Changing self image

NewBalloon:
Hello, everyone! I'm new to the site. I'm a 6-foot tall male and have gained over 100lbs in the last three years, going from a fit four-workouts-a-week (and as a former fat kid/teen, fittest in my life) 175lbs up to an accidental, then intentional but temporary 307lbs (heaviest ever) before life events caused me to drop down to my current weight of 275lbs. I haven't been below 270lbs since gaining.

Obviously, I'm not the heaviest I've ever been. But today something happened to me that made me feel fatter than ever and I'm afraid/excited that it may have completely altered my self image. I guess I'm just hoping for feedback, shared experiences, or thoughts on what took place and how, right now, I feel it really changed things. But I don't know how yet...and I don't really know if it was a good experience or not.

Today I went to be fit for a suit. The employee who helped me was a young, short, and skinny young woman and the seamstress who made notes for alterations was a little older, tall, and slim. At first I underestimated my jacket size, asking to see a 44 when I needed a 50. Then I asked to see a size 42 pants but had to go up to 46 easily. When I asked for a shirt she took my measurements -- as I stood there I felt huge and heavy. She went and found a shirt, I put everything on and stepped up onto the viewing platform surrounded by panoramic full-body mirrors.

I don't know if it's because of the fit of the suit, or the look, or the tucking in of the shirt (I don't often since gaining), or the mirrors, or the two slender women standing beside me...I saw myself in a new light and to be honest, I freaked myself out.

I felt big and round and wide and like I was exposed. My love handles were so wide and pronounced even sucking in my gut seemed vain and pointless next to my whole silhouette. I didn't know how round my waist was or how padded and fat my back has become. I'm a little panicked, a very excited, but I feel like I've misunderstood what people's perception of me has been for so long. I'm 275, down from 315...so what must I have REALLY looked like before? I feel like a veil has been lifted and I don't know if I'm going to diet hard and try to drop it...or, since I'm here already, push things further...maybe lose later? I don't think my mental image of myself kept up with my gain.

Has anyone else freaked themselves out with their body? What did you do?

Tl;Dr: Suit fitting made me feel my size like never before and I'm both excited/terrified of what happens to my self image from here.


i think your reaction is pretty common. i have gained 200 lbs over several years, and i have felt that way a number of times.
the first time was when someone showed me a video, and in it i stood with my hands on my hips. at first it didn't register that it was me, one of those "who is that fat guy?" moments. i was probably 240-250 lbs, so almost a hundred pounds into my gain.
this has happened a few times since. most recently when i was at a hotel and the elevator had windows on each wall - the first time in a long time i had seen my body from all sides. it was another, "wow, i am *fat*" moment. until then i didn't realize how other people saw my body at over 350 lbs.

so i think what you experienced is common for people who gain a lot. how did those sensations of feeling exposed make you feel?
3 years

Most weight gained in a short amount of time.

chubbybunnywriter:
*ahem* about to hit 200lb gained in less than a year...


ok, you should win an award for that gain. i thought my gain of 100 lbs in a year and a half was a lot - but now i think i am in the little leagues! smiley
3 years

After achieving your goal weight

YumiestCookie:
For one thing, this is supposing that you'd be able to lose the extra weight... which is far from certain.

Also, by then you'll have gotten used to being fat and most likely will have gained new habits (walking less, sitting more, overeating at most meals, going for less healthy foods than before...) so I think you'll be more likely to gain more weight, whether you want it or not.

But you know what they say, right? "Once you go fat you never go back." ;-)


this was my experience... i posted elsewhere on "the point of no return" where i couldn't even lose the weight when i tried, and i was just gaining involuntarily.

looking back though, i am in the happiest place i have ever been, so no regrets yet!
3 years

Finding my ex's lost weight.

i have sort of had this experience.... after being a feeder forever, i met a girl (now my ex) who was already a ssbbw and didn't want to gain.

after awhile i think her habits kind of rubbed off on me, and i started to gain. i did gain a bunch of weight when we were together, but when we parted she was still easily 200 lbs heavier than me.

we have stayed in touch, although we live in different cities and she has a new bf... i have a new gf... but she has lost a bunch of weight, while i have continued to gain.

tbh i am very curious how far her weight loss will continue. her bf is in great shape (kind of like i was when i met her, lol)
3 years

Men - is fat burying you below the waist? what do you do and how do you feel about it?

Weetabix:
I believe that once your FUPA engulfs your unit then you pleasure yourself with it inside the fat.

Ssbhmjoe:
Understandable. It it's a lot of work. Trust me. Still easier to just wank it. I do normally get my self started that way though......


i have talked to a couple of big men who could achieve this, even "hands free," but i think it is rare. most cannot. my fupa pretty much has buried my penis, even when hard, but i cannot. as ssbhmjoe said, it is easier to lie on my side and wank. smiley
3 years

How do you wipe your ass.

Feedmesqueezeme:
I don’t have any issues but you can get bidet attachments for the toilet


bidets are very uncommon in north america, but i have been reading about them for awhile now. i don't have issues wiping, but bidets seem to offer a better sanitary solution in general.
3 years

Too rude people on this site...


EIIe:
I see a lot of men on here quick to criticize women but rarely hold a mirror up to themselves.


this is soooooo true.

guys, if you keep having unsatisfying interactions with others over and over again, it's probably not them - it's you. so take a moment and examine: who are you interacting with? how do you interact with them? how do you think they perceive that? mentally step into their shoes and see if from their perspective.
3 years

Diaries/vlogs

Cameron22:
I was wondering if anyone kept regular diaries or vlogs of their gaining journeys, how they feel, thoughts, what is going on in their life, recipes, weight, measurements, videos etc? Sorry if this is in the wrong area I'm new to all this


there is something like that here, if you go to someone's profile and look at the "gainers."

i have not used it, but i know a bunch of users here have tracked their gains that way.
3 years

Face getting round, when?

CuriousAmy13:
What BMI/weight did you notice your face getting rounder?


it's so different for everyone. i put on more than 100 lbs and it didn't change my face in a significant way. it's been looking fuller more recently, and the double chin eventually arrived, lol.
3 years