Hmmmm, I dunno. If that's the kind flat tone they use, it's just not nice. Folks have got to just come to terms with the fact that some, if not most fat folks are gonna be sensitive to the tone of a comment.
Example: if my date pulls up her shirt for the first time and see just how big her belly is, I'm not gonna say, 'wow, that's pretty big' in a monotone voice.
I'm gonna grin & say 'woah! Look at what a big treasure you've been hiding!' More likely, I would omit the word 'big' altogether.
Also, things might change if you meet a real person who flat out likes the way you look.
Having come to terms with being an FA a long time ago means I've also changed my mind about those "critical areas" I'm not sure what you specifically mean by that, but I'm willing to bet those have turned into some of my favorite areas!
In conclusion: I don't really think this is a "you" problem. Just make it known how you feel these things. There is no shame in being sensitive.
Oh yeah, and welcome to the forum!
2 years
Oh my gosh bro! We are getting seriously carried away here! I mean I think we are on the same here and love to talk about it all just to help me to understand things clearly (one of the only reasons to engage in discussion in the first place, amirite?)
But this is FF...and I just wanna have a pretty girl happily nibble doughnuts from my hand.🤪
For the here & now, maybe we should look more mundane things we could do to make the forums a nicer place to be.
What say you, brother? ✊️
2 years
Enas:
Patriarchy (systematized) is still not the entier problem. It's definitely on a deeper level than the end results, but i think this goes even deeper. For starters a lot of the jobs today are overworking their workers. And when a father returns from work overworked, he might not exactly have the energy left to also be a decent parent. Same with mothers that work on these kind of jobs.
And then there is school! Which is either public, or it's a business that looks to earn money. And in the context of our current socioeconomic system, these businesses that we put our children in, are trying to maximize profits. This always leads down to a worse quality of education. And the educational system, no matter the lessons, is an institution initially designed to produce efficient workers. Not decent human beings!
Im telling you the roots go really deep!
I think I get what what you're saying. Capitalism has become soo efficient at exploiting workers (us) that we might find ourselves contemplating doing some mighty underhanded stuff just to avoid...y'know....dying. Or loosing the house or medical coverage.
That certainly isn't patriarchy...and you can't just call it out to make it all better unfortunately.
2 years
AaronM:
Well, as you said: the guys are the perpetrators and the patriarchy is the system that allows it happen for the most part. Perhaps you should address them instead of the ladies?
Not sure what women can do about it other than learn a very high level of Kung fu...
Munchies:
Honestly? There's only so much. The sad truth is that no matter what we do or say, most men will not listen until another man says something.
Also, patriarchy is not just a case of gross men being gross. It's also systematized as well. So even if we somehow got every man on FF not to be gross towards women, it wouldn't solve the problem entirely. However, it would help immensely. The more allies we women have, the better.
I forgot to say that! Yes, men must call out their fellows when they're gross. Absolutely!
That's what I meant by addressing the men, but I wasn't clear, my bad.
2 years
Okay, I got it! I need to add text in the about me part.
I knew it would be embarrassingly obvious!
Still curious why you don't see the dating bit. Do I need to the unlock social side of things, I wonder?
2 years
AaronM:
So I'm trying to get verified as well, but I can only seem to get my profile 97% complete.
Can someone please have a look at my profile and see if I'm missing anything?
Maybe the last 3% is just getting verified? If so I already sent a verification photo and I wait a bit.
Thanks in advance!
Munchies:
Looking at your profile, I think I see the problem. You didn't fill out the dating section. It's possible to have your profile 100% complete and not be verified. I know this because I'm not verified and my profile is at 100%.
Is there anything in particular that you can see? I put in zero kids, but it doesn't actually show up if you do that, so that part looks unfilled out. I tried putting in an actual number and saved it, but that didn't help either...
2 years
Well, as you said: the guys are the perpetrators and the patriarchy is the system that allows it happen for the most part. Perhaps you should address them instead of the ladies?
Not sure what women can do about it other than learn a very high level of Kung fu...
2 years
So I'm trying to get verified as well, but I can only seem to get my profile 97% complete.
Can someone please have a look at my profile and see if I'm missing anything?
Maybe the last 3% is just getting verified? If so I already sent a verification photo and I wait a bit.
Thanks in advance!
2 years
Also listening might be more of a skill than some realize. You wanna connect? Try hearing people out...it can even be fun!
2 years
PhoenixChimera:
Trans, sadly.
Dang!
Read your bio, I hope you can distract yourself with some other hobbies or something. We're here for ya!
2 years
