Fantasy Feeder

How do you make your mind up with this kink

Munchies:
When that post-nut clarity hits, and the disgust/fear/disinterest sets in, it's a sign to leave the kink in fantasy.

Totally agree with this, but I will say: if the feelings are actually disgust/fear rather than simply disinterest, there can be some value in trying to interrogate why that is.

When I started having thoughts about gaining (after largely just being a feeder my whole life), I felt a ton of shame about it. I've spent a lot of time trying to unpick those feelings over the last few years, and I ended up realizing that a lot of it was internalized fatphobia (stuff like thinking masculine fat bodies were inherantly unattractive).

Forcing myself to confront that has honestly made my relationship with this kink - and my own body image - way more healthy, even though I still don't think I want to intentionally gain.

3 months

Jentera

Body change

Mooidik:
my girlfriend had put on weight and thought it was terrible! she is now losing weight! but i'm getting fatter.. finally fatter! and honestly i thought i wanted to see her thicker! but honestly i want to see myself fatten fattening and getting extremely fat!!and she can get slim

I'm interested how common this scenario is, because I've had a similar mindset change over the years.

My partner has lost quite a bit of weight over the years, and isn't particularly interested in getting bigger again (which I'm totally supportive of - as much as I liked her being bigger, it's her body and she's happier this way).

Since that's happened, I definitely find myself thinking about my own weight a lot more than I did. It feels a bit nicer to focus on something I like, rather than something my partner dislikes, I guess?

1 year

Jentera

Tales of compromise

Like (I imagine) many of people on here that are in long term relationships, my partner isn't an FA. They know that I am, and they don't mind, but alas, they're not interested in gaining or feeding, or anything like that.

There's plenty of threads about the negatives of this scenario, but given it's Christmas, I'm in the mood for something more positive. So I'm curious - does anyone have any stories of ways they've managed to make these kinds of relationships work, or things your non-FA partner has done to accomodate your kink?

To contribute one myself: I regularly log on to Discord to find my girlfriend has sent me a piece of fat/weight gain art that she's found online, and she always seems to know exactly what sort of thing I'll like

It's really sweet, in a weird kinda way.

5 years

Jentera

How do you stay motivated?

Dazedandconfused:
I'm not sure if anyone else has this problem. I always go through almost weekly on and off phases of wanting to gain and also being okay with where I'm at. I've only tried to gain twice and after a few days I gave up; it's so exhausting eating and eating all the time. 😥 How do you stay motivated, especially if you know your family won't hold back when it becomes noticeable?

Perhaps go for a more slow burn approach (upping how much you snack, ordering higher calorie food, etc.) rather than trying to gain a lot quickly? It'd be less taxing, and it'd be more of a gradual change for your family to get used to.

Of course, that's very dependent on your metabolism, though!

6 years

Jentera

Found the bhm of my dreams--while married to someone else.

To be blunt - you either need to get a divorce ASAP, or cease all contact with this new guy (and even in the latter case, you should probably come clean with your husband). It sounds like the former is what you actually want.

6 years

Jentera

Awkward around my partner

Tori17:
Hi guys, so I've been in a committed relationship for a while now and have manged to open about about my fetish?kink? without them running up the hills. Problem is although they are more than fine and actually encourage me to use my fantasies when things get steamy, I can't help but feel guilty at my desire of picturing them bigger. Gaining is not a possibility for them since they are self conscious of their body and if anything the only reason they aren't dieting is how comfortable I make them feel. Problem is I still don't know why I feel so guilty or how to deal with it. Anyone been in my shoes?

I'm in a similar boat (partner who is fine with indulging my kink but isn't interested in actually gaining) - my advice would be:

* First of all, trust them - if they say that they're fine with you sharing your kink with them, they're probably fine with you sharing your kink with them!
* If it's really worrying you, talk to them and make sure they're definitely fine with it. Don't make it about your feelings, though - you want to hear how they feel about it, not pressure them into telling you what you want to hear.
* Make sure you make them feel good about themselves outside of your fantasies - if you only express attraction to their hypothetical fatter self, that's probably not gonna make them feel great.

SahX:
"They" ?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singular_they

6 years

Jentera

Original goals vs. actual results?

Frogman:
I weighed 143 lbs (also 5�4� - very short) in 2013. My goal to date has been 243, because 100 lbs gained seemed like a nice round number. Unfortunately I�ve been stuck at a plateau around 220-230 forever now, but I KNOW if I do make my goal, I�ll want to reset the goal posts to 300, then 330...

Were the 300s always something you'd considered, or has that come about as you've got closer and closer to your goal?

SahX:
I'm not a Gainer, however as I often reiterate I my best girl friend has (or rather, had) some ambiguous penchants to Feedism and a more yet indecisive fancy about the idea to become huge.

At the beginning, her intention was to stuff up herself until she attain the 225-lbs mark and when we knew each other many years ago, she weighed a mere 112-17lbs. After many attempts within time, weight yoyo-ing, resignations, urges to fatten up herself again, ecetera, she nearly completed half of her body goal last year ago with a whereabout 170lbs but quickly lost most of her extra poundage so laboriously gained to drop down to 130lbs again (her actual weight" set point"

.

Because she's, kinda bordeline bipolar when we talk about her body standards and fantasms, that her metabolism is too much irregular then probably also because some people at her entourage advertized her about the "risks" she can have concerning her both health and future couple life if she lost her thinness, she grew pessimistic and somewhat disdainful about that then decided to temporarily leave away for awhile. Quite unfortunately, at the moment she agreed she and I would starting an one-year plan in order to optimize her weight gain.

She still tend to fluctuate sometimes between 130 to less 150lbs, regarding her gastronomical mood, but not like before anymore.

Interesting to hear about someone who undershot their goal rather than overshooting it - seems to be somewhat of a rarity in this community! It'll be interesting to see if her desire to gain stays gone, or if it comes back with a vengeance later down the line.

6 years

Jentera

Any other people really into the idea of a world where obesity is normalized and encouraged?

Even if you remove the 'encouraged' part, it's still quite interesting to think about! Like, I wonder how many people would choose to get fat if they'd spent their life in a society where it was just treated the same as dying your hair, or getting piercings/tattoos? I think it'd be a surprisingly high percentage.

6 years

Jentera

Original goals vs. actual results?

Curious to hear some perspectives from people who have intentionally gained - what were your original goal sizes, back in your skinny (or at least, skinnier!) days? Did you stick to it, or end up somewhere completely different?

Anecdotally, I feel like a lot of gainers tend to have their upper limit be a bit of a moving (or rather, growing) target.

6 years

Jentera

Have you ever felt ashamed of your fetish?

fatgrllvr:
I don't think attraction to fat women is a fetish, any more than attraction to thin women or women with big boobs is a fetish. It's just an orientation that probably dates back to our early childhood (really early, in my case) and may even be inborn.

I'm very much in agreement with this - you don't hear people saying they have a 'skinny fetish', even though in most of our societies these days, being average/overweight is probably more common than being thin!

People are only ashamed to have fat partners or be attracted to fat people because they've internalised a lifetime of society being ridiculously fatphobic. If you can make an effort to get over that, not only will you feel more confident in your preferences, you'll probably be a better partner as well. I can guarantee, nobody wants to be dating someone who's embarrassed to be seen in public with them.

6 years

Jentera