I was recently in a discussion about sex with a guy I might want to actually be in a relationship with. He said and I hate what he said: “ All girls I've had really kinky sex with have cried telling me it's the best orgasm they had, and it's not coming from a place of anger it's intimate to hurt someone for their pleasure and comfort them afterwards. In a twisted way I don’t truly understand.”
It was upsetting to learn. That to me raises the question about how often is a kink and or fetish a reflection of trauma, abuse, toxic? Just idk all I know is that I’m not interested in that. I believe that sex is a culmination of what the relationship is. As in sex is an expression of love. And yeah it’s also recreational. But someone hurting me especially during sex and then comforting me is a horrifying concept. It made me wary of him. And just I had to bite my tongue and not point out that from what I know of his past relationships that was not a bdsm or something. That was an actual trauma toxic thing that those girls had brought into sex because that’s what they were shown that love is. I know people won’t agree with me. But when I read that it made me cry. It scared me. So just yeah a kink a fetish can be so many things. It can be a fun thing. It can be a liking a girl in dresses. It can be a penchant for shoes or whatever. It can be enjoying more to hold onto. It can be because maybe you have had better relationships with heavier people. It can be that you like the sounds they make when they are eating or really full. Or that they seem happier. Or just literally anything can be a turn on for whatever reason. Maybe it’s cause of morbid curiosity, maybe it’s a power thing. I know for me that My porn is completely separate from my relationships. Yes sometimes I am turned on by a pudgy belly spilling over jeans or them overeating or whatever. But it is not something I want to explore because for me it is a selfish thing. As in I would get bored and resentful if it was permanent. I get too sadistic. It’s not shame it’s more I don’t want that. Plus it’s not one or the other. So I mean idk. A fetish, kink, preferrence, whatever is complicated. Also some people just like how they look bigger or smaller. If they are confident and healthy then good for them. Idk it’s confusing. These discussions get heated. If someone writes on these topics you should be prepared for major criticism. Atm I’m exhausted and responding because why not. Plus that conversation was slightly upsetting and I’m curious

Okay I don’t know if this belongs here but I was talking to a guy I met on hinge and he said quarantine turned him into a marshmallow. So I was honestly a little horrified by the subsequent spike in my libido. I couldn’t get past it. And because we had very different sexual preferences(not having to do with this fetish, he just liked rough sex and I don’t at all) we never had sex we were friends but dangerously close to having sex because turns out I was insanely turned on by his softness. He was just soft enough to make him solid on his 5ft9 frame. He carried it well but I couldn’t keep my hands off him. I finally told him about the feederism stuff actually I told him early on. I was so weird about it though. And he was okay with me touching his soft bits but the talking about it kind of weirded him out. He told me it did. I mean yes he played along here and there because of my reaction but yeah I think I made him feel bad. I had completely forgotten how dominant I get about that. And it kind of made me rethink the guys I go after. I like both. I like very in shape guys as in the conventional hot guys but I also like softness as long as they are strong.

But now I’m terrified to ever interact with a guy with any softness because I get so out of control so fast. Zero to sixty. I told him this is why I am very careful not to bring it into practice because although having stuff I masturbate to brought to life is insanely hot I don’t know how to dial it back a bit and be respectful. I actually do get so weird and persistent. And yeah he was cool about it. But yeah we are friends but the few times he teased me by tightening his pants or anything I kind of lost it. The stupid quarantine gains also just mess with my head. I get all riled up over it but they I’m annoyed that the person kinda lied about how they look in their pictures when I video with them. I don’t know it’s not as if I wouldn’t like a guy if he gained a little weight. It’s just I get so out of control with the fetish and I don’t force food on them I just constantly want them to talk about it that it kinda makes them feel bad or feel like an object rather than a person. And or Idk makes them feel like that’s the only thing I’m interested in. So uh that’s why I keep it separate. The guy I am currently super into and really genuinely like and I am sleeping with us gorgeous and sweet and sexy and has no idea how hot he is. Our relationship fell apart during quarantine. So I’m not sure what we are now but yeah. I told him about this stuff but he doesn’t know how to talk dirty in general. He tries. He said anything that helps you get off and experience as much pleasure as possible when you are experiencing anxiety but still want to get off I’m more than happy to try. Feeding him is not something I want to do at all. He even offered to have me watch the stuff I masturbate to or read it or listen to it and he could eat me out so I wouldn’t feel judged. He never judges me for it. He likes curvy girls but yeah not to this extent. He is very sweet. But yeah hearing about all these quarantine gains is making me both terrified and horny and confused. Amd none of the people I want to have gain weight gain weight.

So I’m just now writing more stories about it so that I can live out the stuff there. And yeah it’s hard. But yeah why is no one posting pictures of their gain. Like on Facebook or Instagram or just posting pictures at all. I want so desperately to see it. I feel so horny all the time but yeah been too anxious to fully satisfy it. Anyway sry if this got off topic

Okay as I said not a doctor or anything. Going from personal experience. Everyone is different. Everyone is so different. But yeah regular checkups are important.

Uh it’s just not great for u. I mean I’m lactose intolerant and It makes me really sick for days. But it isn’t great for your arteries like cheese and stuff. Yogurt is fine. Again point is everything in moderation but if you are looking to be healthier I would do everything you can to accomplish that. And yeah every little bit helps. And yeah I’m not a doctor or nutritionist. Also everyone is different. Go see a nutritionist and or health care professional. Don’t look it up online. There is confusing information and seriously just trust the professionals. Do not use the internet. Go find a good doctor and check up on your health. Bones and joints suffer the more you weigh. That’s why I said doctor and nutritionist. They can’t force you to do things. They just want you to be healthy. If they body shame you then go to a different doctor. Do not destroy your joints and bones and muscles and heart and all that. It will be super painful if you do. And it also hurts the people who care about you. Such as your significant other, family, kids, friends, anyone who cares about you.

Eat a balanced diet. Meat veggies fruit. Stay away from fried foods and dairy for a bit. Drink a lot of water. You do need to exercise. My mom is a nutritionist and works at an eating disorder clinic it’s a terrifying place to be. She was paranoid that my sister was going to be anorexic. So you can still eat just eat healthy. Follow your S/O diet. And go work out with them to support them. Yes lose now while you are young. It’s not worth the health issues later. Slowly replace soda with a healthy alternative. Replace French fries with potatoes( baked potatoes or those small ones people normally have with salmon). It will get harder the heavier and older you are. If you like eating you can graze I guess and drink water if you want to feel full. But I don’t know. Just for now switch to healthier diet and make sure you walk at least 5 miles everyday. If you want to stay healthy you have to take responsibility for it. I’m not saying you are going to drop dead randomly. I’m just saying maybe go get a check up at the doctor and honestly do what they say. They won’t force you to be skinny but they will tell you how to be healthy. Maybe see a nutritionist. I think you could just say “hey I like my body but I want to be healthier and not have issues later. How do I do that?” It’s their job. It’s not their job to fat shame you or force you to be skinny.

Also honestly it’s about strength. You can be fat and be in shape. Just again diet and exercise. Its being out of shape and not being strong that hurts you. And the unhealthy diet. Meaning things that are harmful to your cholesterol. You are getting tired because your diet is keeping you from having energy. Look I’m 5ft8 and I have an hourglass figure. 32E 27/28 inch waist and 38/39 inch hips. I think I weigh 135lbs. I do yoga I’m in good shape I tend to eat every two hours i don’t know why. If I eat junk food it makes me anxious and sick and then I just feel horrible.

My point is yeah I’m lucky in my body type and general tendencies. I only eat till Im not hungry. I only eat something if I like it. I don’t like being full because then I feel weighed down. If I’m depressed or anxious I won’t eat. So yeah. Just my goal is strength flexibility and general health. Meaning mental and physical.

You are probably sluggish because of what you put in your body. I love the fries from McDonald’s and I eat that when I wait too long to eat. It helps with the hunger but it doesn’t provide any nutritional value. So eat nutritious stuff. K idk if that helps. Talk to a doctor or just health care professional. Dont gain because someone tells you to on a website. Just be healthier. Again it’s your body, your life, your relationship. You have one body. Sry if I sound preachy.

Um it depends on your body type. If you distribute fat proportionately then you will look the same but bigger and like just a little thicker everywhere. But if you tend to put weight on in your stomach then yeah it will be noticeable. Heavy cream will probably make you feel sick though. It all really depends on how you are built.