Crash dieting, and especially yo-yo dieting (losing fast, regaining, losing fast again, etc) will mess up your body, including slowing your metabolism.

But you probably shouldn't do those things just to make it easier to lose weight, because like I said, they mess up your body. For example, they tested people who had a history of yo-yo dieting and found that their immune system was about 30% less active (around 30% anyway, wish I'd bookmarked that study but I didn't). And it tends to hit your whole body that way, your body just skimps on _everything_. So yah, it is easier to gain weight, but your overall health is affected (on top of any issues that come with the weight).

Dashuri, as others have said, I don't think that there is any way to make sure you get the type of fat you want. Here is a bit of background from what I've picked up over the years.

Fat comes in essentially two types: in the abdominal cavity (vascular) and just under the skin (subcutaneous, if I remember the names right). The former (vascular if I recall the name correctly) results in the hard round belly (typical guy 'beer belly', and is also--by far--the more unhealthy of the two. There _may_ be some things you can do to lead to more vascular fat, but its not healthy and it won't give you a soft belly, so I wouldn't suggest them (and none of those are surefure anyway).

To have a soft belly you want subcutaneous fat, but want it to mostly end up in your belly. Unfortunately subcutaneous fat seems to go where it wants to go....on the plus side, there are some indications that fat on your hips may actually be a plus for health, so if it doesn't all go where you want (you continue to be hour glass shaped) it is not all bad.

The one thing that I can mention is that after you gain some weight, if you lose a little bit you skin doesn't tighten up like it was before, leaving your fat to look looser, and it will tend to make subcutaneous belly fat sit lower down. Like if you gained to 160 then dropped to 150, just under your bust might be thinner than when you were first at 150, but your belly between your hips might be a bit bigger and softer, but that may be more of a 'roll' look than the roundness you want.

I hope this was of some help. Whatever you do, be careful and have fun!

-Ed

I think you tell him exactly what you said here, that you are feeling sluggish and don't feel comfortable growing any more....and maybe add that you are happy you've been able to grow this much for him and that you don't regret that, it is just that you've reached your limit. He should be able to respect that.

Also agreed with the above posters, work on increasing your activity level steadily, and also work on improving the quality of what you eat (more vegetables and fibre, less junk food, etc).

Good luck!

How are you feeling about it all?

(and congrats or condolences, depending on how you feel)

Similar here. When I was young and single I was pretty naive. I didn't really know that such a thing as 'bi' existed, and I knew I was attracted to women, so I figured my fascination with fat guys was just something akin to jealousy. By the time I realized what I was feeling towards some fat guys was more along the lines of lust, I was engaged. Hence, with the 'monogamous thing' I never followed up on those feelings.

That sounds just about perfect. I've done something kind of like that for a weekend, for myself (but with more food court and prepared food at home, as it was already rather expensive!) It was good....but would be so much better with someone else!

People can be attracted or turned on by various things...sometimes those things fit together, but they can even be pretty much mutually exclusive.

I don't think it so odd that some people prefer a more middling size range, but are still always turned on by gain at any size.

I do think it is odd that someone would tell anyone that they were too fat for the speaker's preference, but then keep encouraging them with their gain. To me, that is just rude. If you know them well perhaps admit that they've exceeded your size preference but that their gain still turns you on, so that they know where your head is at. But then don't keep encouraging them