1. Been fed IRL
God, I wish

2. Ate myself to sleep
Once or twice

3. Had sex while being fed at the same time.
Only in my dreams

4. Stolen food because I�m just a piggy
No

5. Been called a fat name in public
Yes, but not a bad one. Gotten quite a few �big guys�

6. Had a stranger pat or poke my belly
No

7. Been fatter than my current weight
Yes, but I�m catching back up

8. Ripped clothes or popped a button
Oh, god it is so hot!

9. Broken furniture because of my weight
No, just some good creaks

13. Got stuck somewhere because of my size?

16. Been told I need to lose weight by a family member

17. Had a partner who worshiped my fat

18. Started rubbing my belly in public
Yes

19. Been called a pig
Not in real life

20. Been weighed and measured by my partner

I was several months into gaining when people started to notice that I was developing an overhang above my pant's waist band. So I must have put on thirty to forty pounds by then. The normal comment was "Wow! You're put to weight". To which I usually replied, "Yes, I know". As I continued to gain weight many people, particularly those who I had not seen for a while, made the same obvious observation. I found all this a great encouragement.

Once I became morbidly obese. The comments stopped. I think this was because people did not want to embarrass me. However, you could often see in their eyes what they wanted to say. This was more pronounced when I met a relative or friend from school who I had not seen for years.

Occasionally a child has called out in a piercing voice "Mum, look at that fat man". Only to be shushed as quickly as possible to avoid a scene. There is also a gang of teenage boys who congregate near where I live and they can be counted on to make disparaging remarks about my size as I waddle by. But for the most part people keep their comments to themselves.

I promised myself that, when my gaining started causing health problems or my having to have special equioment, I would stop. Then I developed sleep apnea as a direct result of my weight and, instead of reducing my weight, I started using a CPAP machine and mask which took time to get used to but I depend on it now. I also ordered a bariatric hospital style bed as I found it easier to sleep with my upper body slightly raised.

So the promise changed. I would start losing weight and take my health seriously if developed a condition which meant I would be on medication for life. Soon after I was diagnosed with metabolic syndrome and have medication for high lood pressure and colestrol. So I stopped kidding myself and accepted that my choice to be morbidly obese meant that I would have related health issues which I should accept and embrace as I had done with every other aspect of being very fat. Since then with I have also started taking anti-inflamatories and pain killers for my back and knees.

I know I have a high blood sugar reading and am categorised as pre-diabetic. So I suppose I will have to accept that in all likelihood I will develop Type 2 diabetes. I suppose it comes with the territory.

You should add a couple of scoops of maltodextrin or dextrose, essentially the same thing, to heavy cream. You can buy it online easily. It helps to give you an insulin rush so you retain the calories. Maltodextrin is a thickening agent so you may need to thin the cream down a bit with milk and you should add something to favour it such as Nesquik to make it more palatable. Also, you should ring the flavour changes so you do not tire of a course of gainer shakes. Good luck!

In my case I am sure that I was hard wired to be a gainer from the start. It developed when I was young. In my early teens I thought that it might be a passing phase but as time went on I knew that it was not. I could not stop the arousal that I experienced thinking of myself as obese. I used to try to get the desire to be fat out of my head and for a while I succeeded but sure enough like a rising tide it came back only stronger than before. You can be a thin gainer or an obese one; that depends whether you give in to it or not. But you will always be a gainer. In view of this, I think it is best to yield to it. Life is just much more pleasant and fulfilling if you are the person you were always supposed to be.

When I started to gain I was really happy when I lost any vestige of skinniness and I was now obviously over weight with a nice paunch hanging over my waistband and the start of real moobs showing through my shirt. But I still realised that I would need the be much fatter to be anywhere near the shape I wanted to be.

When I reached 280 -300 pounds and was definitely morbidly obese I knew I had reached an important milestone and I was thrilled to have done so. I like the way I looked and felt it was how I had always wanted to be.

Since then I have put on another 80 plus pounds which is even better. I have a physique that does not go unnoticed wherever I am. I can sense the disapproving looks which gives me a real frisson. It is what a gainer really wants.

I am certain I will put on more weight and, judging by my experience so far, I will feel even happier than I am now.

Once I had progressed in gaining, I found the new pattern of eating I had developed was both habit forming and addictive. After some months I had become used to eating more in terms of quantity and the frequency of meals and in between snacks. Also, since much of what I eat is junk fast food it is by design addictive. Once you have started on fast food it is difficult to stop because it is so “moorish”. I have also developed a craving for it so a few hours after eating my fill I start to become ravenous for more. So I think there comes a point in gaining when you pass the point of no return in that you are no longer in control of your ravenous appetite. The problem is that you generally do not know you have passed the point of no return until long after you have passed it. That was certainly my experience.

I received the most comments on my weight as I progressed from normal to being slightly obese. Somehow it seemed safe to remark on how much I had gained. As I continued to put on the pounds and became morbidly obese the direct comments stopped. I think this was out of concern that a comment would embarrass me as my weight was clearly a problem.

The only exceptions to this are my family and people who I have not seen for several years. My family, particularly my mum and sister, keep on nagging me about my weight: not that it has made the slightest difference. When I meet up with someone who I have not seen for a while I can see them do a double take. They do not actually mention my weight but it is apparent that they are shocked by the size I have become.

You have put it very well. For quite a while I thought that I was in control; that I could stop gaining at any time. But I was deluding myself. My encourager had made sure that unknowingly I had become completely addicted to a junk food diet. When I am completely stuffed I resolve that I must control my intake of food. Come the next meal I am ravenous again and craving rich, tasty food. Nothing can stop my appetite and my need to eat more and more. I depend on it. So the cyle continues with me becoming fatter and fatter. Even though my obesity is starting to affect my health, I am powerless to stop it. I am on a treadmill which I cannot get off.

That describes me too!