Ditzy is wise :-) I'd definitely say listen to Ditzy!

Most of the medical community is aware that BMI is flawed, but it is better than weight alone and is easy to gather. Body fat percentage would be a lot better measure, but that is hard to gather with any accuracy. There is some argument that waist circumference is actually a better measure than BMI, but that is still under discussion.

And of course you are free to use words however you want, but your definition of 'obese' is certainly very different than that of most people (not even taking into account the medical community).

Basically ditto on everything that Ditzy said.

But also, please use paragraph breaks. It is hard to read a block of text that big. ;-)

My recent gains seem to have really been in the fat pad above and to the sides of my penis and scrotum. I'm not all that heavy but my flaccid penis is already half buried in fat, and the look of the whole area has changed with the fat sort of smoothing out the lines of it all.

"Genes identified that increase the risk of obesity but also protect against disease "www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2021/02/210226121300.htm

I don't know if it would work with you, with your struggles with anorexia, but fat habits are key to how most people get and stay fat.

That is, it is really hard to remember to eat extra all of the time, especially when your body isn't expecting it. But if you make habits that cause you to eat more then it happens more automatically without thinking about it as much.

For example, planning a mid-morning snack. A muffin, a bagel, a banana, nothing too crazy, but have it about the same time every morning and make sure to still have lunch at the usual time, and after not too long your body should expect that snack and then to have lunch. You can do the same thing for other snack times.

Another is adding some extra calories in what you are already eating, the taste may not be what you like at first but again you will get used to having it that way. Have coffee or tea with sugar and cream. Have toast with lots of butter and heaps of jam. In recipes substitute milk for cream, or add some extra oil.

A third is getting a few more calories into each meal. Add a bit of fruit to your breakfast, add a drink of milk or juice (or even soda) to your lunch. When you are cleaning up after dinner always have a bit of the leftovers, or get a piece of bread and mop out the pan, or have some dessert at the end of the meal -- basically just train your body to finish what you put on your plate, and then to expect a little bit more.

Any of those habits will add some calories to your day, and the great thing about habits is that once you have established one it is easy to maintain so you can put your focus on building up another habit.

Good luck with getting to where you want to be!

I'd suggest starting with activities to do together, rather than anything that sounds like 'exercise for exercise's sake'. For example put on some favorite music and have your own mini-disco in the living room or kitchen. Or throw a ball or frisbee back and forth, or kick a ball between you. Just get the habits back of getting up their feet and moving around and enjoying being physical. If she resists that, then I think you are right to be a bit cross with her, saying "I don't want to spend my whole life sitting on the couch. I love the weight you have gained, but it is possible to be this size and to also get up and go outside and do things. If my suggestions don't sound fun to you, please think of other ideas."

Sometimes feeling my double chin jiggle when I'm brushing my teeth.

Good for her .. and nice for you! Enjoy

I only ever had one really fat teacher, and unfortunately she was just awful as a teacher so I never quite managed to have a crush on her, even if I was fascinated by her size. She was my music teacher from grades three through eight, and when I inadvertently made her cry in grade eight I had a moment of celebrity in the school. But the one thing I did do was cut people who criticized her for her size, pointing out that she was awful because she was awful, not because she was fat.