"Yoyo" gainer here facing a fork (ahem) in the road and so seeking a bad influence to help guide me toward the path that continues my quarantine-induced fattening.

I've put on 20lbs, only partially accidentally. The thought of piling on a lot more is, frankly, the hottest thought in the world. But then I have sensible thoughts about losing the 20lbs. Internal struggle. Currently 50/50 split.

Anyone (female) fancy getting a kick out of swinging the odds via some gentle persuasion and then watching as I get really fat?

Thanks, kaliorexi, for you fascinating and insightful post. It’s the best I’ve read on FF in a long time.

Unfortunately, as you can see in the multiple truncated posts above, FF’s character limit means that it’s not possible to quote you. Shame the forum a software doesn’t warn us, and instead just messes up the formatting and then doesn’t allow us to delete the post... 🙄

[quote]rhcp83:
Has anyone ever spoken to a therapist about this fetish and things associated with it?I�ve been curious about what would be said by a mental health professional.

kaliorexi:
Well, speaking as a former psychology professor and family therapist who has done sex research (and in full disclosure, I went into the field to try to figure out my interest in weight-gain): Having trained many therapists, I would want a therapist to be non-judgmental and ask "what does weight-gain mean to you?" It's important to understand what the meaning of a behavior is for the person doing it, rather than the therapist projecting his or her own issues onto the patient. In a society that fat-shames and assumes fat equals death, it's hard for a therapist to not have "fat is a problem" rushing into their mind.

A psychiatrist I admire once wrote, "what we call a neurosis is the way a patient deals indirectly with his problem." In other words, if the patient deals directly with his problem, he probably doesn't need a therapist.

Just so, if a patient has gained weight because he or she is depressed, that would be a way of dealing indirectly with a problem. Maybe a relationship ended, or a loved one died and food and drink are used to "fill the feeling of emptiness." Then the treatment is to deal with the depression--not the weight-gain.

But tbh, a lot of therapists are not trained to deal with "kinks." If you say you enjoy BDSM, many therapists will not know much about it directly, and may tend to resort to stereotypes. They may feel personally uncomfortable with a kink that isn't theirs. In the field, therapists are very hesitant to be open about their own kinks, for fear of being judged by their peers. There is a concern of those not into BDSM that it's a type of sexual abuse. But for some, BDSM has been a way they have discovered of dealing/controlling their earlier experience of sexual abuse. And for many into BDSM, they aren't there because they had been sexually abused in the past.

So--if a patient/client (insurance--a patient gets meds and a client doesn't) opens up about a kink, the question should be "what does this mean for you?" If the client/patient is unhappy with the kink, then the next step is to explore if there are alternative behaviors that will provide the results engaging in the kink provides. If the client/patient isn't uncomfortable with the kink, then one of the basics of therapy--"you don't fix what's not broken."

If there are health problems due to a weight-gain kink, then that's something else, but again, the treatment should be--if the client/patient feels they need to lose weight that they would prefer to keep--then again, it's exploring alternatives that can provide some of the things the patient/client gets from being bigger.

Over the years of my being in the gainer community, I've encountered individuals who have had unpleasant interactions with therapists over this, and others who felt the therapist provided them a lot of help. As one of the other posters shared--if it's brought up but isn't seen as an issue for the patient, then the therapist should move on to work with the things that are issues.

The only other thing I'd be concerned about since in my practice I mostly saw couples--a kink that isn't shared by a couple can sometimes cause conflict. If that's the issue, then I would expect a good therapist to treat a kink no differently than anything else that causes conflict within a couple.

One theory of this stuff is that it can be thought of as a type of sexual orientation. Just as you can't magically change a gay person into a straight person in therapy, if being a gainer is indeed a type of sexual orientation, then it's unlikely a therapist can "fix a gainer" because, again--there's nothing to fix. This would be where the "patient is dealing directly with a problem." If the individual feels a need to be larger and becomes larger, they aren't dealing indirectly with a problem. If for example, a person enters into a relationship with a dominant feeder, and gains weight only to please the feeder, when gaining isn't the person's kink--then that's a problem because the person is seeking love and approval by the indirect way of gaining. If this was making the gainer upset, then as a therapist, I would want them to examine the nature of their relationship.

For "newbies" it's not uncommon in the gainer community to speak of "civilians"--those that are not into the kink of gaining. It often leads to a problem in dating or staying in a relationship, if gaining for one member is very much like a sexual orientation--the desire to gain isn't going to just "go away." But just as a straight person won't always emotionally understand what it means to be gay, a non-gainer won't fully understand why a partner wants to deliberately gain weight. This would be a situation where a therapist might help, but the problem isn't the gainer--the problem is the inte

Hormones “out of whack”? I’m intrigued. Where did you read that?

Alcohol is very high in calories. If a regular drinker suddenly abstains, it’s likely that their appetite for food will increase (mine has, in the past, during periods of abstinence) in order to replace those calories.

Good on you for cutting out the booze. 🏆

I suspect the article was making claims not supported by clinical evidence, unfortunately.

I’ve put on about 15 pounds. I didn’t really gain much in the first two months, but it really accelerated recently and my new belly fat is making my head spin.

So I’ve made a pact with the devil and committed to put on 28 pounds over the course of July and August.

Limp.

Attempting to escalate by projecting offence is a pretty a low-grade needling tactic.

Honestly, John, my point, just a playful jibe, was that you do yourself and your readers a disservice by selecting words on the grounds they make you feel clever, rather than they aid comprehension. To those with knowledge of rhetoric, you come across as a pseud.

I assume you have English as an additional language, so I’ll overlook the grammatical error.

Yes, actually, in spite of the disruption caused by Covid-19. How nice of you to ask. And yourself?

Was this an attempt to write the longest and least penetrable sentence in the history of the English language? If so, bravo, my friend. Bravo. 👏