In my defense (OP here) I thought consent was implied here, my question was about how far is too far to push this feederism thing, and maybe shed a light/discuss this specific fantasy for a bit. That's why my question was for feedees since they are the one's who need to give consent.

How would you feel if your feeder started using sex as positive/negative reinforcement for your gaining, as in, stopping having sex until you reach a certain weight
Is it hot or is it just emotional abuse?

how bout this one:
fantasyfeeder.com/forum/posts

encourager is a blanket term for all kind of feeders

mine is:
The encourager:
You’re the typical encourager, you love your man fat and you help him get bigger, you love to witness the changes and do whatever to encourage him to be fatter, either by manually feeding him, helping him order when you’re out, or just by telling him how fat and fabulous he looks. Pros: you like to have a balanced relationship where both parties are on the same page. Cons: sometimes it’s hard to separate what’s sexual and what’s not when you’re part of this scene

find what kind of encouragers are you or best suits you with this quiz
share results!
uquiz.com/Z5tuCN

I was the kid that stared at fat men in public spaces and made them uncomfortable, but then I hit that fun age of 6 - 7 and I was told that it wasn't polite to stare

uquiz.com/KXeSwz/what-kind-of-gainer-are-you
share your result

You're young, and you still have good metabolism on your side. The best thing about gaining is that it is gradual and reversible, you can try and push yourself 5lbs at the time (baby steps) then stop and see how you feel about it. It could surprise you, people might not care as much as you think, and you might even find yourself enjoying the occasional comment. Worst case scenario is that you find out that it's only a phase or that you don't enjoy it as much I you thought you would, so you would eat salads for a few weeks and lose the blubber. Everybody would tell you how much of hero you are for losing the weight.

This is not uncommon in the gaining world, being a gay feeder I've encountered few people with the same mind-frame and with variant degrees, from guys who just want to be teased about their growing breasts and soft curves, to guys who like to wear feminine clothes and be called feminine names during play, or androgynous clothes /drag in public, but still identify as male to full on trans women who take hormones and rub estrogen on their boobs to grow them (hopefully under medical attention) ... it's all cool, take your time, explore all your options and see where you fall on the spectrum, you don't have to slap a label on your forehead, just enjoy what makes you you!
cheers