The Fattest Space Empress (preview)

Chapter 1- Strange News

On a far moon, in the Distill Constellation, an average brown haired and skinned woman with dark tattoo arm sleeves works in in a spaceship bay. She isn’t fat. No, rather she is curvy. She has big tits, curvy hips, and a nice ass. Her arms are surprisingly tight.

Around her curvy hips sit her black mechanic’s suit. She’s a little known, but popular for the sector worker. No one knew quite where she had come from. Her family came when she was a kid and she had grown up, running around with the local kids and grew up around the spaceships until she herself learned from the best how to fix them.

“Happy Birthday to Jude!” sings a burly older man with a long salt and pepper beard with a skinny old woman, grinning. Between them, they held a hefty cake as the crew surrounded them and clapped as Jude pushed herself away from the ship on a small dolly and sat up grinning.

“You guys, you shouldn’t have!” She says blushing. Another middle aged man offered a hand and pulled her up to her feet. Most of the circle are men, only because on this moon it is still a male dominated profession since they are still fairly young. The older woman pulls herself away and hugs her.

“Who would do it if not us, baby,” she says and Jude feels something rip apart inside of her again. Reminding her of the fire that had killed both of her parents in her sleep while she was away for two weeks to go to a musical festival on the other side of the moon. That had happened five years ago and Day and Bill had pretty much raised her since then.

She squeezes Day back. Her body presses into the smaller frail one. Then, she kisses the wrinkly cheek, before pulling away and beaming at everyone else.

Soon there is a huge slice of double fudge and peanut butter cake in front of her. Plus her second family sit laughing and telling god-awful stories about her shenanigans. Soon a second cake was in her gut and her sleeveless shirts pushed out. The flat surface rounded by glutting of cake and beer. Day pats it with a grin.

“Good girl! I put the leftovers in your fridge for this week. Don’t forget to come over for dinner. I’m making your favorite,” she says, always spoiling her adopted girl. Jude never minded the extra attention, in fact she revels in it.

She goes back to work despite feeling a bit wore out from all the extra sugar, but manages to finishes her shift. She catches the hover tram to Day and Bill’s bungalow and slams down two pieces of lasagna, before calling the day quits and retiring to her room above the garage.

She sits eating another piece of cake on patched and ancient couch watching old reruns of old alien shows. A little after midnight, she’s snoring with her shirt pulled up to her belly button when someone knocks on her door. The heavy lifting of her job usually keeping her thin and trim despite the occasional excess.

Groaning, she rolls up reluctantly and pads barefoot across the hardwood floor to answer the door. On the other side is a slim woman in a fancy leather coat and slacks. Jude squints at her. Lifting an eyebrow, she folds her grease stained arms and cocks a hip.

“Who are you?” Jude demands.

“Your cousin. I have something to tell you. It’s important. Can you let me in?” She says. Sharp brown eyes look Jude over. Her belly is still peaking out, but she doesn’t notice as she steps aside and rubs her head. The reason why is the six locally brewed beer bottles that roll around on the floor.

This mysterious cousins brushes off the crumbs on the futon and turns mute on the tv since it is the only thing lit in the darkened room. Jude walks over to the mini fridge and pulls out more beer, offering one to the strange woman. Despite the grimace, the woman takes it and tries it.

“What’s your name? Cousin, I have never met,” Jude says. She scratches her belly. The woman just shakes her head.

“I’m Quinn,” she says, setting aside the beer on a side table covered in candy bar wrappers, beer cans and bottles that haven’t been picked up. She turns away from it, crossing her legs. “What do you go by?”

“Jude,” she responds and Quinn nods. “So….what are you doing you here?” Quinn smirks. Her makeup spot on despite it being after midnight.

“Right. So you’re actually the empress’s daughter Gwendolyn,” Quinn says. Jude snorts and begins to full belly laugh, spraying beer across the floor onto her small tv. Quinn waits for her to stop. Then, she takes a deep breath. “I know this is unbelievable, but your mother hid you to keep one of her daughters safe. You’re actually a twin. The first born Veronica…” Quinn pauses as her voice falters.

Jude sees her face crumple and the fact that she is trying not to cry. Sitting up, Jude squeezes her shoulder, even though she doesn’t know this stranger.

“Look, I heard she was assassinated. I’m sorry. It must have been hard on you guys. I mean, it seems like—“ Jude waves at the tv. “That you guys are really close.” She, like a million other people in the galaxy, loves to watch the dorky series about the adventures of the empress and her family. Usually, it was more about the family than the empress herself since she was busy running the galaxy.

Quinn wipes away a tear and nods.

“Jude, I’m serious though. You are the next in line for the throne. You can talk to your caretakers. Aunt Luciana has already made the arrangements with them when your original caretakers died. She gave you up to protect you and it’s time for you to come home now.”

“This is my home and I’m drunk,” Jude says with a chuckle, drinking more beer. “Trust me. You don’t want me to be your whatever…next in line person. I’m a damn good mechanic and not much more.”

“That doesn’t really matter,” Quinn says with a shrug. “We can train you and it’s not like your mom is such a badass. She’s tough as nails and I think she will be alive forever, but she still needs you. Veronica was going to marry into a family that will prevent a massive civil war that could tear the galaxy apart.”

“Oh shit, I watched that story arc. Veronica was going to marry…oh fuck, that really hot alien girl from that family that owns half the Galactic Merchant's Guild.”

“That woman is an Avath and her name is Theodora L’vaus of the T’polaris Family.”

“Um, so you want me to marry the hottest single woman in the known galaxy? Have you literally seen me?” Jude says and waves at her body. Quinn sighs and shakes her head.

“It’s not a big deal. You’re not that bad looking really. Give you a shower, ease up on the beers…” she says with a little smile.

“Are you saying I’m fat?” Jude says with a smirk. Quinn’s eyes open wide.

“N-no, I’m totally body positive. I’m sure Basilissa Theodora will love you. All arranged marriages are awkward, don’t you worry about a thing. We’ll get everything sorted out.”

“Look, I’m talking to Day and Bill to verify your wacko story and then we’ll talk,” Jude says, wobbling up to her feet. Quinn shoots up and catches her elbow so she doesn’t fall.

They proceed down to the kitchen where Day and Bill are waiting with steaming cups of tea. Jude collapses into a curved back chair and groans.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me, guys! This is sort of important information that my actual mom is the Empress of the known galaxy,” Jude says, folding her arms across her ample chest.

Day looks to Bill who leans forward on his tattooed arms.

“Look, kid, we wanted to, but the will from your foster parents told us not to tell you. I mean, in an ideal world, your sister would have never died and you would have never needed to know. Why would you need to know that you were the empress’s daughter.”

“If you had let it slip, Jude would have been assassinated quickly,” Quinn says with a shake of her head. “You have no survival training. No honor guard, nothing. The whole point of hiding you was to make sure no one ever found out and you could live a normal life unless something happened.”

Jude mutters under her breath.

“Fuck. So if I don’t—“

“You don’t really have a choice at the moment,” Quinn says. “I’m trained in five different weaponless martial arts. I’m pretty sure I can apprehend you and bring you in without a problem, but I’d much rather you come peacefully since we’re family and all.” Jude rolls her eyes.

“I was going to say if I don’t go with you the whole galaxy will go into a civil war and possibly the government will collapse. You do know I’m anti-monarch, right?”

“It doesn’t really matter. You can talk to parliament and try to upend the whole system which I highly discourage because it might lead to a massive civil war which will leave colonies like this one without needed resources to survive. But currently, you wouldn’t have any real power until your mother passed away and depended on how you adjust to life as royalty most of your power could be diverted to your future partner who has much more training than you and would be quite happy to lead the galaxy in your stead.”

“Well, she probably will have to. I don’t imagine you can train me to be an empress,” Jude mutters. “I’m a fucking mechanic.”

“You can still work on ships as a hobby, but you will have to participate in royal life,” Quinn says frankly. “This is honestly neither here nor there. We will train you to be the future empress and diplomat whether you like or believe it or not..”

Bill rolls his eyes and Day sort of sighs.

“Would it be some other child,” Day says. “This girl is the most stubborn girl I have ever met. We love her to pieces don’t get us wrong, but you tell her one thing and she will go and do the complete opposite.”

“She doesn’t mince words either,” Bill rumbles. “Us on Baulder’s Moon have always been a bit rough around the edges.”

“The training will have to do. Who knows she might become a fan favorite with the outer colonies,” Quinn says. “Imagine what that will be like having one of your own up on the screen.” She smiles at them and Jude groans, seeing no hope in getting out of this mess as her caretaker’s faces glow with pride.

“Make us proud, Jude,” Day says and Bill claps her on the back.

“Give ‘em hell,” he nearly roars.

“Damn it.”

After hugs and kisses, Quinn takes her back up to the garage to pack her meager belongings, trying to assure her that she will get whatever she wants once they arrive to their home planet Mysia. With a small oil stained duffle and her favorite tool bag, Jude loads up into Quinn’s fancy rental car which takes them to the space dock.

They board one of the many discreet, but one of the fancier, spaceships. There is no artificial intelligence onboard since the war over five hundred years ago against AI. It’s all basic computers that are enhanced by specially bred humans who have extraordinary powers.

Jude doesn’t fully understand the science behind it. She’s met the strange Star Travelers, but they rarely make sense and honestly, scare the shit out of her. She much prefers to work on the ships rather than talk to the people who fly them.

For what she thought of as her first time, she would be leaving her home colony. When in fact, it would be her second time traveling in space as she had once done so as a baby. Quinn shows her to the darkened bridge as Star Travelers could only see in low light settings comfortably. A genderless human sat up front connected to the computer. After Jude gave the command without even moving, the Star Traveler begins flying the ship.

Leaving the atmosphere is the hardest part of space travel. Gravity is still a bitch. Fire blurs the view screen until they escape the moon’s artificial atmosphere and soon the screen is filled with stars, other moons and a few distant planets and the Astros, their central star.

“Holy shit,” Jude mutters. Her snort nails dig into the arm rests and all of her muscles tight.

“Once we get into the In-between we can move about the ship. Here’s a vomit bag, you’ll probably need it,” Quinn says with a smirk. Jude mutters a curse as the ship begins to shake. The noise that fills the cabin is unlike any noise she has ever heard. Like all the strange sounds of the universe are drilling into her head.

The ship suddenly begins to spin. Space turns into a drug trip outside the view screen and her stomach drops as if she is at the height of a roller coaster and is dropping and spinning sharply at the same time. She vomits and vomits and vomits.

Then, the view screen closes, casting them into darkness. The cabin cools down to a low sixty degrees. The noise lessens and the feeling the world is spinning gradually subsides, but there is this feeling of…movement. It’s not exactly forward movent either. It feels more like an inner movement as if her equilibrium is slightly off.

“You survived your first adult space hop. Congratulations, Tsani Gwendolyn. You’re on your way home.”