(Friendly off topic teasing incoming...)

I mean... did they communicate something? did the audience understand it? boom, correct grammar lol

also like... I LOVE the word "like" n like that was a totally normal use of the word like cuz like "like" has like sooooo many different ways it can be used and like obviously in this post I'm like exaggerating my use of the word "like" and breaking so many other "rules" of grammar but I genuinely like the word "like" n think its rly interesting how the word has expanded uses and is like a multitool of words and like why be rigid with grammar when we can play with it to be *expressive*

*jazz hands*

Okay *yes* effective, but no pavloving without consent lol

Emphasizing a point Munchies made (thanks Munchies!):

In my experience (both when I tell a partner and when a partner tells me), I think there are to two different messages to communicate, and both are important:

1) I will *love* you at any size

2) I will be *attracted* to you at any size

I always make them separate sentences, and I also feel most reassured when they're two separate sentences.

(Obviously, only say them if they're true)

A separate idea:

Maybe normalizing attraction to fat bodies will help, without being quite as vulnerable as admitting you're into feedism.

Something like, "Babe do you know how many women like fat guys?" and then list things you like about fat guys.

You can also mention ways that being fat affirms things he values about his thin body. For example, if he wants to be strong, you could say something like "I like my man with a fat belly, because fat belly means a good appetite, and you need a good appetite for a strong body" (but like... say it sexier than me lol).

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Out of curiosity, why are you uncomfortable telling him about feedism or that you want him to get fatter? What will happen if you tell him?

Just wondering--do you already think it's unethical?

Like, you made a post asking if it was ethical (implying doubt) and you used the term "enabling", which is kind of a loaded word (to me anyway).

I think the right thing to do is listen to your conscience and not horny brain, ya know?

Personally, I would ask myself questions like "What does it mean to act in my partner's best interest in this scenario?" or "In this situation, what is the best practice regarding consent?" Cuz at the end of the day, it's all about consent.

Ideally, you'd be able to talk openly and honestly about everything involved in your dynamic: your interest in feedism, her eating habits, her weight gain, etc. That said socially systemic effects of fatphobia contribute to varying levels of boundaries/comfort with these topics. It might not be possible to have the ideal conversation.

If you can't have explicit talks about feedism, eating habits, and weight gain, you could still check for consent by discussing grocery buying. "Is there anything else you want me to buy? Or buy more of? Or buy less of/stop buying?" Etc.

Oh man, the consequences of fat shame can be unfortunately real... if medical fatphobia can exist, employment fatphobia seems like a very reasonable concern.

Based on a lot of factors (my size and build, i.e. clearly overweight/mid size, but I don't think I'm perceived as "fat"; my gender; the people around me, e.g. family, friends, and coworkers I have; etc.) I don't experience many negative comments about weight. And based on those factors--and the privilege some of them afford me--when I do get them, two options tend to work well:

1. White lies or brush off ("I have put on a few recently, huh?" or "Oh, yeah--new medication", or "I ate GOOD over the holidays", etc.)
2. The long game of helping them unlearn fatphobia

IME, the key with both is to maintain a positive attitude and to not give ground to the idea that being fat is bad/shameful/whatever, *even if they've succeeded in making me feel bad about it momentarily*. Internalized fatphobia sucks and makes me feel bad sometimes, but strategically, I perform positivity for a couple reasons:

1. If opted for a white lie or brush off, it's probably because I don't think I have the relational position/leverage to help someone change their thinking (e.g., insufficient rapport, fatphobia is too entrenched, or they hold some hierarchical position over me and it's gone to their head a bit, etc.). In other words, I lie when I think helping someone change is too risky, and I just want to end the interaction without incurring negative consequences.

2. If I opt for the long game of helping them unlearn fatphobia, I want that person to feel good when talking to me about weight, fat, etc., because ultimately I want to have several conversations with them where we iteratively progress through several levels of concepts/questioning/etc. It takes some patience to wait for and identify opportunities, and (for me at least), it can sometimes be tricky to know when to stop for the day--people can only tolerate so much challenging at once, ya know?

Expanding on this would be a whole other essay, but generally, I just ask questions and gently share information that help people to critically evaluate what they actually know about fat and health, about the moralization of fat and health, about their own thoughts/feelings about fat, and most importantly, about boundaries. Complaining about some other person's fatphobia has been a good angle: like "Ugh you won't believe the bullshit [insert influencer/celebrity/whomever] said..." IME, using phrasing that implies that they're a) informed/knowledgeable and b ) on my side creates pressure to not disagree directly (e.g., to avoid conflict or to avoid looking uninformed or bigoted) and ask questions instead. (I *think* it works because it creates incentive to understand a perspective rather than putting them a conflictual position of defending their current perspective, but I'm not sure)

These approaches aren't going to be right for everybody, but they work for me.

Have you noticed if re-gaining is easier than new gaining? Anecdotally, that's been my experience, and statistically, most people who intentionally lose weight go on to regain it (and then most of them gain more). Personally, my body seems to like being about ~5-10 lbs lower than my highest weight during intentional gaining.

Personally I tend too switch off between approaches, which I find helps keep it fun. I think of the approaches sort of like:

1) the marathon: set a lofty stuffing goal, and pursue it throughout the day/evening. X number of calories, Y donuts, Z menu items, whatever. Avoid discomfort and boredom through a drawn out process full of a variety of foods.

2) sprinting: set a lofty stuffing goal and get it down FAST. Overcome discomfort and boredom by consuming thousands of calories before they set in (question your life choices amidst stomach cramps shortly after). I tend to prefer something drinkable for this--melted ice cream, half and half, etc.

3) Absent minded: do something else (e.g. movie or video games) and just eat freely without setting a goal--the key is to occupy your attention as much as possible to minimize your ability to check in on how much you've eaten. Snacks/bite size things are ideal, e.g. donut holes. Then when you're feeling done, marvel at how much you put away without even realizing it! And of course... there will be so little left in the containers that you might as well just finish it... and then you can head to bed topped off and content

4) the daily-life-secret: incorporate a mini-stuffing into some small window of time or privacy as you go about your day. For example, a travel mug full of regular latte and a travel mug full of breve or coffee+heavy cream look the same from the outside

I’ve seen maltodextrin mentioned on ff a few times, but I’m not too familiar with it.

What benefit are people seeking from it? Why choose it over other classic foods/ingredients?

It sounds like it’s more serious than a fantasy for you, right? And it sounds like maybe you feel disappointed (and maybe also surprised) that other people aren’t as serious about it. Is that right?

My quick math says there's about 3284 calories per quart, which is close ~0.94 of 3500 calories, which is the amount of excess calories that go into 1 lb of body fat. So that would be the upper limit of how much you'd gain in a day, which is on the upper end of some of the famous/rapid gains.

But most people's digestive systems probably aren't efficient enough to metabolize all that fat, especially if consumed all at once. I can guess at a few things that might help with digestion/absorption, though I'm not sure (and this definitely doesn't constitute medical advice):
1. take a digestive enzyme with lipase (lipase is the type of enzyme that breaks down fats for absorption, and one of the limits to the digestion of fats is how much lipase your body can muster up for the process)
2. Space out the consumption of the quart
3. Add something sweet (I'd probably go with syrup. Personally I don't think soda and that much cream would sit well for me, but if it works for you, have fun). I learned from another user here that insulin (which will be released when you eat something sweet) cues fat cells to absorb fats and proteins (in addition to blood sugar, which was the only function I knew about before)
4. Drink it in the evening (I find it very filling, so if I have it early in the day, I just consume fewer calories throughout the day overall, since I'm not as hunger. End result is that at the end of the day, the cream isn't all excess calories)

To avoid being gross... your experiences on the porcelain throne will hint at how much fat you're actually absorbing