Influx is right, but I'd also say it is a bit more nuanced than that. Bodies will change and you need to accept that if you are going to be in for the long haul. So commit yourself to supporting her. -- commit to yourself and to her. This is first, bith in importance and in timing.

But you can convince her that you think she looks great with the weiggt on her, and that by no means do you think she is too big.

Also really listen to her, and ask questions, about why she wants to lose. She feels unhealthy, no energy, can't find nice clothes easily, feet are sore, her blood sugar readings are high, her mother is on her case, she doesn't feel desirable ... There can be all sorts of reasons, and honestly some of them probably do suggest weight loss. But a lot can honestly be better addressed by other means, that are more apt to work in the long run, like better food choices, more physical activity, more support from you in some areas, some changes to how your relationship works, etc.

And also remember that very few people lose substantial amounts of weight and keep it off in the long run. Even if she is determined to lose weiggt, support and patience can be your friends.

Over the first six years we were together my wife gained 90 pounds unintentionally. (I also gained 40 pounds, but that was more intentional.). She just loves food!



I'd suggest keep weighing yourself so you know how much you are gaining. Also maybe make some changes to at least your side of things, like bringing in more vegetables. Gaining is great, but you may not feel great after a while of unhealthy living.

Here is a phrase that might work for you: mobility challenged. Fat enough that getting around is hard, and help may be appreciated, but they can do basics on their own. Like, you drop them off at the door and then go park the car, you walk around the grocery store, you check that there are elevators wherever you go because stairs are hard.

Anyway, that is kind of my fantasy ultimate state. Not what I've chosen in life, but it sure is hot to think about. And yes, every act of laziness is a turn on to me.

So, how did it go?

I was fascinated by fat as a kid, but when puberty hit my first 'sexual' fantasy was about joining a weight gain club with the two chubby girls and other chubby boy in my class, me starting off the thinnest but being the clear fattest by the end (which would win me the right to date the fatter of the girls). So I was into erotic gain from the time I was into erotic anything.

The original post made a very stark distinction between what is now, and perceived gaining lifestyle. It doesn't have to be so black and white. You may drop some activities of you gain, but you may pick up others that suit you better. Or maybe less total activity, but still a fair bit. And similarly with food, you can incrementally change.

Unless of course you want to do something dramatic!

Another shaving related one. I noticed thatmy electric razor wasn't giving me as close a shave as it used to. I made sure I was keeping it well charged and cleaned, and eventually even replaced the shaving head, but it didn't get better.

Then I happened to lose some weight, and the shave improved. Then I realized that when my face got softer, that razor just struggled. I've noticed the same again when my weight has been back up.

When I saw the title I thought that it would be about being squeezed into too small chairs, but this is even more precious

The AD36 thing is really interesting; how had I not heard of that before?

But to respond to the original topic: I haven't chosen to take my life that way, but this sort of thing has always been in my fantasies, and probably always will.

I've put little value on either of masculinity or thinness since I can remember. But I also don't like to draw a lot of attention or make a fuss, so I have always sort of hung in on the mildly fat and not very macho side of things, finding a point where I can live with myself while still fitting in and not upsetting people close to me. The thought of somebody recognizing my real inclinations and forcing me to follow them, though .... Unf!

Although forcing is a funny word here, because it would probably be like "I'm going to make you so fat and femme, whether you want it or n..." Me jumping in "OK! Do we start now? Are you into funnel feeding or more about the constant snacking? I can go out and buy gear either way, on the way we can talk about how fast you want me to gain. Were you planning hormones or just the androgyny of fatness? If you are thinking about changing what I wear, we should talk about my colour palette before you go shopping, and I already have a pretty good idea of the sizes I'd need ..."

I love reading stories like this. I hope things are going well.