chapter 2 - no april fools joke

I considered “going out” with Carlie to be purely a non-sexual non-romantic endeavor, but Carlie evidently had other ideas. A few times she hugged me in a more romantic or sexual fashion, and once or twice tried looking deep into my eyes. I would always turn away from her, afraid that she would try to kiss me.

She seemed too young for me, I told myself, trying to justify distancing from her. Alas, the truth was that she was just too skinny for my tastes. To hormone-crazed frat boys, she had a dream figure, maybe even a bit more voluptuous than some would like -- something like that most desirable 36-24-36 film Hollywood starlet figure of years gone by.

Way too skinny for me! I like my women chubby – fat even! I never let Carlie know about this. I'd never let anyone know about this, but the casual observer might have figured it out from the size of my ex-girlfriends.

I myself had always been very thin as a broomstick, and I was taller than Carlie, almost 5’11” in my stiletto heels. We probably weighed about the same despite her being a half-foot shorter – maybe 130 pounds or so. I was more flat-chested than her, and my hips were thinner as well. In any event, even though she had a few more curves than me, she was definitely just too skinny for a closeted chub-chaser like me.

After just a few of these so-called “dates” she finally confronted me on April Fools Day. She had shown up at my apartment unannounced, and she was ready for answers.

“Why aren’t you falling for me?” she asked so innocently. “Is there something wrong with me?” I looked away. “What’s wrong with me?” She sounded like she might start crying. I looked into her pale blue eyes and told her the truth.

“Nothing wrong with you. It’s just that . . . well . . .”

I paused, then blurted out, “It’s just that I love fat women!”

Those last four words hung in the air between us for about 10 seconds, it seemed, and we were both silent. Then, her lips curled into a small smile.

“What is this – some sort of April Fools joke?” She chuckled. I stayed stone-faced.

“No, not at all. It’s the truth, and I should have told you weeks ago instead of letting you build our relationship up in your mind into something it could never be.”

Carlie was taken aback, at first refusing to believe me. I pulled out my laptop and started to show her my collection of fat lesbian porn. Her eyes widened at all the big beautiful babes, boobs, butts and bellies wobbling and shaking across my computer screen.

She balked at this revelation, blinking her eyes in disbelief, then turning away from the computer and looking down at the floor. “Are you okay?” I asked. “I’m sorry, I really am.”

She continued to look down as she spoke. “I wanted to find out why you weren’t interested in me, but finding this out is way more than I bargained for. I don’t know what to think. I don’t know . . . ” She started to cry, and I reached my arms out to hug her.

Just then, she pulled away and ran for the door. I chased her down the hallway yelling her name after her, but she was just too fast for me to catch up with. She was in running shoes. By the time I got my heels kicked off, she was no longer in view.

I panted a bit from the chase, then thought to myself that perhaps this was all for the better as I headed back to my apartment in my barefeet.