looked down at Kristy, and she nodded.

“We’re gonna get ready together so you don’t have to pick me up. I’ll meet you at the Fair,” Kristy spoke softly as she explained.
Drew nodded his expression was blank.
“It will be like a double date, Drew and Kristy…,” Mandy trailed off. I felt relieved maybe Mandy had a date lined up.
“Me and Annie-poo over here,” as Mandy said it she pinched my cheek. Usually it was Kristy who pinched my cheek. It was one of her idiosyncrasies. I think she genuinely meant I’d as a compliment. She usually did it gently saying something along the lines of “you look cute today Annie-poo”. When Mandy did it she pinched hard and I had to bite my lip not to yelp.
I didn’t immediately panic. I had been on several “double dates” with people from our friend group. Usually about 5 minutes into the event they ditched me. The worry didn’t set in until Mandy leaned down into my ear and whispered, “I know you’ve been talking to Sarah about the Galapagos trip.”
—
I waited with Drew by bales of hay stacked to create the fall festival entrance. I looked at him. When I looked over again I know he saw me but he didn’t acknowledge me. I wonder what he was thinking. Maybe he thought I was like Mandy. That any friendliness towards him might be a cover for some deeper romantic passion. Maybe after he’d worked so hard on himself physically and socially he saw me as the loser holding his girlfriend back. I pulled out my phone to avoid the awkward silence. It didn’t matter what he thought of me so long as I didn’t lose my best friend.
When I looked up I saw Mandy and Kristy. Kristy’s expression was marred with a hint of embarrassment. Her stance was awkward which I assumed was because her costume was revealing. Halloween was still a ways off but she and Mandy had dressed up.
It was clear from the retro cheerleader outfits they were going for a Betty and Veronica look. Mandy, god bless her, had hidden her hideously maintained red hair under a black wig. I suppose the irony was Kristy was dressed as Betty. While as far as personality and looks went it made sense. In the end Kristy had gotten the guy so I felt like the costumes should have been switched.
As they approached Mandy coached Kristy to do a couple cheerleader-like moves with her. To my dismay while no where near as pretty as Kristy, Mandy was much more competent. Mandy had been in theater. While I’m sure most of that time was spent studying how to act like Lady Macbeth or Iago some of it was devoted to dancing. It was obvious she knew how to arch and flex every last one of her muscles in perfect harmony. Next to her Kristy sort of floundered about. I couldn’t exactly be surprised. Kristy was thin and naturally prettier but spent most of her time playing video games. I had hoped I could just ditch my “date” but it was time to intervene.

“Well Drew has got his girlfriend back, so I guess that means you owe me a date,” I forcefully linked arms with Mandy while looking down at her. I felt her squirm and I silently squeezed her arm with mine.

Maybe for the first time in all the years I’d known her the normally oblivious Kristy caught on. She gave me a smug look that matched the one plastered on my face.
“Drew would you win me one of those big teddy bears,” Kristy wrapped her arm around his toned biceps. Drew stoically nodded in his normal fashion and they were off.

Once they were out of view I unlocked arms with Mandy.
“You know he’s tired of her he just doesn’t have the nerve to dump her,”Mandy prattled off angrily.

I rolled my eyes.
“I thought you wanted to go on a double date with me, why are you still talking about Drew,” the words came out sickeningly sweet without an ounce of sincerity.

When I saw the look of exasperation on her face I couldn’t help but grin.
“Hurry up and pick something for us to do.”I continued.

“Fine, I’ve got an idea but there is no way you’ll go for it,” Mandy responded.

“Try me.”
————

Mandy fooled with the ring of a keys as I stood watch.
“You know you should of worn a Jughead costume,” she called out as keys clinked.

“I think I know what you’re implying but the all American girl next door just isn’t my type,” I responded as I craned my neck anxiously searching for a sign we might get caught.

“ Kristy isn’t your type,” Mandy probed.

“I can’t see myself with someone more oblivious than I am,” I sighed. Mandy paused and suddenly the silence became uncomfortable.

“Got it,” the creak of an opening door echoed down the empty dark campus. When I looked up Mandy had already disappeared inside. I looked one last time both ways down the empty hall before I followed behind her.

“Doctor Carlton is a good lecturer and professor. I dunno why you want to do this,” I whispered as I stepped into the college craft and shop of oddities.

“She’s on the team that decides what role student get in theater productions and I know she decided against me,” Mandy retorted.

She ran her fingers over the the spines of books in the bookcase.
“I just want a free gift as pay back,” she looked over her shoulder at me.

“Whatever,” I sighed flopping down into a chair.

“So if I put you in a room with bathing suit models none of the guys or girls in that room would cause you to get hot under the collar,” Mandy rummaged through a bin of folk art dolls as she spoke.

“Conventionally attractive people don’t turn me on,” I shrugged.

“Must suck,” Mandy responded.

“Maybe you just have a superiority complex. You see something different and assume that your way is better. I wouldn’t ever change the way I am,” I fiddled uncomfortably with a book.

“Well even those meatheads who flushed part of your portfolio know something is wrong with you,” she responded coldly.

I felt the sting of the insult on my nose and my eyes watered a little.

“Really? Well there has been something I’d been meaning to ask you,” I fought back the wavering sound in my voice.