elderman:
As a species we are still in our childhood. capitalism is the obvious extension of the a greedy child yelling "gimme, gimme, gimme" and "no I don't want to share." We cling to God like a small child clings to santa clause. Until we as a species grow beyond our need for religion and the accumulation of wealth at the expense of others, we will remain as we are. Oversimplified I grant you, but I didn't want to write an essay.

SS_FA:
Shame or no shame, it's up to her. The only thing worse than shame is having someone telling her what she should feel.

For me my 20s was the worst decade of my life, watching so many people who seemed to know what they wanted, while i was confused, etc. Once you can get past worrying that you're not like anyone else, or perhaps even figuring out how to be proud and celebrating that? you're at least pointing in the right direction. It may still be many years before you find anything like happiness, but in the meantime, cut yourself some slack. Be nice to yourself,because there are tons of people in the world who are already competing with you, or being nasty. Life is tough enough without you also making it harder.

But it's your choice ultimately how you respond.

The thing is, it's not your choice about the fetish. People toss the word "fetish" around on this site a whole lot, and for once I see someone --you--using it correctly. A fetish is not a choice, it's something imposed on you. It can be horribly inconvenient. Nobody wants to be born in Aleppo right now. Nobody wants to be born gay in one of those countries where you are prosecuted for being gay. And it's not terribly convenient nobody to be born loving persons of size (either gender) in a society that valorizes fitness and thinness and treats obesity with horror. I wish there were a world i could run away to, but in the meantime i suppose FF is a great refuge in the meantime.

Nobody --not me, not Jerry Falwell, not anyone-- has the right to tell you how to feel.