Chapter 1

So, seemingly as always, Sarah managed to jepordise good things when they landed in her lap.

Dating had been going fantastically well with James. The two were finally upfront about their relationship, she was beyond content, and yet...

What Sarah neglected to discuss with him was that she had a genuine preference for fat men, beyond that even, a love for weight gain. Deciding that such information would be off-putting for her new beau, she chose to deploy ostrich tactics and simply avoid discussing the subject. One of life's learning curves about curves - as she was to discover.

Perhaps two months after their first night of sweet sexual release, Sarah began to form the sneaking impression that James had lost weight. Trapped in her idiotic chasm of avoidance, she didn't know how to broach the subject, afterall she had never openly discussed her physical preferences and if he chose to lose weight that was his prerogative, she was not one to control a man.

Things finally came to a head when he returned from a training course in the States. Three weeks of separation and she was eager to see James again. She arrived at the airport to collect him and stood expectantly in the arrivals hall. She searched eagerly through the crowd as his flight began to exit through customs.

"Miss me?!" he exclaimed from directly in front of her. He had caught her unawares and was standing too close for her to mask her shock. She assessed him in horror, she estimated he had lost 7lbs or so and he was sporting new clothes, undoubtedly a size smaller.

“Is everything ok?” he asked anxiously.

“Yes, yes, sorry…I just didn’t see you”, she blustered.

Not having seen him for so long had emphasised his changing shape.

The two proceeded home and he filled her in on his adventures from the preceeding weeks.

“Are you sure you’re alright? You’re awfully quiet compared to your usual self” he enquired with concern.

“Oh, I’m fine, fine” she replied distractedly.

“You’ve barely spoken since the airport. “Please“, he coaxed, placing a hand gently on her knee “just let me know what’s on your mind”.

“Well…it’s just… well, I need to be honest with you and I hope you find this strange” she answered reluctantly.

“If I was bothered by strange things I wouldn’t be with you now would I?” he quipped with a smirk.

She took a breath and felt glad that she was driving, awkward conversations are greatly facilitated by the lack of eye contact - and the fact the other person could not leap from a moving vehicle!

“ I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, because I like you just the way you are, but I got a fright when I saw you in arrivals, you’d lost so much weight. I suppose I never really mentioned, but I rather like big guys and I was just taken aback”.

She leaped nervously into the silence that permeated the car “but I’m happy with however you want to be and I like you for who you are and not what you look like.”

“Right…” he trailed off with confusion. He didn’t know what to think. What an unusual thing to hear. He honestly didn’t think he could remember one occasion when he had been told that fat was fine.

Sarah had pulled up at his house at this point and in the preoccupied thoughts that filled the car, there was silence between them.

“Well - I better go freshen up and unpack” James said to break the quiet.

He gave her a peck on the cheek “I’ll call you later”, he hitched up his backpack and Sarah watched his retreating back with a heavy heart.

She punched the steering wheel with frustration “Why do you ruin everything?” she growled to herself.

“Lovely” she muttered to herself as she pulled out of his driveway “Just lovely, don’t see the boyfriend for a month and instead of welcoming him home, I insult him. Fan-fucking-tastic Sarah”. She returned home in foul humour and opted to let him cool off before she would call to apologise the next day.

Contrary to her self-berating, James was frankly bemused. He was still digesting this new discovery about his girlfriend. He logged on to his laptop to check his emails and a thought occurred to him. He wondered was it common for women to prefer big guys? Entering various words into google search, he first yielded tame confessions from “Cosmo” etc with girls admitting to preferring bigger guys, the word ‘fat’ was noticeably avoided, though he thought. Eventually, Google yielded a Wikipedia article on fat fetishism. Here he gleaned a knowledge of a world he had never heard of before - ‘gainer’, ‘BHM’, ‘feeder’, this new vocabulary shaped his understanding of a sphere where tubby guys like him were nigh on venerated. He felt positively giddy with the information. What a wonderful novelty! He cast his mind to Sarah and wondered if she was part of this elusive group of ‘FFA’s’. He had always noticed that she had seemed to spend far more time fondling his stomach when they were together than previous girlfriends did. In his ignorance, he assumed it was a subtle comment that he should lose weight, rendering him self-conscious. It seemed to all make sense now! He snatched up his keys and headed hastily to her apartment.