He's inconsistent because he's married, insecure, and fatphobic. His own behavior is right there in front of you. It doesn't matter if you or anyone else you know is the butt of the fat joke; they are by definition at the expense of all fat people, and you are one of them so it is also indirectly at your expense. He chooses to devalue people like you publicly for all the same reasons anyone (including and ESPECIALLY many fat fetishists) is fatphobic. Many people who fetishize and/or are attracted to fat bodies are angry about it and so you will see behavior like this.

It has nothing to do with you.

I've had two very distinct situations in my life that reflect what you're experiencing here and I can't stress it enough: he's unavailable and if that changes, it's not going to be because of you trying to do the mental and emotional labor for him.

You do not need to prove your worth to others who choose to openly devalue you. Maybe he really does like you! Maybe he doesn't and he's just confused and frustrated. Him being married makes it even worse and harder on everyone. No one gets out of those situations unscathed. No one!

But facts are facts and it's not your job to read his weak, stale tea leaves.

I dealt with binge eating from a very young age (started around 12) due to intense trauma, but it made me feel awful about myself, not better. It was simply the only thing about my life that I could control and that brought me consistent and reliable pleasure; food. Still deal with disordered eating issues on and off as an adult and only now at 35 do I think I'm finally getting a handle on it.

I actually wrote about it more recently at length if you want to take a look
loradayton.com/2022/11/18/i-have-something-to-confess/

I actually have a fantasy involving this! Having a feeder send me on a scavenger hunt of sorts to cafes and dining establishments or just taking me to them. Standard servings and snacks throughout the day but just getting more and more full as it goes, without knowing what or where is next!

ahhh that makes a lot more sense, thanks!

I don't think that's it either because this happened before privacy was a feature and the privacy setting only works for "guests" aka people not logged in at all.

I've noticed this happen to me as well but it's often when I see people in the chat. If that's the case, that their profile has been removed, then how would they have access to chat? Or when I am browsing profiles and can see them populate based on my search criteria?

There isn't a substance in that way that simply causes weight gain and nothing else.

Your best bet is to get calorie and nutrient dense supplements like protein powder, bars, ensure, etc.

Keep in mind:

1) diet tracker apps are designed to inspire you to consume *less* food. The "gain" they calculate is likely based on body building and lean mass

2) FF is only meant for entertainment.

3) macros are more important than calories.

4) try several different calculators and include macros too. Your body can only handle so much of specific nutrients a day or even per meal. The rest won't just "be extra" your body will try to get rid of it first. In the case of protein, you can never convince your body to retain it. There is a limit your body can handle each day and you'll pee out the rest.

Your body still requires nourishment to function. Can you gain with just a calorie surplus? Sure. But after you put on 20lbs you'll feel like crap and the moment you change your diet you'll lose some. Same with weight loss -- a calorie deficit is a deficit but whether you're trying to lose or gain your metabolism still needs certain things to function at all.

Check out different macro profiles for your goals, use different calculators, and adjust accordingly.

You need a *surplus* of the 2500 over your BMR to gain. That's where the 3k or more figure comes from. Figure out your BMR--chances are it has changed since the meds. It may also depend how long you've been on them.

So if your BMR is 2200 you'd need that plus the surplus to gain.

I've been on Adderall for about 10 weeks and it's affected my appetite but I don't think it's had any impact on my actual caloric needs yet. Though it's hard to tell since my appetite is different now. By itself I don't think it affects your macro requirements just makes you forget to actually eat (I use a macro tracker as well and honestly if I hadn't been using it before I started taking Adderall I'd likely have lost a LOT of weight).

My experience just with Adderall was that it actually boosted my appetite temporarily when I started, the first week or so. Not a lot. And I'm not a gainer so I still mostly stuck to my plan. It tapered and then around a month in I started experiencing the appetite loss but my diet is still just about the same and for my mental health I don't weigh myself but I still feel the same size. I go in in a few weeks for an exam so I'll find out then.

Keep in mind this is also affected not just by the meds but your specifics and any interactions with them as well, plus if you're on IR or XR and dosage etc.