A Dom's job is never done. There are a number of ways to dangle a 🥕 on a stick for a sub. Lol

I would also explain this to your sub and the reasons so he knows where your head is at and why. It will both help put him at ease, and maybe just maybe, excite him more cause there is a reward at the end of the tunnel if all goes well. Lol

No problem at all. Exactly carry on as you would but with the mindset that feedism will eventually make its debut, if you will. I get the sense you don't want to go in guns ablazing because in kink play people can literally die if you are not safe and careful. Additionally, going too hard the first time may leave your sub disappointed with subsequent sessions which leads to pushing harder which can lead to injury.

Perhaps set up a non-verbal safeword if you will. My partner and I have a safeword and if she cannot speak, a physical indicator as well just in case cause, sometimes Doms can get a little lost in the sauce as well. But learning what makes your partner tick, allows you as the Dom to do what you do best. And it seems like you know how to do a good chunk of that as well as what to look for. So I think you got this, and he will be quite happy with your treatment of him.

As a Dom myself, I would say reading your partner's non-verbal cues is something will help you the most if you are worried about him not being able to communicate. Personally, I would say operate in a space you are comfortable with to learn his cues first. You can even dress it up as training if you'd like. And then introduce feedism type stuff when you are comfortable and trust each other a good deal. That is half the battle with great D/S relationships, trust. The other half is communication. So also listen to him as well, see where he is at and what he wants to do and try.

As for myself, I think you got this. Caring Doms are the best type. I could see why this gentleman fancies you. 😁👍

My take on this is to let them and even help them lose the weight. If you are really hanging around your partner for them, then you should be accepting of them being comfortable in their own skin, and even better help them.

That being said, Gah! I hate it as well. It is like watching the sexiness and physical attraction drain right out of your partner. However, there are two things that I have found to help cope with it. First is finding other kinks and fetishes that you enjoy. Feedism is in the BDSM area technically, so there are plenty of other kinks you can test out and enjoy. Really isolating what excited you. For me it is power. I love power over my feedee's body, power over my sub's pain, pleasure, and movement, even power over whether they get to climax or not. Finding a different kink that is similar (and maybe even be used with Feedism) can help with all the missing soft hugable fatness.

The second is asking if your partner can leave a little weight on so you have something to grab onto. You can also still be supportive by saying for instance, you like bigger butts and thicker legs, so maybe working those a little extra would be nice.

The pictures had shown up before I replied lol. I would say she is probably feeling less comfortable about getting into what she considers plus size, which is most likely, what the clothing industry considers plus size.

Still see if she will compromise. You help her lose a little weight and maybe she can gain a little back in the fall and winter for you. X-P Could be fun. Lol

I would guess she is probably looking for reassurance or something akin to it that you are with her through thick and thin (pun intended). And like I said, if she is struggling with confidence, perhaps she is not comfortable in her own skin, but in certain instances trying to show off like she has still got the ever elusive IT factor.

I would be very direct with her about it. Ask her all the questions you need information wise, like when does she want to do measurements, what is her target weight, is she going to be more ok with a sudden change in diet or a gradual one, and so on. And you end with, because you are getting mixed messages but want to help cause you know, you love her and all that jazz.

Perhaps tell her straight out that you love her body and you have always kind of had a fetish or kink to see what it is like to be with a lady of 200lbs or a little over. Honestly, doing just that, being honest about your fetish may be the answer. It is hard for some people to understand this fetish so do the best you can to be honest and open about it with her.

She may agree to the 200lbs, but keep in mind she needs to feel comfortable in her own skin. If she is not, no amount of subtle encouraging will change that. The honesty may help with reassurance, and maybe she gives gaining a try. But again, if she is feeling uncomfortable about herself and her body not only let her lose weight but help her do it. However, you could maybe ask if she does decide to diet and exercise, perhaps not go rail thin because you like having a lil something to hold onto.

Essentially, communicate and comprise.

See, I don't know really. Because for me, I would extremely enjoy using the domination to bring about the body contrast. I mean just imagine your feedee being tied up with plenty of force feedings and orgasms. But eventually they get so heavy they start breaking the ropes. Ahhhhh...that would be something special.

Apologies for the length. I had some catching up to do. LOL

I could see both sides of it really. I mean the whole reason people cheat is boredom and repressed urges/desires and a lack of communication to their partner in how to overcome that boredom and entertain those urges/desires.

If you look at the world "fetish" itself, because that is what feederism is. It gets gray, hence why a lot of people are saying it depends of the person or offering up their own feelings about it. The medical definition is the one that I always think of which is as follows, "an object or bodily part whose real or fantasized presence is PSYCHOLOGICALLY NECESSARY for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may INTERFERE with complete sexual expression." A fetish, like feederism, is needed to basically get off at least provide a damn good catalyst/aphordesiac; however, if not present it could very well prevent a person from getting off. This is where it becomes more of a discussion of how well you can tame the beast and discipline yourself because you are horny and want to release. Your partner may be well and good with their release but yours is lacking. This unevenness may be the drive to go have these private sessions and whatnot. All I'm saying really is that people cheat for various reasons, but the most common thread is that they wish to have something fulfilled and whomever they usually turn to can't get the job done. So it comes down to, do you blame yourself or do you blame your partner when it comes to cheating? Clearly both parties have their faults. He or she for not communicating, you for not asking if you could do anything to make it better. The list could go on.

Me personally, I don't feel as long and strong as I did with my ex (who was into feederism) than I do with my current girlfriend (she's not really into feederism). So in my case it stunts my ability some, but that is the nature of having a fetish, swinging that double-edged sword. My saving grace is that I have a variety of fetishes that I entertain and enjoy and some of them happen to overlap with my current girlfriend. Some people aren't as lucky so I can understand how the feedings, meals, tummy rubs,etc. could be considered as cheating.

I would say consider the two of you a dancing pair performing the tango or a sub/dom duo. It requires trust and communication, and then practice. If any of those are lacking, "why is it so?" where you examine them and yourself. And then you come back to the gray area of, can you really blame them? If so, than it's cheating. If not, well that is a lot of open-mindedness right there.

The Demolition Man