chapter 1

It was July in the Rocky Mountains, and Adam was sweating, though it had nothing to do with the heat.

"What am I doing?" he thought, running his fingers feverishly through his hair. "She probably isn't even here anymore...."

He turned around to walk back to his car, but then stopped and wheeled around on his heel again. Indecision was killing him.

The truth was, he had thought of little but Sophie since they first met two years ago. Her face was perfectly etched in his mind, as were her hands, her curves, her laugh - completely unbidden, she would wander into his consciousness, obscuring all else. It had gotten him into trouble more than once, but it never seemed to matter. Part of him knew that the fodder he'd taken to his bed were meaningless to him-

Ouch. That thought hurt. Surely he hadn't become so cold?

He sighed and looked at the battered "Pappy's" sign above the door. It was looking a little worse for wear these days - clearly the Georgetown wind had taken its toll. Adam was absently wondering why Sophie's father hadn't fixed it yet when she stepped out.

His breath caught. She froze.

For several moments, neither of them spoke. Adam stared, not sure what to say. She looked different, a little like the wind had gotten to her, too. She was thinner, and her face looked drawn. More than anything, she looked tired, the kind of exhaustion that goes right down to the bones.

Unable to stand the silence any longer, Adam finally spoke.

"Hi, Sophie."

It was lame, he knew it, but his mind had gone blank. Sophie shifted a little, almost imperceptibly. Adam wasn't sure what that meant.

Sophie's heart was racing. What was he doing here? After all this time, to just show up? Anger and sadness hit her like a truck - after months of feeling numb, the emotion was overwhelming, coursing through her, making her face burn. Moisture stung her eyes, and it felt like her throat was closing, but to hell with letting him see her pain.

"Sophie...I..."

"Why are you here?" Her voice sounded foreign to her - flat, but forceful.

Adam was taken aback - she sounded nothing like he'd remembered. All the warmth seemed to have gone from her voice, her face, her smile.

"I..." He sighed and lowered his eyes, his shoulders sagging. Why was he here?

Sophie stayed silent, resisting the urge to tap her foot, but she was dying to hear him speak, dying to hear him say that he hadn't stopped thinking about her. She silently cursed herself - all it took was for him to appear and she forgave him? Fat chance.

"Sophie...I...I'm sorry. I'm-" Adam choked up a little. "I'm so sorry."

He looked to be crumbling from the effort of speaking to her, like the weight of his words was too much to bear. Sophie felt a flutter in her heart - her sympathetic nature was fighting its way through the hard shell she'd developed. Seeing him like this, on the verge of breaking, was almost too much for her.

But her own pain and frustration demanded an outlet.

"For what?" She knew, of course, but she had to hear him say it, had to make him say it.

He looked at her and saw something indescribable in her eyes - it was pain, perhaps, but it had morphed into something else as well - sorrow mingled with hate mingled with confusion. He swallowed and looked away.

"For coming here. It was a mistake." He turned to walk away.

Sophie felt a rush of emotion; her head spun for just a moment, and then it was gone. All the sorrow, all the anger, all the longing - it all fell away, leaving her exhausted, tattered, frail.

"I could have loved you." She spoke it so softly he barely heard.

He didn't turn around immediately; her words hung in his mind, so whispy he wasn't sure she'd spoken at all. After several seconds, he turned to look at her again.

She was crying, softly, her eyes screwed shut, looking as though some invisible string was the only thing holding her up. Her face was pink and damp, and her hair, caught in the breeze, was sticking to her face.

He stepped closer to her, taking small steps, unsure what he should do. His heart broke - had he done this to her? Could she possibly have cared so much?

Before he had time to really consider what he was doing, he closed the gap between them and pulled her into his arms.

Sophie tried to control herself, but the warmth of his embrace only made her cry harder. For several minutes, they stood on the deck of the restaurant, lost to the rest of the world.