Fat experiences

I ran into a colleague I hadn’t seen in five or six weeks. She’s funny, sweet, and extremely straightforward—she just says whatever comes to her mind, no filter. You know the type. She stopped, looking surprised, widened her eyes, and grinned: "Wow! You gained some kilos!" Then she gestured in the air around her own imaginary love handles, squeezing them as if she were pinching invisible fat. She looked genuinely amused and taken aback.

I’m not that much heavier, and I haven't really gained that much. But I was very fit to begin with, so I guess it shows. Plus, I think some people are surprised that I, of all people, would gain weight. Normally, I can handle her comments—at work, we tend to be pretty direct with each other. But this time, I just felt my cheeks go red with embarrassment.

To add to it all, it was Friday, and the meeting room was full of croissants. Every time I reached for one, her face lit up with this teasing grin, clearly enjoying herself. She’s in a relationship, which I fully respect, but she still has this way of making a moment both funny and a little too honest—something only she can pull off.

Imma level with ya, chief. You are overthinking this. No one at the grocery store cares what you are buying. No one is looking into your buggy.

And even if they did, there's nothing that looks weird. The only time people will raise an eyebrow is if you are buying things that suggest something nefarious or if you are buying truly excessive amounts of something.

Like if you bought 2 buggies full of nothing but cookies.

And even then, no one will pay attention to you that much. They have their own shit to do.

Ran into a friend from college who I knew when I was about 70 pounds lighter. They didn’t recognize me

Oh I collected multiple embarrassing stories by now.

One happened a couple weeks ago while I sat on the bus. Since it was a travel bus the seats where more spacious, but my fat ass still spilled over to the next one.. a few stations later a man came to sit on his designated seat right next to me and I could tell he felt uncomfortable but what should I do… he attempted to pull down the armrest multiple times only to find out it wouldn’t go down because of my love handles/thighs. He even tried to squish it down past my fat, it was so uncomfortable.
We had very weird eye contact afterwards and I told him I’m sorry. Worst thing was that I packed lots of snacks for the ride (was about 6h) and anytime I ate cookies or whatever, he glanced over and I could tell he judged me. Towards the end of the ride and my many snacks he told me that it’s my fault for looking like this haha
I just told him that I personally don’t have a problem with this and we sat there in silence

For three weeks now I have needed help getting out of bed. The first time i was in shock. I've tied a rope to the bedframe and door to use to help me up and that worked for a while but now I cant do it by myself.

I never intended to be like this. trapped in so many ways. Most of the time is is embarrassing and degrading. I just don't understand how this also is exciting sometimes. I should be ashamed only

I'm sorry you feel this way. You are a beautiful woman and you are more than your situation. I hope all the best for you

Hun, are you safe right now?

Because the more of your posts I read, the more concerned for your safety I become.

Hun, are you safe right now?

Because the more of your posts I read, the more concerned for your safety I become.[/quote]

Im safe.
its not liek soneone is tying me up and feeding me.... not for over a year anyway. i loved those sessions.
if only there was a way to stuff and feel full and not gain so much.
we talked this morning and he said he was committed ot helping my by buying better food. lean mean and salads and the like.

i still want, need?, to make him happy though. but what happens to me of smething happens to him?

Have y'all discussed that? Because every couple needs to have a plan about what they'd do if the other was no longer around - especially if one person is reliant on the other.

Seen what happens when those plans aren't in place. Not just got divorce or abandonment. But other things too like job loss, illness, or death.

It's an uncomfy conversation, but one you need to have - especially for your sake.

We have, i have. he wont take it seriously. some of you haveb een sending me messages abotu the fatnasy part of this and yes it is exciting. a total rush. but the reality is exactly what you say. my fear is not that he will run off and leave me but that he will be in a car accident and i will have to be a burden to someone else. its one thing to have him help me get up. it would be a totally different thing if my sister had to move back in or have my BFF take care of me until im on my own again.
425 this morning.
i have hand weights ive been using to build up stregnth.
and ive been walking for 4-5 minutes at a time. several times a day. i'll do mare as im able.