You’re fine china

Sorry my post got cut off:

TL;DR: you want to be secretive, insist you are not who you say you are, have "a female friend" to carry your emotional load that you are also sexually attracted to but doesn't share pics that you do not morally approve of (yet won't answer as to why you feel any need to *look* at them if they aren't required to build this attraction that you insist is required to be "friends"...)

Those are all dogwhistles. At best you're a self-hating misogynist. At *best*

The last thing you need is a "female friend." What you need is a reality check.
2 years

You’re fine china

I have no idea where you acquired this opinion. Is this about my simile about fine china and paper plates? Allow me then to explain: Fine china represents something that is valuable and treated with care, making sure that your actions don't damage it because it is irreplaceable. Paper plates are something you use once and throw away, without the need or desire to care what that does to the plate. The meaning of the simile was the exact opposite of what you claim. It means that each woman is an irreplaceable individual that should be treated with care, not as an object to be disposed of whenever it is convenient.


Nice try, but if you're going to mansplain your own poor use of language to a woman that you are comparing to objects: you are using a metaphor. You did not say that women are *like* fine china (a simile), you asserted the we all *are* fine china. Neither of which are true.

Metaphor is the literal function of using an *object* to symbolize a subject or concept. And there is no place, ever, to insist that women *are* an object. Especially when you cannot experience what it is like to be the subject that you are, literally, by definition, objectifying (women). That is to say: if women want to use metaphor to describe themselves, they get to. You do not. Period.

Additionally, you are not treating the women here that you claim to care so much about with anything remotely close to respect, consideration, or care at all. You are telling us to cover up because YOU don't like it. No consideration what so ever for our choices, desires, reasons, or autonomy—none of which we owe to you. You are literally treating us as the paper plates you describe: all the same, and disposable. The fact that you keep dismissing my statements because they aren't "classy" enough for you means that I'm right. If you TRULY believed that all women deserved the care you claim they do, you would not speak to me , or any of us, in the way that you have. Your OP would not even exist. This is a fact, none of your purple-faced mansplaining backpedaling cowpie will change it.


Fair point, but if by "contribute" you mean placing my personal details and pictures on a public forum, then I disagree.


Sure. Of course. You don't owe anyone photos of yourself. And you are not required to enjoy the ones that exist here. But you certainly have no moral standing to then come to this place and complain about the pictures that exist and shame the people who created them—which as been pointed out, you single out women, not the men or non-binary folks here who also choose to celebrate their bodies as *they* choose.

It's called autonomy. Clearly something you are well aware applies to you, but you consciously choose to conditionally revoke from others as if you have any place to. You do not. Especially in a community you have chosen to wag your finger at.

Hence my opinion that they should not be placing their pictures or information on a public website. And if they felt pressured into doing so, they should reconsider, as there are people like me out there that don't require that in order to consider them someone of worth.


And yet! See above. You do not see us of worth. At all. And you felt you had the place to *complain* about the content here? If people "shouldn't" be posting pictures... again, why are you looking at them?


You don't know if I am a woman or not, only what I claim to be in my profile.


You assert that you are "a gentleman" and that you are seeking "a female friend." Your profile, language, and predictable doubling-down of everything indicate you are in fact, male. Other non-male folk don't say we want "a male friend" because we all know what that means. You want "one" friend... to confide in. And yet you don't want to be honest about who you are? That's not friendship.

I emphatically do not "highly disapprove" of anyone doing anything they enjoy, as long as it does not harm others. I apologize if I didn't make that clear enough in the OP. I thought I had.


Yet here you are, being harmful. And insisting you're not when the people you're harming say that you are. So yes, it's on purpose. That's a you problem.

I did not intend to attack or judge anyone...
I have no problem with anyone posting pics of themselves if they enjoy that, and as long as it hurts no one else. IF you feel pressured to do so, please don't give into that.


You cannot both say that you require "sexual attraction" to create a friendship (another sign you're male: women know we don't need sexual attraction to be friends with anyone) then say you don't need photos to establish that. If anyone does feel pressured to share pics, that's not your problem or place to correct it.

TL;DR: you want to be secretive, insist you are not who you say you are, have "a female friend" to carry your emotional load that you are also sexually attract
2 years

You’re fine china

The reason he devalues me as not "classy" is because I am the type who shares photos of myself that he doesn't approve of but feels entitled to, and knows I would never do it for him specifically.

It's all tone-policing to underline his slutshaming. "Tell me how I'm wrong about dehumanizing you, but only in a way that I can handle."
2 years

You’re fine china

Johano:

@GoddessRandi and LoraDayton
Wow! You need to be careful with your Screed Meters. If you keep pegging them out like that, you're going to damage the needles.

You are exactly the kind of pressure to post pics and suppress opinion to which I was referring.


My point was that you treat women like objects, not actual people, and you need to put in to these communities what you want out of them. If you want to commune with people you have to contribute to it.

You are the one broadbrushing ones as a group that you don't like, that don't meet your standards and therefore deserve scorn and scolding. Like you fully came out of the gate with that, as your one and only contribution to this community, and you're surprised people are raking you over the coals for it? Gee, wonder why lol.

And no, not everyone wraps up their self-worth in their sexual expression. Especially wrapping up their self worth in *others'* sexual expression that you think is bad or less-than because it doesn't align with your desires or standard of approval. If you know so much about cybersecurity then certainly you understand that women and femme people in particular have an interest and standard in others willing to share and put forth basics of their own.

You are not a woman, are talking about how you highly disapprove of *certain* women that you don't even know, and when some of those women come forth and express themselves, you still insist you're right about something you cannot even experience.

My point remains that you have no interest in "friendship" at all because friends consider what the other person has to say and engages with good faith. Instead you are doubling down on your not-so-subtle incel dogwhistles. You aren't special, you have said nothing new or even remotely correct, we have heard this all a thousand times from every other grayface who is furious that women don't give them what they want.

Good god get a clue and several therapy appointments lol.
2 years

You’re fine china

Johano:
I’m new to this site. I came here looking to see if I could find a female friend to talk to and confide in. After looking through the site, I find that I’m a little dismayed. Women, you don’t have to literally bare yourself to skeezy guys (you know who you are) to be accepted or considered worthwhile people to know.


"female friend to confide in" is using us as your emotional laborer. We're HUMANS. We do not exist solely for *your* comfort, entertainment, or companionship. The fact that you have the nerve to come here, with no content, no photos, no substance, then tsk-tsk at us for not being what exactly *you* want is disgusting and makes you worse than the "skeevy" ones.


Johano:
I’m not judging those who actually are exhibitionists and get off on baring their assets. However, I find it hard to believe that every woman in those pics is that way. I suspect that many of you think that you have to do that just to get the acknowledgment that you exist and are worthy of someone’s attention.


Nobody does it for you. We do it for ourselves. God forbid we might enjoy our own bodies (and another example of the blatant fatphobia that fetishists relish: assuming fat women show off their body for anothers' approval without ever considering we enjoy our own)

Try empathy and "being that friend" to confide in that you so clearly feel entitled to and LISTEN to women instead of slut-shaming them.

Johano:Well, I am here to tell you that there are plenty of people, just like me, who want to be your friend. Yeah, I am initially attracted to you because of your size and shape, but every relationship has to start somewhere. I will respect you and treat you as another worthy human.


Nothing you have done, demonstrated, said, or intend to do even remotely qualifies as respect. Your entire post is about shaming women and how you feel entitled to us. Especially when you fully admit in your comment that you are "befriending" them based on one-sided sexual attraction.

If you aren't friends with people because you like them *as people* and fully admit it's because you find them attractive physically first, guess what! That's just treating them like an object and there's no room for respect in there at all.

Johano:I am from the Deep South, and I travel to New Orleans and Mobile every hear for Mardi Gras. Every year, there are women who will flash their breasts to get a handful of cheap beads thrown at them from the floats. I always think to myself, “I would give you flowers and my undivided attention, and you wouldn’t have to flash a single piece of your anatomy.”


And what about the men who walk around without tops, not just at Mardi Gras but anywhere? Why are you still going to Mardi Gras, noticing all these abominable, uncouth, exhibitionist bare breasts, giving your money to this economy, if you think you can do so much better? What makes you think that women *want* flowers and *your* undivided attention? What if some women just love flashing their tits and having fun without your approval or involvement?

Johano:If there are women on this site who just want to have someone attracted to them, not “in spite of” them being round and soft, but BECAUSE of that, and then have that person treat them with old-fashioned, deep south respect, dignity, and charm, then drop me a line. As we say down here, “You are fine china, so quit letting men use you once and throw you away like a cheap paper plate.”


If the only reason you want to "befriend" a woman is *because* she is fat... boy have I got news for you! That makes you Primo Skeevo.

Women are not china. We are not delicate. We are not objects. We. Are. Human. Beings. That do not owe you a goddamn thing, ever.
2 years

Has anyone seen the movie, “the whale”?

Literally explaining how it is the opposite of good and actually very harmful to fat people (and not subjectively) so why am I not surprised that you come in here, add absolutely nothing of value to a thread, except to goad further the behavior you pretend to snide at, while also clearly making the statement "I'd rather harm more fat people for my own entertainment"

The movie is not good. It is vile. It is propaganda and uses fat people as an object. Your response makes it pretty clear that aligns with your values.
2 years

Audiobooks for feedist fiction

The feedist community is super active there!
2 years

Has anyone seen the movie, “the whale”?

I mean my point here is that I literally did not tell him not to say it. I can't and won't stop anybody from saying anything like that I was literally just trying to point out like hey when we use this language this is why it's harmful. But yeah the response to that without any command really says a lot!
2 years

Has anyone seen the movie, “the whale”?

Okay, and? This is a forum not a private message. Kind of interesting you are so insistent on silencing a woman lol. I also ended my end of the conversation. If you're going to attack my character (poorly!) I am certainly going to defend it.
2 years