Gaining

So how it went...
In the meantime I had lost 60 pounds due to a severe Covid infection but have now made up for it all + gained another 30 pounds in just a few months. I think that speaks for itself as things went on, in principle you could say I'm still getting fatter and fatter at a relatively rapid rate.
And since I'm writing this, it's also proof that I haven't burst 💥 due to my greedy gluttony, at least so far. 😅🥵🐖

it does !

Ich glaube trotzdem, irgendwann gehst Du mal zu weit, und dann platzt Du wirklich!

@ Derraabe
Nonsense, something like that doesn't work at all, maybe in a movie or something.
No one can eat so much for something like that to happen, you'll be throwing up a long time before then.

I love feeling and looking huge period. But also the way my fat moves, piles up on itself when sitting or lying down. The dynamic nature of how fat wobbles and bounces in walking. Like it's softness and moldabity in my hands. I enjoy my belly apron pressure on my thighs when standing. What is not to like. Also I am very good at getting very fat, my body is very capable.

Exactly!

I think it’s because I don’t want to be small. I want to have some size. I’m just about 5’5”-6” and feel small and shrunken even at 200 lbs.

Ironically I’m also a bit insecure about my looks. I like fat guys, they’re sexy and attractive, and I want to be and look like them.

He is a boy! care!!! he isnt the lady of the pics

Never in my wildest dreams or fantasy did i imagine i would end up like this.
I have struggled with gaining, mentally, emotionally and physically. I have almost completely accepted that this is how i am for the rest of my life and plan to reach my LAST goal weight within the year. 400 lbs

I like several things about my body. 1. everything about me is soft. My lower stomach feels softer than a breast and its smooth and cool.
the feeling of being so full that i cant move at all is erotic. its hard to get to this point by myself though.
shame - as much as it disgusts me to admit this.. there is a part of me that feels the need to be shamed. the way people look at me sometimes makes me wither , especially people who knew the before me. whispers about how i need to... eat a salad... push away from the table... mooo...pop... so many hurt on multiple levels but also excite me. which makes me feel worse.

About a week ago i went to a MS transition ceremony. It was a small class of about 250 students about to move from MS to HS.


We were almost late and had to sit near the front which meant walking down in front of all those people right as the music played for them to walk in.

My BFF laughed at me and how i looked. she took a pic of me while we stood up and turned to see them all walk in. Her son was in the group of graduates. she sent the pic she took of me to me and i was shocked at how gross i looked in the dress. I couldnt even blame dinner before the ceremony for making me look like a pile of different sizes of michellen tires squeezed into a light green balloon.
I fought back tears through the ceremony as she quietly apologized.. backhanded apologies are the worst.
manage to put on a smile for the kiddo afterward and tried to stear clear of the pics

You’re probably quite beautiful and shouldn’t be shamed like that. Could be time to find some friends that are a bit more accepting of peoples’ weight choices?