Tiapet:
I posted this in the wrong forum previously...I think.
I asked this of a feeder who had on their profile that they were single because their ex stopped gaining..... My message to them is below
Hello I hope your day is lovely. I was wondering... How big did your ex grow before she stopped gaining and you lost interest?
I am asking because it fascinates me to understand whether feederism is based on actual emotional connection or purely selfishness...If you don't continue growing...I will leave. Does it then become emotionally abusive because your feedee actually cares for you and becomes willing to surpass their limits in order to not be dumped?
Just wondering...
So my 2nd question: Is a Feeder truly a FA or simply out for their own selfish thrill until the ride ends?
It's always a spectrum. Every large group of human beings contains monsters, predators, and people that have mental illness and/or dysfunction. Groups like ours that are so tabooed tend have a moderately higher number visible for several reasons imho:
1. A taboo will tend to push many people that are toward the saner end of the spectrum into the closet in some form.
2. Being tabooed for something inherent to yourself tends to make you both less stable and less willing to follow social norms.
3. The internet is mostly anonymous, and so people have less inhibitions
4. People that are less-inhibited in general also tend to express themselves in places and cultures like this in higher proportion and at higher "volume".
"Feeder" is just another sexual classification, and probably includes just about every type of person imaginable. Certainly the breadth of story and experience material I've read over the last 20 years suggest as much to me. Unfortunately, in a society where excess calories is infinitely more common and thus more commonly dangerous that insufficient calories, weight gain (and, for that matter, fat admiration) is commonly considered unhealthy, and thus anyone willing to forgo such... knowledge... is both exceptionally counterculture and of the opinion that the weight gain of their partner beyond whatever arbitrary point is more important than their health beyond whatever arbitrary point.
Now that the extremes are out of the way, I will say that I self-identify as a feeder, and though infinite weight gain does lead to inevitable death, the truth is neither infinite nor inevitable: It is gray, like almost everything else. Fat, feeding, and even weight gain can absolutely have appropriate and reasonable roles in a loving and otherwise-normal relationship, just like any kind of sexuality, just like bdsm or loving feet or being gay, imho. It is those terms, "reasonable" and "loving" that are the important part. Just like in bdsm, safe, sane, consenual, and have a safe word. And, of course, act like an adult, and learn how to channel your needs in ways and to degrees that are creative rather than potentially destructive.
Personally, I love fat and I love the idea of creating fat on a partner, but I have channeled passions into my own mind to shape myself in sane ways, like being wholly satisfied with seeing fat on a partner, especially fat I've created, without having to constantly create more. Or being able to channel needs into wonderful sites like this, where they can be let out in talking with like minded people, roleplaying, fantasy, or writing stories that are far beyond anything that will be possible in my lifetime. I find that sci-fi and fantasy and speculative fiction in general, even horror (XD), are natural partners with tabooed and potentially morally-ambiguous genres like this one. Reality can be a bitch, but it is something we all live in - best to get used to it and figure out how to get by and be happy without making things worse... and, perhaps, in doing so, even make things better.
Wow. That was a rant, haha
