chapter 5 — just a little bloat

“Just a little bloat,” I repeat as if saying the words makes it true. Then, my fingers again ply the softness on my sides. It feels so strange but also wonderful in some scary dangerous way. I remember when you started to get fat back in the winter and how at first, you were worried about it. I called it winter weight and you seem reassured as you continued to eat my cakes and pies and cookies.

Later, though, we both enjoyed the feeling and sight of your athletic hard body growing soft and round. And that winter weight is now still on your beautiful body, even though it’s midsummer now. That winter weight has been joined by spring and early summer weight. Your belly has ripened with the seasons, growing large and round with luscious love handles sprouting on your sides. Your breasts have grown large as well into lovely spheres of sensuality. And your belly button has become larger and deeper as fat has piled around it. I love sticking my finger into your navel, feeling it surrounded by so much of your warm soft flab.

The oil is popping loudly on the griddle now, pulling my thoughts back to my cooking. I pour the pancake batter, making heart-shaped pancakes, then get the huge black iron skillet ready for omelettes. The pancake batter bubbles and when the bubbles pop, I know it is time to turn them. I flip them and prepare the eggs for omelettes.

As your belly has grown, your appetite has gotten more ravenous, and I have increased the number of eggs in your morning omelettes. You used to barely be able to eat two eggs. You’re now up to 6. I smile, thinking how much I love watching you eat, the pure joy on your face as you take that first bite. How you moan and groan with pleasure as you eat. And how satisfied, almost smug, your expression is at the last bite of a huge meal or snack. How your chubby cheeks now have grown deep dimples which show every time you find pleasure in our lives together.

In my reverie on your beauty, I don’t even think about how my egg consumption has also grown over the months. I too have been eating 6-egg omelettes lately. Today, I decide to try 8 eggs. I need the extra protein after all, I rationalize, to rebuild muscle on my softened sides.

Sure.

Sure, you will, an inner voice says with a smirk, and I feel a strange longing stir through me