Ate my first pizza of the day, and for some reason it tasted weird, like very off putting weird. I almost didn't want to eat it because of how weird it tasted, but momma didn't raise a little bitch.
So if I die from food poisoning soon, we can either blame Dominoes, or the door dash guy for this one.

God this heat is awful, I’m about ready to drink all the water on Earth just to stay cool

I wish I was funnel fed while asleep for an entire night, just the idea of my gut being triple the size it was before I fell asleep is so hot.
Just this gigantic mound of my own flesh, gurgling and bubbling as it struggles to digest the titanic landfill it was forced to contain as my feeder then proceeds to climb on top of his work and sleep on his new “water bed”

Hot take

Going into the chatroom and messaging me to only make me play 20 questions with you isn’t fun for me and is actually quite obnoxious.