Thanks, guys. It's all much appreciated...

Update, the diet is starting to fall by the wayside. He's coming up with excuses not to go to the gym, and things have been rough at work, so he's had plenty of excuse for comfort food. On the one hand, I'm not completely surprised....and a part of me is certainly not upset about it. But on the other...I'm sort of disappointed in him. I thought he was really going to stick with it this time.

I repeat, it's complicated being in love with a fat man... *sigh*

Being in love with a BHM is complicated. I never expected it to be as complicated as it is. It's one of those things that seemed so natural to me. I've always been attracted to very large men, dating one made perfect sense.

I am dating one now, for the first time (my first several boyfriends were all slender), and at first, it was really great. He was thrilled to have a girlfriend who was actually attracted to him, and I loved how happy that made him. But the longer we're together, the more complicated it gets. He hates being fat, always has. He's on a diet now (so far, a quite successful one), and I'm proud of him. He's very big, I'm sure it isn't healthy, and the truth is, I'd like for him to be around for a very long time.

But on the other hand, I've never been more into his size than I have this last month. Sexually, it's my button, and that's a big deal. But even more than that, there's something about it that I find so warm and comforting. Maybe it's just because I associate it with him and his warmth and love (which will of course still be there long after his belly is gone, but...). Regardless, I don't want him to lose the weight, I really don't. I keep trying to tell myself that I do, for his own sake. I support his weight-loss any way I can. But when he weighs in every week, and another four pounds of that wonderful belly is gone...I feel more sad than happy.

It isn't that it's impossible to be fat and healthy. I've known a few people who pull it off quite well, but he will never be one of them. His diet is based strictly on calories, not nutrition. He's eating less, but not necessarily well (in fact, he's eating a lot worse on the diet than he was before - a lot more fast food, a lot more fat). Even if and when he does lose all the weight, he isn't necessarily going to be particularly healthy, and I think that's part of what upsets me so much. If it were all about his health, I could feel more supportive, but as it is... *sigh*

I just don't know. I want him to be healthy, and I definitely want him to be happy. He isn't happy fat, and I can understand that. It's been a huge source of grief for him his whole life, and he's finally doing something about it, and for that, I'm very proud of him.

But...

=(


Any advice?

He prefers wearing his pants around his belly, for reasons I haven't really asked about, most of which I suspect have to do with him being self-conscious about his size, though, perhaps for comfort as well. *shrug*

But believe me, I'd much prefer seeing a bit of that belly overhang.

And thank you both!

Hey all!

My boyfriend's belt finally gave up trying, and I wanted to surprise him with a new one. As a temporary solution, I popped into Walmart and bought a 52 because the pants he was wearing at the time were 52's, but the belt was incredibly tight, and it took a lot for him to get it buckled (not that I minded watching, but, well... ). I still would like to invest in a nicer belt for him, and, more importantly, one that fits a little better. Doing a little creeping, I found that the new pants he bought are size 56 (and seem to fit a bit better than the 52's have been lately).

At any rate, I've always heard that when you buy a belt, you match it to the pants size because, supposedly, that's the size it is at the middle notch, but with that 52, it seemed like the entire thing was 52" long because it just barely fit around his belly. Do big and tall belts always run that way? Should the next belt I buy be a 56 or should I go up a few sizes?

My boyfriend and I just recently started having sex, and he's my first, so it's sort of a big deal. He's about 380 lbs (mmm!), and I love every last ounce of it. The problem from time to time is, well, sex. Intercourse, more specifically. He does an amazing job with his hands, and I love rubbing my hands all over his big, soft body, but.... Well, no matter what we seem to do, penetrating me seems to be an issue. He's not small, per se, but his enormous belly seems to, erm, obscure him a bit. The first several times, we were just using the missionary position, which was great in a number of different ways (I love his weight on top of me, his belly pressed into me, how out of breath he is by the end of it, etc), but it's a difficult position for a fat man, no two ways about it. We've tried a few other things since then, but nothing seems to work. Me on top was the best so far, as he prefers a woman on top anyway, and I was able to get him a bit deeper inside of me. We tried doggy style, but he kept slipping out, and we tried something or other with me sitting on the edge of the bed, but that was much better for him than it was for me.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I absolutely adore this boy, and I'm attracted to him beyond my wildest dreams. I love how into me he is, and I love making him feel sexy. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone has any suggestions as to positions or techniques that work better with a fat man, and if there is a way to pass those suggestions on to him without making him believe he isn't adequate in the bedroom. Any ideas? =)