Never in my wildest dreams or fantasy did i imagine i would end up like this.
I have struggled with gaining, mentally, emotionally and physically. I have almost completely accepted that this is how i am for the rest of my life and plan to reach my LAST goal weight within the year. 400 lbs
I like several things about my body. 1. everything about me is soft. My lower stomach feels softer than a breast and its smooth and cool.
the feeling of being so full that i cant move at all is erotic. its hard to get to this point by myself though.
shame - as much as it disgusts me to admit this.. there is a part of me that feels the need to be shamed. the way people look at me sometimes makes me wither , especially people who knew the before me. whispers about how i need to... eat a salad... push away from the table... mooo...pop... so many hurt on multiple levels but also excite me. which makes me feel worse.
About a week ago i went to a MS transition ceremony. It was a small class of about 250 students about to move from MS to HS.
We were almost late and had to sit near the front which meant walking down in front of all those people right as the music played for them to walk in.
My BFF laughed at me and how i looked. she took a pic of me while we stood up and turned to see them all walk in. Her son was in the group of graduates. she sent the pic she took of me to me and i was shocked at how gross i looked in the dress. I couldnt even blame dinner before the ceremony for making me look like a pile of different sizes of michellen tires squeezed into a light green balloon.
I fought back tears through the ceremony as she quietly apologized.. backhanded apologies are the worst.
manage to put on a smile for the kiddo afterward and tried to stear clear of the pics
1 day
one is my name and one is an abbreviation of my sisters name
3 weeks
I have an ex would would let his friends feed me. not sexual ever happened between them and me. I allowed it because he wanted them to.
3 weeks
- When have you felt the most absolute stuffed but also best? - - About 2 years ago i had a BF who liked me to full that it hurt to move. We had a party and, it was all in fun, but the other two couples could feed me or ask me to eat what ever. It was fun and erotic.
- what did you eat and how much of it were you able to stuff? - - Pasta pizza and brownie dough. As far as how much... idk.
- where were you at? By yourself? Restaurant? With friends or family?
Home with BF and his work friends. I knew everyone too but not as close to them as he is.
- did you purposely mean to stuff to the max or did it just happen? - - It was all planned. Didnt know how far i could/would go/
- how did you feel after? passed out in a food coma? Pain? Pleasure? - - at the time i felt pretty bad. It hurt to move. and I laid in the easy chair propped back for a couple of hours till i could get up. Looing back, i wish i had been able to relax more and enjoy
- how did your belly feel? I’m really curious on this one cause I don’t have a big belly like others do. - - Really tight and hard.
- (if you have a partner) did they play a role in getting you this stuffed?
We talked about doing something like this with another couple. didnt expect 2 and didnt expect them to be into it the way they were.
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I liked making my BF happy. Was realllly unsure about including other people in our shared kink. There was just about zero sexuality. Some belly and breast touching but that was about it.
again, looking back... i wish i knew then what i know now and just had enjoyed more
1 month
Large Meatlovers pizza from Pizza hut.
2 months
Letters And Numbers:
I’m pretty much of the mind that unless it’s about size acceptance or other weight related political issues, there’s the ENTIRE REST OF THE INTERNET to talk about politics. It’s inescapable. This site can be an oasis from that. But just my opinion.
gotta agree with you. You can find anything you want on the internet. This is a very specific site. If someone wanted to talk about a sensitive social or political issue then they can take it somewhere else. I know that Some of my friends here and i have "met" on other chats and forums to discuss things that dont belong here.
The other side is just skip over things you dont want to read and realize its all right ot be offended
3 months
was training for a half marathon when i killed my ankle. then covid happened.
nearly immobile for a long time with complications and pain meds and etc.
3 months
hope this is ok to post...
remind me of my ex
his...personal parts were huge
(by his own doing)
and he had to adjust anytime he sat down or all that mass ended up resting on what ever he was sitting on and spreading his legs apart.
at home was no problem and most restaraunts but flying was awkward... every time
3 months
1. are you funneling yourself? get comfortable and have some extra towels laying around.
When I funnel alone I lie to lay back and I have a valve to stop or adjust the flow.. You need to have the valve close to your mouth.
2. Is someone else doing this to you? or helping you.? Make sure if you are bound that you are with someone you trust. If you have a partner that you trust then you need a way to communicate some basic things.
4 months
slip on shoes
haven't worn a bra in over a year.
5 months
