The reason he devalues me as not "classy" is because I am the type who shares photos of myself that he doesn't approve of but feels entitled to, and knows I would never do it for him specifically.

It's all tone-policing to underline his slutshaming. "Tell me how I'm wrong about dehumanizing you, but only in a way that I can handle."

My point was that you treat women like objects, not actual people, and you need to put in to these communities what you want out of them. If you want to commune with people you have to contribute to it.

You are the one broadbrushing ones as a group that you don't like, that don't meet your standards and therefore deserve scorn and scolding. Like you fully came out of the gate with that, as your one and only contribution to this community, and you're surprised people are raking you over the coals for it? Gee, wonder why lol.

And no, not everyone wraps up their self-worth in their sexual expression. Especially wrapping up their self worth in *others'* sexual expression that you think is bad or less-than because it doesn't align with your desires or standard of approval. If you know so much about cybersecurity then certainly you understand that women and femme people in particular have an interest and standard in others willing to share and put forth basics of their own.

You are not a woman, are talking about how you highly disapprove of *certain* women that you don't even know, and when some of those women come forth and express themselves, you still insist you're right about something you cannot even experience.

My point remains that you have no interest in "friendship" at all because friends consider what the other person has to say and engages with good faith. Instead you are doubling down on your not-so-subtle incel dogwhistles. You aren't special, you have said nothing new or even remotely correct, we have heard this all a thousand times from every other grayface who is furious that women don't give them what they want.

Good god get a clue and several therapy appointments lol.

"female friend to confide in" is using us as your emotional laborer. We're HUMANS. We do not exist solely for *your* comfort, entertainment, or companionship. The fact that you have the nerve to come here, with no content, no photos, no substance, then tsk-tsk at us for not being what exactly *you* want is disgusting and makes you worse than the "skeevy" ones.




Nobody does it for you. We do it for ourselves. God forbid we might enjoy our own bodies (and another example of the blatant fatphobia that fetishists relish: assuming fat women show off their body for anothers' approval without ever considering we enjoy our own)

Try empathy and "being that friend" to confide in that you so clearly feel entitled to and LISTEN to women instead of slut-shaming them.



Nothing you have done, demonstrated, said, or intend to do even remotely qualifies as respect. Your entire post is about shaming women and how you feel entitled to us. Especially when you fully admit in your comment that you are "befriending" them based on one-sided sexual attraction.

If you aren't friends with people because you like them *as people* and fully admit it's because you find them attractive physically first, guess what! That's just treating them like an object and there's no room for respect in there at all.



And what about the men who walk around without tops, not just at Mardi Gras but anywhere? Why are you still going to Mardi Gras, noticing all these abominable, uncouth, exhibitionist bare breasts, giving your money to this economy, if you think you can do so much better? What makes you think that women *want* flowers and *your* undivided attention? What if some women just love flashing their tits and having fun without your approval or involvement?



If the only reason you want to "befriend" a woman is *because* she is fat... boy have I got news for you! That makes you Primo Skeevo.

Women are not china. We are not delicate. We are not objects. We. Are. Human. Beings. That do not owe you a goddamn thing, ever.

Literally explaining how it is the opposite of good and actually very harmful to fat people (and not subjectively) so why am I not surprised that you come in here, add absolutely nothing of value to a thread, except to goad further the behavior you pretend to snide at, while also clearly making the statement "I'd rather harm more fat people for my own entertainment"

The movie is not good. It is vile. It is propaganda and uses fat people as an object. Your response makes it pretty clear that aligns with your values.

The feedist community is super active there!

I mean my point here is that I literally did not tell him not to say it. I can't and won't stop anybody from saying anything like that I was literally just trying to point out like hey when we use this language this is why it's harmful. But yeah the response to that without any command really says a lot!

Okay, and? This is a forum not a private message. Kind of interesting you are so insistent on silencing a woman lol. I also ended my end of the conversation. If you're going to attack my character (poorly!) I am certainly going to defend it.

I'm not even remotely surprised that you took the time to go through my post history specifically to find something in which to assassinate my character and deliberately ignoring the context of those conversations. So who's doing the judgment now?

You said it yourself. You hadn't even seen the movie. Everything I discussed had to do with your own words and I didn't even need (or have any desire to) go find more information about you because quite frankly your own behaviors showing quite well here.

My comments were not at all meant to be heated with you. I never once judged you. I simply pointed out how we are conditioned to think a certain way and if you aren't willing to challenge that well I'm not at all surprised that you're eager to find something that aligns with you retaining the reality as you see it instead of as it actually is.

Also let's not forget that you were the one who escalated the thread because you took offense to something I literally didn't even say. All I pointed out was that the term we used was fatphobic and I explained why. You were the one who took it as me saying you couldn't say it when I never said that. Doesn't sound like my problem at all🤷🏼‍♀️

None of the changes the fact that describing yourself as "healthy size" is inherently fatphobic regardless of your intention (which I never stated was a bad thing because I knew you didn't mean it that way).

Have the day you deserve ❤️

Where did I judge you? I'm simply asking you questions. Based on your own information that you provided.

You yourself said initiated your conversation with no other information that that you called yourself a healthy size at a previous point in your life. You then went on to explain after I stated that describing ourselves as a healthy size or not is fat phobic and why, I literally never said you couldn't do it. I was just pointing out how insidious languages how much it seeps into our subconscious and we don't even think about it.

I then asked you questions. If you believe that size is determinant of health, and your kink is about people being a larger size that you buy your own definition to find as unhealthy, and you're not willing to explore the root of that so you can engage with it without causing harm to other people including yourself, where did I judge you?

I didn't. You said that all yourself. I said nothing about your character I simply asked you to follow your own logic. That's okay if it's something you're not ready to answer for. All you have to say is dang I gave you something to think about and I hope I did.

We could all use with a little bit of education on how to safely engage with a fat kink and understanding the fat phobic roots that can intertwine in its foundation. Both can exist but not until people are willing to have honest conversations with themselves. That's what I mean by a majority of fetishists are actually just fat phobes.