This ^^^^

In weight gaining, the turtle almost always wins out over the hare. Not that really rushing it for a while mightn't be fun, but people can burn out from focusing on one thing for too long (to really maximize short term gains does take a lot of focus, as you have to overcome your bodies instincts).

In really big gains there will almost always be plateaus along the way, so looking month to month even becomes less something to think about that year to year. If you think about how much she could gain over five years, for example, you see that while she needs to gain quite a bit each year it doesn't need to be an extraordinary amount per month.

(Of course, for a long term commitment to being fat, she might want to be in a long term committed relationship (i.e. married)? Gaining to that sort of size will really limit what she can do, so knowing that she has somebody who will always be there might make her more confident as her gain draws more notice and her size makes things more difficult?)

One of my recurring fantasies is having a much fatter and more out of shape feeder who happily makes me the fatter and more out of shape one.

Yah, my first thoughts around this topic came from Jack Spratt and his wife too, glad to see someone else

You don't sound pathetic at all! Just human, dealing with issues that come up in many relationships (not identical, but general theme). But that others go through something similar doesn't mean that your own personal situation isn't a very big deal. And sometimes talking about it can help crystalize some thoughts and help you move on to the next step in that thought process, so please never apologize for talking about it.

And yes, that added detail really makes him look pretty bad. He was really chasing that fantasy kink fulfillment even when it wasn't being freely offered. It really sounds like both he has a lot to apologize for, but also that he needs to find ways to get his kink under control. (When you are doing something that destructive to happiness and good relationships, you don't have it under control)

To me that is part of the appeal, to find out how you look once you get fatter. It isn't anything you can really control, so you just kind of have to go for it on blind faith that you will like it.

That said, 200 pounds at your size won't be anything dramatic (at least, based on my experience -- I'm about your height)

Your belly will curve out some and be noticeable some of the time, but still something you can hide pretty well with the right clothes. Your face will soften up some but you shouldn't have a very dramatic double chin or anything. If you gain rapidly you'll notice the extra weight, but in general that isn't enough to really stop you from doing anything, it just might slow you down a bit on the more intense activities. And of course you'll need larger clothes, but you'll still be able to get them in standard stores.

I didn't really start to feel or look (to my eyes) noticeably fat until nearly 220. But then again, my thinnest adult weight had been 170, so I wasn't as used to thinness as you.

Totally what you said about cute! Especially something about things like elbow roles, wrists that are just creases, chubby hands, and other not-generally-erogenous-zone areas that round out.

That is a tough situation, and I feel so sorry for you. I'm going to bounce around a couple of ways of looking at the situation, however, just in case it helps.

On the negative side he concealed this relationship, and he has a sort of emotional intimacy with this other person -- for someone with a kink, sharing a kink with someone is certainly akin to sex, so looking at it like he'd been sexting someone is pretty fair.

On the less negative side, he obviously already knew about this kink when he met you, realized that you didn't share it, and decided that he wanted to share his life with you anyway -- that you were worth far more than having his kinks directly fulfilled. And he found a way to indirectly keep his kinks managed without bringing it into your joint life. I could imagine him convincing himself that this was the smart way to manage it all, that he wasn't seeing this other person or having physical intimacy so that it wasn't cheating, and he wasn't tempted to push you into something that you aren't into. (I'm not saying that he made a wise decision, but I can imagine the path leading to it. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, and all that).

Wishing the two of you a path out of this swamp, and brighter days ahead.

I'm really sorry to hear that you heard in a bad way, and how it is affecting your relationship. Best wishes on the two of you finding a way past this.

If there is anything you would like to ask, or if you just want a chance to vent to a stranger who doesn't know you, feel free to post here, or to start a new thread. Or speaking for myself, feel free to send a PM (I suspect many others would be glad to listen privately too, but I can't speak for them).

One thing to note is that there is quite a bit of variety in these kinks, not everyone likes/wants the same things, not everyone is into it in the same way or degree, etc. And of course, anonymously online some people will exaggerate or just fantasize. So not everything you read here will reflect your husband. But it will give you a general idea of these sorts of things.

Again, feeling sorry that you were hurt, and wishing you healing.

Sounds like a perfect anniversary! Enjoy

Congrats! Going to try and push for a new high and break 300?