As far as my attraction to fat women is concerned, I've never been "in the fat closet."

It's not that I don't care what other people think. It's just that if someone wants to fault me for being attracted to fat women, I see it as their problem, not mine. Not everyone can have my good taste.

I understand the fear of ridicule and the disapproval of others. The only legitimate reason for someone to be embarrassed or ashamed of being attracted to fat people is if there is something inherently wrong with it, and there is nothing wrong with being attracted to fat people.

Still, there is the fear of ridicule and disapproval.

I've never been embarrassed to have a fat woman on my arm, or to have one on both arms. However, until recently, I've had those same feelings of embarrassment and shame and the fear of ridicule and disapproval about my desire to be fat, be fattened, and enjoy the process of getting fatter.

When I thought about it, it didn't make sense that I'd feel embarrassment and shame about one, but not the other.

So I took a close look about why I don't feel embarrassment or shame about being attracted to fat women.

This could easily be summed up with the statement, "There is nothing wrong with being attracted to fat people," but in order to get past the embarrassment and shame of my feedee side, I had to look at it a little more closely.

...and here's my perspective.

I am the ultimate authority about my life.

I care about my family, friends, and to a much lesser degree, people I don't know, but in the end I'm the one who has to live with the consequences of the choices I do or do not make.

My friends and family know me well enough to know that I wouldn't allow them to put be down for being attracted to fat women. (In reality, I don't put up with any abuse.)

How is this?

I'd treat it as if it's their problem, not mine, because that's what it is.

...and if someone were unwilling to accept me as I am... well...

I don't need that person in my life.

I am the ultimate authority about my life. I am the one who has to live with the choices I do and don't make, and there is no reason to allow others to make my decisions for me.

When I applied the same thought process to my desire to gain, my desire to be fat, being fat, and the pleasure of it all, any shame or embarrassment I felt about it disappeared.

There was one more hurdle I still had to get over. If I were to allow myself to get fat, it might cause fewer women to be attracted to me, and I really like women.

Let me rephrase that...

I REALLY like women.

I didn't like the idea of doing something that limited my options.

As much as I enjoy female attention, I know that I'll never be satisfied with a woman who isn't turned on by creating a fatter and fatter me. It's much better to find that out early on, than it is to find that out weeks, months, or years into a relationship, so "limiting my options" really works to my advantage because I wouldn't want to be in a committed relationship with a woman who isn't a feeder anyway.

I'm not currently gaining for health reasons, and because like sex, it's so much more fun to do it with the right woman than it is to do it with just myself.

...but I'm doing it for myself, and not because someone else might get upset about or judge me for how I choose to live my life.

I can't believe how long it's been since I've posted on these boards.

I've always found these discussions interesting, and at this point, I'm reasonably convinced that female feeders are all over the place.

If I had to venture a guess, I'd say that probably 20% or more of women in any area are attracted to fat men to some degree, and many are also turned on by fattening a man up.

It's just that most people don't advertise their turn-ons, so it isn't usually obvious.

If you're looking for a specific 'type' of woman, you're probably going to have to date a lot of women.

Yeah, I know... It SOUNDS a lot easier than it is. We men have a built in fear of 'approaching' women we are attracted to that seems to be hardwired into our DNA.

Sometimes it'd almost seem easier walk out in front of a firing squad than to approach a woman we are attracted to, have a short conversation, and leave with her contact info.

So, when it comes to starting conversations, getting contact info, date requests, etc. you'll just need to feel the fear, and do it anyway.

Who knows, maybe It'll help to give your cojones a good soak in a vat of Miracle Grow beforehand.

I do have to say that, at the moment, I'm not actively dating or gaining for reasons I won't go into... right here, right now.

However, I have probably done more than my 'fair share' of dating, so I think what I have to say in this context has merit.

Before you even begin 'looking' you have to get very clear about what you want, what you don't want... what you are willing to accept, and what you aren't willing to accept.

The benefit to this, is that you'll be more inclined to notice women who have qualities that you want. When you encounter women who have qualities you are not willing to accept, you'll know to end things quickly.

My suggestion is to date many women at the same time. There is nothing wrong with 'seeing' several women at the same time, as long as you don't lead any of them to believe she is the only one... and when you agree to 'see' someone exclusively, don't cheat.

Most women aren't going to be what you want anyway. If you date just one woman at a time, you probably won't be moving along fast enough to find the woman you are actually looking for. Worse yet, you'll cling or commit to a woman who isn't right for you.

Since I haven't actually gone out looking for a female feeder for myself, this next part is based on my best guesses... but I think I'm pretty close to the mark.

If you want to catch the attention of a female feeder, it's probably best to flaunt your fatness and your feedeeness. (Yeah, I did just make that word up, but it works.)

Let women you date know that you're looking for someone who likes to cook... a lot. Don't be shy about eating fattening goodies, and huge portions.

If she suggests that eating 'that way' will probably cause you to put on a lot of weight, just agree and continue eating. ( Maybe say, "Yeah... probably," and then take another bite. )

If she is an feeder or an FFA, she'll probably enjoy it. If she isn't she might be upset or disgusted...

Either way, you win. If she enjoys it, she'll probably let you know in some way. If she's upset or disgusted, you've just found out that she isn't what you want, and you can move on quickly.

That was awesome eagledancer. I particularly like the suggestion of doing ecology checks.

I know this thread is a little old, but I wanted to reply anyway.

It's been a while since I've been on the FF forums, but I was the person who put together the subliminals, and put them in a semi-hidden area of one of my websites.

I've recently let go of all my websites because I didn't have time to keep up on them, and they were costing me more than I made from them.

I didn't realize there was an interest in my subliminals. I'll have to consider coming up with another way to make them available.

I have to say that the Ericksonian style of self hypnosis will probably be more effective than any subliminal file I could create.

Sex is an area that a person can be selfish, and generous at the same time.

I don't think that youtube is exactly a reliable source of information, but I thought you'd find this video on psychiatry interesting.


I stumbled across it the other day when I was looking for information on experiments that have been done on the use of affirmations.

I'm glad to see a well thought out, and comprehensive response. I am interested in bringing to light information that can help men who are feedees learn what they can do/become (in addition being fat) to attract women who are FFAs and feeders. I am also interested in ways that male feedees might be able to pick an FFA or woman who is a feeder out of a crowd.

I realize that many women don't realize this, but most single men are terrified to walk up to a woman, and just say hello. I know this sounds silly, but its true. I've helped several guys deal with these issues before I stopped coaching because too many of my friends were listening to my advice long enough to find someone they really liked, at which point they'd get married, and drop of the face of the planet.

I don't want to limit the scope of this thread to just the things I am suggesting, so if you have suggestions that you think might be helpful, please feel free to post them. Dos and Don'ts would be great too, as long as we keep out obvious things that fall within the realm of good etiquette like, "Don't stick your finger up your nose while pretending to pee with a bananna."

I am in a relationship, so I am not asking this for myself so much as I am asking for the guys who are looking for a feeder or ffa.

What is it, specifically, that catches your attention?

What are things that I can look for before making an approach, and what are ways that I can identify a female feeder, and an FFA after making an approach?

How can a male feedee/gainer get a female feeder/ffa to approach him?

I'd have to agree with you... and I wasn't targeting my comment at anyone in particular, I was just being funny.

On a more serious note:

I'd imagine that there are just about as many women who are into gaining/feeding as there are men. Because of current social pressures women - as a group - (Yes I realize this doesn't apply to all women.) tend to be less vocal about their sexual wants/needs.

Also, because of the huge difference in the number of posts submitted here by men, a woman thinking of posting here might feel a bit like being on that nude beach with the "sausage" fest on the movie Eurotrip.

On women, I like both pot bellies and rolls. On me... I'd prefer rolls, but that's probably because I'm growing a pot belly.