performing my job=no problem
getting to my job- problem

Although not extremely obese compared ot others
my height and body type have made it impossible for me to drive myself safely
maybe if i could get the seat to go back further.
My legs are so big that i have trouble breaking fast if i need to
and the steering wheel is agaisnt my body so its hard to turn.

I'm lucky that i can work from home BUT i prefer to go go into work to seperate my home life from my work life.

subdued manipulation and domination

I’ve gone through a series of feeders or FA since 2019 and none of the breakup had ot do with weight. When I reached his 250 goal and he wanted me to have kids that was th deal breaker for me. When I topped 300 with the next one and he wanted to move us across the country I had to break it off.
Chris made 400 his goal for me and I reached it. I got up to almost 440 and now ive done the yo yo thing and im around 410. April 1 we will have one final feeding session.. or maybe as I get closer to the date I’ll gain some more. Definitely play around with it all more.
April 2 I start losing and he supports me on this. I think he is curious to see how much flabby dripping loose skin I’ll end up with. I really am too. May as well explore off of this lifestyle.
Someone who breaks it off after fattening someone… is not in a relationship for love. Just for the kink. I don’t like those people

went to a party
30 people
and the food was laid out on table so it was serve your self
they ran out of the main dish because they only bought 30 servings
I took 4 servings.
its not like anyone could tell how much a serving was. and i wasnt the only one.
I felt bad... BUT it was really good lasagna.

I love that Chris is thin. The contrast is exciting. I'm over 400 and he is close to 150. I guess if i had made it to 450 then i would have been 3x as big as him.
The surgilube injections have given him a distinct look though. Looks like we might be going ahead with another massive add for a big lump of cash.
but yeah. opposite for sure

yes. watch Sexbots on Netflix. its pretty poorly done even for a foriegn film but... i think that eventualy eveyrhting we are and can do will be done by AI or robots.

1. Do you ever regret it? - -YES. But iv accepted this as what I am now.
2. Do you frequently regret it?---- I used to. My regret was waking up and not being able to get out of bed, I never thought about being trapped like that. It scared me.
3. Do you have mixed feelings about it? ---- less mixed now. Mostly acceptance. Now. I'll never be trainign for a half marathon again so why hold on to the past.
4. If you had it to do over, would you still do it? ----no. I would rather be back in low 100’s. until I get into one of my moods, then I would want to do it all over again and more.
5. If you had it to do over, would you have started gaining even sooner? ---- I had two minor forays into gaining in MS. When I get into one of my idealistaic moods I would want to have continued gaining then.
6. Do you plan to gain more in the future, stay the same or lose weight? Or are you just going to see what happens? ---- Our plan now is for me to stay close to 400 till April 1. Then I want to lose. BUT, ALSO, ive been unable to get up and while it was scary it was exciting and I proved to myself that I could lose to get back to being mobile again. SOOOO I will definitely explore temporary immobility in the future.

I have gotten so used to feeling my lower gut at home alone that i forget sometimes and will rest my hand there at work or in public.
its at least as soft as my breasts

When i was in MS i had two times that i was a "victim" of FA and encouragers.
1. My sister caused me to gain some weight because i was mean to her chubby friend. it was probably only 20 lbs or so.
2. also in MS I had a crush on a man who gave me lots of candy and debbie cakes and encouraged me to eat. he said he made him happy. He was careful to not allow anything sexual to happen between us. Mom, stepped in when she saw how much weight i gained my 7th grade year and locked me down pretty tight. everything she did made me worse.
but she found my stash of snacks and did daily sweeps of my room. She never found the Trac phone he got me though. I still have it.

Watching, feeling, experiencing the changes my body goes through has been a major turn on for me.
I only have a few pics of the pre ankle injury of me and she is hot. training for a half marathon.

There were milestones along the way that i enjoyed that i wish i could go and experience again:
Getting stuck in a seat for the first time.
being filled to where it hurts to move.
The shock of noticing my lower stomach against my thighs with each step.
Breaking a chair
ripping pants
the look on peoples faces when they hadnt seen me in 50---100--200--250 added pounds.
especially the look on my mom.
even the first time i wasnt able to get out of bed on my own. i was truly horrified when i reaized what i had done. but now, looking back. it was also exciting.
I can now get out of bed on my own but in the back of my mind i want to be trapped liked that again. Ive proved that i can lose weight back to mobility so i guess there is no harm