Currently reading...

The Dresden files Storm front. by Jim Butcher.

The internet recommended it as a replacement for Harry Potter, for adults........ it's not managing it really yet.
10 years

Awful relationships and you.

I've had one what I'd call a proper relationship and it managed a bad ending, not as bad as OPs but still bad.

I was dating a girl I'd met in school and started dating between going to uni and leaving school.
I'd say at first she was very shy and had quite low self confidence but about 9 months In I got her to be more confident and less shy etc. But after just over 2 years together she sort of changed.

First she went out with one of her male friends again and told me its fine nothing was going on..... I accepted it as I trusted her.

2 months later she has a huge argument about how I don't care about her because I didn't go all jealous and clingy and you know trusted her.

She then kept calling me on the one day a week I couldn't answer her, as part of my course on one day a week I was in all day and in a situation where I couldn't use my phone. I had told her before about this day but she took to phoning and texting me on that day, after a bit she then used this to say I didn't care because I wasn't replying to her.

she only ever came to see me once at uni and that's because her parents were visiting somewhere near by, so I was having to travel back to see her when I could at £40 a time.

She then had a jealous rant accusing me of cheating on her with one of my female flat mates on the ground we were together in a lot of facebook pictures I told her I was just friends with said flatmate and nothing was going on(nothing was going on we we're just friends that's it) saying how she never wanted me to go out with said flatmate again (I went out in a group of course friends or flatmates so that wasn't an option really) I pointed out she had a male friend and I trusted her with him even though they used to date years ago and she said it was ok for me to go out realising or so I thought nothing was going on.

Valentines day was coming up and she laid it on the line saying what she wanted. I spent days organising it and most of the week before getting everything ready. I travelled 3 hours on the train carrying a bunch of roses and other stuff so for her, we then went off the the best hotel around where we got upgraded to a suite, the special romance package I'd ordered was delivered to the room. The whole time and the next day she seemed distracted and not to care I'd bothered with this, we had a candle light dinner in the restaurant (the same place we'd gone on our first date) and she still seemed pre occupied.

I went back to uni having spent most of my terms budget on one weekend where I might as well have been alone for all she seemed to care. I then survived 6 weeks on £120 somehow managing to buy food in so I was living on £20 for all my meals in a week.

she then got a dog (I'm not good with dogs but despite this she insisted I went to crufts dog show with her while I was quite phobic of dogs) due to her new dog she said she couldn't come online to chat and due to being low on money my phone wasn't an option to top up and use like MSN also uni work was heating up so I didn't have a lot of time to go back and see her or funds to do that.

She then again said I didn't care and that we never went out anywhere and I needed to make more effort over the summer. So I tried to and she said we never went out anymore. now I was a student I could maybe afford to go one place and maybe food, but on one day when she decided what we did, we went to the cinema (cost £40) Bowling (Cost £20) for a meal (Cost £50ish with drinks) then she had a go at me because I refused to then go out clubbing with her. At one point she had a go at me because I said I couldn't afford to pay £1,200 for a trip to California with her. And tried to pressure me into dropping out in my final year just so I could pay half the rent on a place she wanted to live.

I decided enough was enough and tried to break up with her, at which point she refused to let me and said we'd work all our issues out, so I agreed and said fine as long as we both tried. I really put in extra effort, spending what little I'd earned from a job the previous summer on going out with her.
At one point she then said I'd better come back and see her more than the past couple of years at least every other week to which I pointed out it was my final year I'd come back when I could but it would most likely be less often than before but it would be fine for her to come and see me as I could probably get the work out the way but not sort out travel and everything else to get back and see her and all the work.

She also revealed she supported a certain political party here in the UK that lets just say they occupy the far far right wing.... which shocked me, she even got mad when I refused to go on a march with her as that certain party I find deplorable but I thought I should accept her as her and not let this come between us etc.

Then 2 weeks before her birthday she was really weird with me and refused to see me the next week claiming she was busy but she'd see me at her birthday party.


Her Birthday party was 2 days before I was meant to be back at uni, so I went to her party but after she wanted to go clubbing and I had to finish packing for uni so as she had a lot of her friends with and it was a club I really disliked I thought she'd be fine and understand as after all on my Birthday I never saw her and ended up going out with course friends.
I then saw her the next day where we went bowling and to the pub with some of her friends (mostly the ones who hadn't gone to the club the night before).
For her Birthday as it was her 21st I really decided to get her everything she wanted and spent way more than I should have done.

One week into being back at uni 2 days before it would have been 3 years together she sends me a simple text, "I don't love you any more what do you want to do ?"
So we broke up with her saying she wanted to still be friends and me in shock agreeing then 2 weeks later saying I didn't want to be friends anymore after her facebook status's were about wanting to feel happy for once and her chatting up a new guy already, she then blamed me for our relationship falling apart saying I didn't care enough and never went to see her enough back home.

Over the 1 year at uni between us being together 2 to 3 years she changed so dramatically, she started going out getting drunk constantly then calling me up at about 4 am giving me concern such as once her yelling "Oh god I need a shag" while drunk outside a club in the town back home, rather than being fun to be with she changed and refused to talk about much and seemed to ignore me almost entirely even when I was trying such as spending a few days one week going round to hers to dog sit while she went to work. Her whole taste changed she went from being the unique rock chick I fell for to a girl who wanted to just go out and get drunk with dyed blonde hair and as much cleavage on show as possible (not that I have a problem with these things just combined they all are sign of a certain social group here in the UK mainly ).


1 year later on the advice of a friend I contacted her again, to have a clear the air talk where I could state my side of things as I refused to accept all the blame for the relationship issues we had.
Shortly in saying my piece after she tried to pin the entire relationship breakdown on me, she wished I was dead said I was no man.
I then got a message from her new boyfriend threatening me, I tried to reason with him while refusing to accept I was the sole reason for the break up and how her trying to force me to change was wrong. She then says I should have fought for her and her breaking up with me was testing me to see if I cared enough and would do whatever it took to make her happy (dropping out of uni to rent a flat and giving up the job I wanted for her)She then blamed me for going to uni for us breaking up .It ended badly with us basically agreeing not to speak anymore and us both blocking one another.

1 week later her boyfriend messages me again saying to stop hassling her, I again try to be reasonable saying I haven't but he refused to accept it calling me out, so I call his bluff and say fine you want to fight I'll be here at this time on this day if you so want to do this.

Nothing comes of it

2 weeks later again I get another message, same thing only this time he's threatening to firebomb my home unless I stop (I had not contacted her at all since the 1 night when I tried to clear the air). He refuses to accept I haven't contacted her and says to watch out as next time I do it he will burn my home down with me in it.

1 week on from this I get another message from him saying that was it he was coming round to burn my home down. By this point I was fed up of this and told him in no uncertain terms if he messed with me I'd make sure he did nothing to me and had a nice hospital stay followed by a trial for everything he'd done including the death threats and whatever he did do. Finally he listened to reason after this and realised I had no way to contact my ex and she refused to show him the messages I'd apparently sent.

A further 1 week on I get an add request on MSN, I accept not knowing who it is, only for it to be my ex ranting on about how if I didn't apologise for saying she was to blame too for us breaking up and accept all responsibility for us breaking up she'd come round and kill me.... I just blocked her without replying

1 further week on I get a random Phone call, thinking it could be important I answer and its her in floods of tears really angry at me saying the same things as before saying I'm an evil horrible person who should kill himself for the good of the world. I put the phone down on her.

I haven't heard anything from her since luckily though from friends who were friends of hers too for a time I've heard that's because her and her new boyfriends have broken up badly.


Oh and to top all this off while I was at uni trying to move on, I expressed feelings for another female friend of mine (not the one I was accused of cheating on my ex with) and got the just friends line, and rather than go back to being friends as we had been (and I'd have been happy being as she was a wonderful person and a wonderful friend) we basically never spoke again.

Sorry this was so long and rant like but its how I'm getting over it to just rant every now and again about how mad the world is some times. I know I'm not fully over it yet and I'm still fairly damaged as I was manipulated and made to feel like nothing and like I was a horrible person, also the fact I was so wrong about her and that my only relationship experience and only time I've let someone in like this they did this to me. I'm getting over it slowly some how.
11 years

Room 101

- Being approached for money on the street when I'm sitting there eating my lunch, and then being spun some unbelievable lie.

-Chuggers (for those not known its a UK thing of essentially being near mugged by charity campaigners who pressure you in the street

-Chuggers who ask how they could make my day better , just because the easy answer would land me a slap a lot of the time.

-Just Friends - not Friends I hate this when I do try and ask someone out and get told they only want to be friends then after that they won't say a word to you, I'm fine with being just friends if you mean it and its not an excuse to then ignore me.

- People Flirting with me to make someone else jealous, I'm not super great with reading the signs and finding the difference of flirting to make someone jealous and actual flirting with me so when I have been flirting back thinking it could go somewhere and end up putting my foot in it, its annoying to then get the just friends line as I'm so sure I read the signs right.


- Anynone who goes "oh scientists will fix it, do it, because its their job and junk" this annoys me just because the scientists actually working for good don't get some insane wages its normally only the ones who have sold out to big corporations making new hair colours that get the money and on top of that the ones doing something worth while get brushed a side because its just their job.

- Ex's / significant others who play mind games or emotional ones just to get their own way.
12 years

Valentines day

My Plan so far involves alcohol and films with explosions, or the Very Best of Black sabbath followed by an audio book sat in a park depending on the weather as hopefully being out of town and knowing where to hide away will mean not having to deal with couples all loved up.


My perfect valentines day would involves a fair bit less alcohol managing to once again get a free upgrade to a named suite at the hotel near me, the perfect girl (for me not some kind of media image) and the DVD of Scott Pilgrim vs the world just because every thing's better with Scott Pilgrim vs the world added in the mix
12 years

Odd reasons for being dumped

"I don't love you any more"
which sounds fair enough and quickly changed to.
"you wouldn't come to see me enough" I was a student at the time 3 hours and £50 train fare from her and still went back about every 3-6 weeks but she never came to see me.
That then turned into
"You picked uni over me"
I was in my 3rd year and thought she was joking when she asked me to jack it in give up on my dream job with 2 years worth of debt and get a terrible low paid job I'd hate just so I could rent a place with her.

The real insult being her saying I didn't love her enough, despite complete with my phobia of dogs I went with her to crufts because she wanted to see it.

Good riddance in the end though as she'd changed in the time we'd dated and not in a good way.
12 years

Fatten your feedee game

the game still half exsists simple go to archive.org and ype in the fantasy feeder web address go back to the earlier updates and then you'll find the game in there, it doesnt work as such anymore but it looks like anot of the components of it are still in place there, it would just be a matter of extracting and repairing it
14 years
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