I don't actually *want* to get fat, I just enjoy overeating and bingeing and it's a side-effect. I do enjoy being fat though
One thing for me, which I haven't seen mentioned is that my big belly is like a buffer between me and the world around me... it's literally the first to enter a room or bump into things and people... I kinda feel like it protects me in a way, from cruel comments and stares... I mean, it's also the reason for comments and stares in the first place but it's like, they bounce off my big fat belly and don't hurt me?
I've always felt quite protective of my fat gut, because I feel it protects me.
Plus, the fuller it is the better that works. that's also always been true and especially during covid... A full full full tummy kinda numbs the world just enough for me, it makes everything go quiet and calm, just me and my bursting gut, all that registers is how it pushes on my lungs and how heavy it is.
I like imagining i'm just one giant fat ballbelly. Full. Completely sated. Floating heavy and calm and swollen. Nothing else matters.
Plus later as an adult, I just get soooo turned on by how round my tummy is.
And if gorging is not enough, combining that with alcohol or weed can help.
11 months