Its hard to know for sure if someone is in love with me... or with my fat.
i know that some people are so into gaining or fatness that the minute a girl wants to lose they will drop them
to find love?? seems rare now a days

backstory if important to me
when i RP its what sets the tone.

pretty sure when my feeders started all this that they didnt think it would go this far so my health didnt come in to play.
i worry but on my dads side of the family a lot of the women and a few men are big and dont seem to have problems..
im hopeful i got theri genes

I lived this life for a short while
in one way it was nice not having to think.
in another it was not nice not having control
it was scary
but
eritoc at the same time

weird feelings

We've found that a big once a week stuffing isnt as good as kind of practicing all well... or even a few days before a big one.

i went along with being filled every 6 hours for 4 days and then almost nothing for 24 hours and then one huuuuuge marathon stuffing session.
he was very interested in before after and the day after .... damage.

for the marathon one
we packed a little of 9 pounds into me.
and then kept me there for another 24 hours before resting

i think it depends on the circumstances and who is saying what...
if im alone with my BF or close freinds and they call me a pig... or fatso... or blob... then its ok. i dont mind.
i LOVE when my BF tells me that im beautiful and that he will love me no matter what i look like.....
Yes. i know. he wants me to gain. belive my i know.
but i love hearing compliments from him

kinda creepy to hear compliments from random strangers AND sometimes it does happen

my hump has been an Everest

Living so long looking fit and atheltic and then to this in about 2 years.
how will i ever get over this.
but
it comes in waves.
sometimes i accept this and let go for a while
then other times. i tell myself that i can change back into who i was.
but
less and less... i mean i spend less time thinking about who i was before.
Im kind of afraid to 100% embrace this.
im glad that I have a BF who loves me how i am now.

Its a funny title for a post on a forum
makes it sound like you can be fat in public and not so fat at home?
maybe i read too much into things though.
not hating ... dont be mad.

I sometimes have mini panic attacks when i go out. that may be because of how much my body has changed. or it could just be adjusting after being on lockdown and going nowhere for so long.
-
and i guess it depends on where or what kind of public is it.
my BF too me to an arts and craft show.
It was hard to walk around because of my ankle injury.
it did feel nice to be outside
but he its like he kept some kind of food in my hands the whole time.
i have given him way too much control of my life. he got to choose my clothes and THAT was embarrassing.
i would have preferred a long dress. or jean and a big t shirt.
oh well.
i guess its the price for love?

I used to not like people to see how i had changed.
now... its not like i like it or dislike it.
i just try to go with the flow

Bending all the way over.
I lost a lot of flexibility because I could exerize when I first killed my ankle.
Now with losing flexibility and my gut, Its really hard to put on shoes.

Not sue if this is a limitation but...
The whole clothes thing was limiting in that i didnt want to go out after about 30+ lbs gained

nothing fit and my work was scaled back so i didnt have money to buy new clothes.
even had to give um my membership to this site.

LOVE THEM...
Nice to see a guy see what its like to have something extra up top.

I used hormones to"help" a guy grow.
Loved how they felt when his chest was shaved