chapter 2 year one - part 2

It was early morning and Chloe and Jeremy were getting ready for work. Chloe was putting on her panties when Jeremy snuck up behind her and started playfully kissing her neck. Chloe jumped with surprise. Jeremy wrapped his arms around her and began to slowly and sensually rub her stomach, but she pulled herself away from him. It wasn't that she disliked the attention, but she couldn't help but feel uncomfortable with her body fully exposed in the morning light.

"You know I love you, I'm just still getting used to living with someone in this way. For the past 22 years I had my morning routine and it never involved someone watching me dress and grabbing me unexpectedly." She gave him a big kiss and made an adorable pouty face. "Be patient with me?"

"Of course, Chloe" said Jeremy as he resumed his morning routine. He was still energized by the sex they had the night before and hoped to get in another quick session before work. However, without the cover of darkness, Chloe was clearly unwilling to engage with him. Although he was frustrated, he knew better than to push the issue.

The third month of the school year was coming to a close and Chloe and Lisa had established a fairly consistent lunch routine. On Monday through Thursday they had lunch duty together and so they were limited to ordering from the school cafeteria. On Friday, however, they had extra time for lunch and frequently ate at local restaurants. Lisa's favorite spot was a Chinese buffet which Chloe came to greatly enjoy as well.

"You've got to try this crispy chicken. I have no idea what kind of sauce they use but it must contain crack because I cannot stop eating it!" exclaimed Lisa.

"I don't know, I've already had two plates. I don't want to be stuffed when we head back to school" replied Chloe.

"What are you talking about? The purpose of eating good food IS to be stuffed! Why would you stop before then?"

"Oh alright, enough, I'll try your crack-chicken" said Chloe as she took a piece. "Wow, you are right, this is totally delicious!"

"See! Now, eat up" said Lisa as she shoveled a large portion of the chicken onto Chloe's plate.

Chloe took her time and enjoyed the portion. After finishing, she noticed herself beginning to feel full, but a thought entered her mind. 'Why don't I have a little more? It's so good and I deserve it.' After just a few moments of deliberation she stood up and declared "I'm getting another plate, you want anything?"

"Atta girl! Just more chicken please!" replied Lisa.

Chloe returned with additional food and the two friends ended up overeating. As Chloe rubbed her swollen belly, she wondered what had gotten into her. She normally wouldn't tempt herself in that way for fear that others might judge her as pig. She even had that concern with Jeremy, the man who vowed to support her through thick and thin. Perhaps it was something about her budding friendship with Lisa that caused her to lower her guard this time? Maybe Lisa's relaxed attitude? She contemplated these possibilities while nursing her prominent food baby.

On one particular Friday afternoon, Chloe arrived home and raced upstairs to the bathroom, feeling as though she was going to explode. She reached the toilet just in time. After a few minutes she finished her business and began to wash up. "Phew, I told Lisa that eating at that sketchy food truck wasn't a good idea..." she said to herself. It wasn't until then that she noticed the powerful stench she left behind. Suddenly, she heard Jeremy open the front door and say "Chloe, I'm home!" Chloe felt a flush of embarrassment and quickly scrambled to find some deodorizer which she sprayed quickly. As she stepped out of the bathroom and closed the door behind her, she abruptly bumped into Jeremy.

"Oh, hi honey...How was your day?" she said hesitantly, planting herself in front of the bathroom door.

"Just another average work day. Nothing new. Can I get in here though? I've got to pee like a racehorse."

"Oh, um, sure. Yeah, that's fine. Hey, what can I get started for dinner? Do you want chicken, steak, pork or maybe..." said Chloe.

"Whichever" interrupted Jeremy. "Now could you move aside, please?"

Chloe stepped away slowly and felt her face redden. "Just great...he's going to think I'm disgusting" she thought to herself as she sulked away, ashamed.

Jeremy entered the bathroom and immediately took note of the overwhelming clean linen scent that ineffectively masked the unmistakable odor of a massive dump. It was clear to him that she was trying to stall him from entering and that she was obviously embarrassed. For a moment he considered teasing her about the whole thing, but thought better of it. He actually felt a bit sorry that she felt the need to hide her body functions from him; he loved her no matter what she left in the toilet.

Months passed and Chloe and Lisa continued to strengthen their friendship. Their conversations spanned all kinds of subjects, but they most frequently discussed their relationships with their husbands. Chloe discovered that she actually had more in common with Lisa than she originally thought. It seemed that Lisa used to be somewhat reserved and self-conscious, just like Chloe. She too was afraid that she was disappointing her husband and worried about what he thought of her. However, she was able to overcome those fears when she had a moment of clarity. In her words, "One day, I was fed up with living in fear and I just decided it was time to 'Let it Go'. You know, like Elsa". Lisa did her best to convert Chloe to her 'Let it Go' attitude.

"Jeremy is gonna love you no matter what. There is no point in hiding anything from him. Just do what you want to do and share your thoughts and feelings with him. He'll respect that and you'll feel better about yourself. Marriage is hard enough without imposing pressure on yourself. By the way, have you added any of that post-wedding 'comfort weight'?

Chloe was still a little uncomfortable discussing "private" topics like her weight, but because Lisa was a friend and had just provided some helpful advice, she decided to indulge her.

"No, I haven't really noticed any changes - thankfully. I am eating out a bit more though. Between our Friday lunches and my weekly trips to Frank's Pizza with Jeremy, I'm eating out at least 3 days a week".

"Oh, I love Frank's Pizza! I once dated a guy who completed the King Kahuna Challenge. He was an offensive lineman in high school so I don't think it was that big of deal for him. Anyway, just know that the weight can creep up on you - maybe once you get more comfortable." said Lisa with a chuckle.

It was exactly eight months since Chloe's wedding and she found herself ruminating on Lisa's words about weight gain. Chloe wanted to avoid letting herself go in a stereotypical manner and risk disappointing Jeremy, but she wasn't exactly monitoring her weight regularly and she hadn't received any negative feedback from him. On a lark, she decided to pull out the scale she got as a wedding present and see where things stood. Stepping on the scale, she felt a pang of anxiety as she watched the old-fashioned dial creep past "125" and settle on "132".

"Oh god, 7 pounds? That's almost a pound a month! How did I not notice?" shrieked Chloe.

She was instantly reminded of Lisa's words, spoken months ago which seemed to presage her current situation. Having the house to herself, she stripped down to her underwear and stood in front of the mirror to assess the damage. Examining herself closely, she saw the previously unnoticed changes in her body. The newfound weight seemed to mostly collect around her belly, giving her small, but perceptible pooch. Her navel was a fraction deeper and she noticed that her thighs were a tad thicker; her hips flared just a bit more outward.

Chloe felt panicky, but at the same time her mind kept coming back to the thought of 'How did I not notice? Moreover, how did others not notice?' As she continued to scan herself for any other changes that may have occurred, she realized that in spite of her new "additions" her small frame mostly retained its familiar appearance. Moreover, as she applied her clothing, she noted that her shirt and pants continued to fit, without too much additional difficulty. Clearly expecting that a 7-pound gain would be the end of her ability to form relationships with others, she was puzzled by how much she was actually unaffected by it. She would continue to struggle to reconcile these inconsistent beliefs, but at least in this moment, she began to wonder if maybe there was alternative lifestyle, one that required less self-evaluation, that she could begin to adopt.