It is not easy, true.
But I would say, do what I have done:
Stay true to your own self! Don't do compromises, live out what is your real you.
I started off as a feeder, first time I fed a woman was the most wonderful experience ever. I learned, that sex was much more intense with a feedee, that could understand that I wanted her to grow, that I loved fat, wanted more fat.
Then it came home to me, I was starting to gain myself. Then a woman that had been my feedee confronted me and asked me if I was purposefully gaining. I admited it and she said that would love to fatten me up and see me grow. Something made click in me and I have been gaining ever since. I have discovered that I also love being fat, and next to helping women gain, I'm on the spot now myself. Not with that woman, that relationship did not work out, but every woman I met that was into this, I gained more. And now I'm on track to getting really super obese and I love it, I help it along, because I know it is my true self. I want a woman that loves my belly, appreciates it and wants me to grow for her. Having a partner that wishes that you expand is just heaven, and what has helped me is a woman showing me that she is into really very obese guys and showing me pictures and talking about why they like moobs or a really fat fupa. I guess I have been blessed, to have received a lot of encouragement from German female feeders, in the USA, female feeders are in almost all cases not really out about what they like and they hide themselves, which makes meeting them almost impossible. They don't stand by what they like, which is a damn shame. I don't know what that is, it might be that in the USA, people are much more repressed and less developed sexually. But I was always amazed, meeting female feeders online in Germany, how open they were, the admitted that it turned them on and it showed that they had pondered liking big guys for years and I did not have to educate them about it, they already knew.

See it this way: If you are a feeder or feedee, you will always be. Nothing will change that. So why not stand by it and admit it?
And seek out partners that are into it and avoid people that are not? What future does that have? Have you ever had sex with a feeder / feedee? Well, once you do, sex with a person not into it will become super boring and dull. Eventually you can't go back anymore, you can't get the junk food, you can only get the food you really like, to use an analogy.

And the true self always wins out, you can maybe delay it, have some more bad relationships, that won't go anywhere, but eventually, it will all come out and want to be heard. And by the way, you can also have a love relationship with a feeder / feedee, more so even, because you really really accept and understand eachother like never before with somebody else.

Use an aquarium pump and use it at the lowest setting. If you get cramps, that is normal and often caused by the air being too cold. Preheat the air with a space heater and you will have less cramps. Go slow at the beginning, and don't overdo it.
I normally like water better too, as it has more substance. But the idea of being inflated is truely amazing and exciting.

One thing that has boggled my mind is why there are no really large feedees. Women or men that are really super obese and like it and say that they are feedees. All the super fat people seem to be fat against their will and not liking it.
I would also love to see pictures, does not have to be anything too revealing, but just to know you are real. I wish there were more super obese role models out there for us feeders and feedees to aspire to.

It's been 11 years since I joined. And in that time I went from 176 lbs (80 kg) to around 270 kg (120 kg) now.

I have been a feeder and fa as long as I can think back. It really defines my sexuality, it is not a fetish for me, but who I'm, it is the most passionate thing I have in my life, it feels more powerful and satisfying than anything else. I doubt very much if you could condition anybody into being a fa or feeder or feedee: In my theory, you either are (and will always be) or you are not (at which point you will never really find it exciting)
My like for feeding has developed and gotten stronger and stronger, and I also realized that I should gain myself and that I'm really a mutual gainer and that being in a relationship where both want to gain and were both have a very natural and happy relaxed feeling towards fat and fattening must be heaven. For me, fat is probably the sexiest thing there is, what it does with our bodies, how it moves, how it feels, in a way it is pure sensuality and also seems to be made out of pure sex ;-)
Funny enough, while running my website for over 15 years now, everybody that I got in contact with, that I could identify as a real feeder or feedee reported that they had fantasies about weight gain as far back as they can remember and that it has always been there.

I have questions for all you ffa and female feeders:

1. How large do you like your men, if it was all up to you to decide? Do you have an upper limit of what you find sexy? A lower limit?

2. Which parts do you like most on a man that gains? The double chin? Fattening arms and legs? A fat and jiggly belly? A round and pumped up belly? Fat that develops in the neck? A fatter wider face? Hanging belly, fat folds?
Fat feet? Fat hands (fingers)? A fatter FUPA? Stretch marks? Man boobs? A depper navel? Getting out of breath? Breaking furniture? Being more submissive due to the fattening up? Becoming more dominant due to the massive body presence?

What other things you like when you see fat guys? Have you ever wondered why a random guy has stretch marks on his belly, if he maybe is a secret feedee?

Here just an idea that surely will be fun:

Using plaster of Paris (why is that called like that ???? in German is is just "Gips" ;-) you can make a cast of your belly, like some pregnant women do.

This way you can later see how you have grown, try to put the cast on and notice (*blush*) how it does not fit anymore.

I will try that in the next days, I wonder what your experiences will be doing it.

It is also something very erotic that a feeder can do together with a feedee.

Well, the point for me is to distend the stomach and feel it grow, do you know any other way to do that fast?

Seems like not a lot of people know anything about it.

I have had some heart burn and researched the subject and found that baking soda can relieve it by neutralizing acid, but it creates a lot of gas, it fizzes like crazy when you mix it with vinegar. So I thought it might be fun to experiment with that (all safely done of course) and see if there are combinations where you drink something acid like orange juice and then take some baking soda and feel your stomach start inflating.

Baking soda is very salty though and I wonder if there is something other, that you can take more of, without over salting yourself.

Here a few ideas that I would love feedback on:
1. Swallowing a few mentos whole and then carefully drinking just a tiny little bit of coke and seeing what happens.
2. Trying this out in a balloon, to see how large the balloon gets inflated by the two elements.
3. I have heard about eating two bananas and then drinking some soda, that this would also fizz and gas. Has anybody tried this? What are your experiences?
4. What is the most acid food that one can safely eat and then neutralize?
5. Does calcium carbonate (like in Tums) also cause fizzing?
6. I enjoy and strive for fast inflation, so you can feel it more, but obviously, it should still stay safe. I noticed that you can always let the pressure out through the mouth and you actually have to concentrate on keeping the pressure in. What have your experiences been with this?



Questions over questions.