Gaining

It’s such a paradox. It wouldn’t be as fun and exciting if I didn’t feel so out of control with the constant binging. But I’m a bit scared of it. But it’s the fear which makes it more exciting. And the excitement drives me to stuff more in during binges. I have these moments once or twice per day where I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror or rest my arms on my growing belly or feel my body being squeezed by my clothes. And I think “maybe this is getting out of hand. Maybe I’m big enough and should try to ease up a bit” and I feel a bit scared of what I’m doing to my myself. But then the fear once again becomes excitement and I’m back in the kitchen, trying to clear out every shelf in the fridge and cupboards lol.
Can anyone relate?

I definitely have a lot of both myself. The compulsive overeating keeps my weight gradually, slowly increasing but the binge spells which happen 1-2 times per month cause big growth spurt. Depending on how long they last. I’ve had one last a whole week recently, which added about 4 lbs. And the binges get more frequent and longer, with time.

Exactly the same with me. Eating heavy whipping cream is such a pleasure. But it’s hard to continue eating this constantly. Oh, and then there’s tthe delayed bloated feeling which is such a turn on for me.

Keep eating.

Drugs.
antidepressants
at least they take the edge off and i dont care how much i eat.

this whole thing is out of control though.
i mean even if some of you choose to gain
can you honestly stop?

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