This morning my wife commented on my slightly greying beard and wondered if I will eventually look like Santa Claus. She's asked before, but it stood out this time because I've been putting on weight.

It was shortly after we were intimate, could she be turning this into a sexual thing?

I've never done role playing, nor is it something I think I could do. Where can I go from here?

I'm sure she has noticed!

My co-workers knew me when I was bigger and many have commented on my weight loss and "how great I look"...I wonder what they'll think as I add back the pounds?

I've decided to keep eating like crazy until at least Sunday, May 8th (three weeks since I started). I'm enjoying it too much. The way the food tastes, the way my stomach is stretched, the way my clothes are fitting. I missed it all. After May 8th, who knows. I'm going to see if I could get to 200 by then. I was 189 on April 17th. Haven't been on a scale since.

My problem is that whenever I go on a gaining rampage, I do it very quickly. 20 plus pounds within the first month or so. So it would probably be pretty noticeable. It slows down after a month, usually 5 or so for a bit, and then slows down completely to 1 or 2 per month.

So we'll see on May 8th where I'm at, how I'm feeling and make a further decision then. I have a feeling this could continue beyond.

I would occasionally use pillows, I would more often use an inflated garbage bag. You could completely fill it then tie it up and it would be hard. Or sometimes I'd only fill it to 3/4 and it would be squishier.

I like the idea of pros and cons, and will probably do it. However, before I have even started making that list, full on pigging out has taken hold of me. I feel like a junkie, and food is my drug of choice. Getting fat again seems to be winning. On Thursday I had nearly 5000 calories. I didn't count yesterday, but it was more than 3000 for sure. I'm already at 1500 today. The beast had been unleashed.

I am so tempted to go for 200. And with how much I'm eating, I'm sure it won't take long. Maybe I'll re-evaluate then...maybe.

A couple years ago I got up to 260. Felt great, but I had to lose some weight and did. Been hovering around 190 for a few months.

I don't know what's changed, but the past few days I've been eating anything and everything in sight. What a feeling! My stomach hurts because its so full, but I want more!

I loved being fat and kinda want to again, but physically I feel better at my current weight. SO CONFLICTED!

My wife has never been okay with gaining weight, but I think she's deep down okay with it.

When I met her in '02 she was in the 210's. We got married in '07 and she was about 165. But since then it's been a roller coaster ride for her. Gain 20 lose 10. Gain 30 lose 10. Gain another 30 lose 20 etc. I don't know her exact weight right now, but I think she's in the 290's. She loves eating, especially chocolate. When she's trying to lose, I'll cook better and keep junk away. But she always goes back to it on her own...which I'm happy to help with! I think she wants to lose weight because thats what society says. But she can't help herself.

As a further committment to this gain, I just ordered a bunch of shirts to accommodate my soon to be new girth.

Before being essentially locked at home, I had set a goal of reaching 260 by the end of April. I'm currently at 253. Definitely attainable.

I wasn't sure at first how much I'd be able to gain with my family around...kids not at school, wife working from home....especially since I can't do the fast food runs I'm used to. But I've actually been able to eat much more than I had expected. The numbers on the scale haven't gone up much - yet. I have no doubt they will.

Which brings me to this: My goal is still 260 by the end of April. However, I have my sights set on 270! No timeframe, just wanna get there.

Any tips or encouragement would be great!

In the past week or so, I'm up 8ish lbs. I've done this without even trying. I don't think I've really eaten more nor consumed more calories, but my scale is climbing!

In the couple weeks before Christmas, I had plateaued. Perhaps it's just all catching up, finally!

This happen to anybody else?