Yeahlikethat:
Pretty much I mainly joined this website for advice. I get turned on by a girl gaining weight, doesnt have to be huge/ forced or anything just the idea of it. My girlfriend found out I was into this by going through my phone, she gets all kinda weird ideas in her head and now she said she wants to gain weight which just makes me feel guilty and generally I discorage it which makes her get confused and think I don't like her.
Thing is she wanted to lose weight when we met so the whole situation seems kind of backwards to me, if she actually wants to be in shape I don't want her to gain weight just for me (all be it though I would find it really hot).
I want to ask feedees if you all knew you wanted to gain weight since puberty type thing or did some of you genuinly have a complete mental switch during adulthood, if so was it because of a relationship or something else?
Unless she geniunly wants to be fat I can just imagine a situation a few years for now were she hates herself and her body and blames me. Thoughts?
Speaking from my point of view as a woman and how I would feel if it were me in this situation, it was probably almost somewhat of a relief to find out your attraction to bigger women. I know you said when you first met she was wanting to lose weight, but I think a lot of women say that because it’s been programmed into us because of society. We are made to think that if we’re bigger that we’re less attractive, so if we get the chance to date someone we actually really like, we grasp onto them and make it know that we will “better” ourselves to keep that person (i.e. working out and losing weight to be deemed more attractive). It comes from a place of insecurity, and that’s especially prevalent at the beginning of a relationship before you really know if your partner will love you no matter what you look like. So her knowing she doesn’t have to meet societal standards is probably a big relief to her.
But as for her actually wanting to actively gain and not just stop trying to lose weight adds another layer. I think of three possible scenarios for this situation.
The first scenario depends on if she currently has to eat really strictly and exercise to maintain her weight now. Because if so she might be saying she wants to gain because she knows that if she stops her current routine she will start gaining. So she is saying she wants to gain when she really knows that it’s inevitable if she lets loose. I could see this being the case especially since you said she is a foodie.
The second scenario is that she might want to gain to be more attractive to you like you stated. It’s like the reverse of what I was talking about earlier. But I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing. I know personally (and sorry this statement won’t be very feminist of me) but the person I most want to see me as attractive is my partner. I know that you’re supposed to do whatever to make you feel the most attractive to yourself, but I know personally I feel most attractive to myself when I know my partner is also in love with how I look. It’s like an extra affirmation. But like I said that just comes from how I feel and I know that not every woman thinks that way.
Then there is the third possible scenario that she might actually want to gain weight and has just been suppressing her desires because of societal pressures.
Also an important part of all of this is how serious is your relationship? Like do you see this lasting and are you in it for the long hall? Will you actually love her forever no matter what weight she is? Because if not, don’t let her gain the weight. If she gains and y’all breakup she will for sure hate you for that as it gets hard for larger women to date. And if you are in it for the long hall and don’t make it clear to her later on that you still love her and are still very much attracted her, that’s when she would start to blame you for how she looks because if she’s not getting that validation from you she’s going to turn back to what others think. And we know how the world generally feels about fat people. So just make sure you personally are prepared for all that if you both decide on her gaining.
But like I said this is all my personal opinion so take from it what you will. You maybe have already talked to her about all this since I’m replying so late. Would love an update on how things are going for y’all!