Spend less time at trying to pin it down, at trying to define it. Finding the exact label just isn't that important.

Just live. See what happens from one unique situation to another, from one specific relationship to another. It might be that you have no such desire in general but with THAT GUY it's all different....but only on weekends....

Stop overthinking it. Instead, go with the idea that it is what it is in that moment.

You really don't need to pin yourself down right now

That might be the easiest thing, yes; to just not have this sexual reaction to this. But that's not how life seems to work.

BUt just because you have an urge doesn't mean you have to act on it and with it. That is where your free will comes in.

Is that hard? Sure. Is really liking cocaine but not taking it because you don't like the consequences of physical addiction hard? Absolutely. Because it's hard should you advice your friend to take cocaine anyway? Maybe not.

For me, I find this vice one of the least harmful. I discovered I have it, shared that knowledge with my wife (who isn't into it at all), and am actively enabling my wife to overeat and gain weight. It's a fun hobby, growing your partner while encouraging her to do the very things she doesn't really want to do yet does anyway because it's almost stronger than her.

That's really nice work; you're good at this.

How long has it taken? Is he fully willing or has some reservations about being fat?

My wife was always bigger, lost weight. For a while I was the food police and then told her I didn't like that role because I prefer her with more meat on her.

I got her as far as giving me a 5 LBS gain as a CHristmas present (which turned into a 20 lbs gain).

She knows how I feel but isn't "into" it herself. I kind of like that as I'm growing her anyway. There is a sexiness to growing a woman larger while she's not into it

My wife is at 214, overhanging belly, well developed FUPA, and I'm the one doing the shaving. She can only reach there blindly

That makes what he said sound very dark and almost singularly bad.

Maybe it's more along the lines of "this is also the logic of rapists and child molesters"

Just because something looks like something else doesn't make it equal to it.

That's it.

I think with the kink you have the best chance of seeing it fulfilled as most women naturally tend to gain as they age, only slowed down by expectations of having to be thin. Once they know "I don't mind you're *skinny* but I prefer you would gain" instead of "I don't mind you're *fat*", things just happen, even when they won't be in the "oh wow" feeling of it

I'm happy with the development of my wife's belly. It's a big fat roll under her breasts followed by a bigger blob of belly fat. It's quite loose, flabby, playable. When she sits it will squish out every way and there's no longer any way she can hide it from people. She used to wear very loose fitting clothes but she knows my preference for clothes that show her body and has started to comply to that.

At the bottom her belly makes a good fat apron.

I'm OK with most anything as my main goal is for her to grow fat(ter) and accept that.

I enjoy the times I say things like "you ate so good today, you should buy yourself something as a reward"

I like it that she's not shocked but just asks how much she can spend

Start from the right angle: just being among people, meeting people, talking, growing more comfortable, maybe meeting someone you like, building on that. The feedeee/feeder thing is secondary. It comes later. It's not what you build a relationship on.

Get used to people looking at you and not saying anything when you talk to them; it's just them listening to you, not them judging you negatively.

Think how nice it can feel when someone in a store, or whereever, says something to you; the reverse will be true too. And if the random person you say something too reacts a bit odd, they're still not judging you they're just uncomfortable themselves.

If you feel you're not witty enough or aren't contributing enough to conversations, don't worry. People like it when you listen to them. Studies show that when you don't say a lot but listen and ask questions, the other person will describe it as having had such a good conversation with you even though they did most of the talking.

Relate. Keep only the most intimate thoughts to yourself but otherwise if someone said something about how nice autumn is, share what you hate/like about autumn.

At all times realize that anything you feel when meeting people or being among them is a shared human experience; it's not something that is wrong about you or specific to you. Realize that how you see people -- confident, funny, shy -- is just the way you see their outside and may have nothing to do with how they feel inside.